Enlightening Commentary

Shitshow of Shitshows Wrap-up

Posted on July 7, 2014

leprechaunEarlier in the week we made the following prediction: “if it’s like past 4ths, we are going to be guaranteed a massive, gigantic, epic shitshow of shitshows over the long weekend.” A massive, gigantic, epic shitshow of shitshows is exactly what we got.

UPDATE 2: 2 men who were in critical condition have passed. Now 16 have been killed.

UPDATE: Ok boys and girls, we’ve finally gotten it all straightened out. The final tally is 82 – 14 16 killed and another 68 66 shot and wounded.

A breakdown of the 82 incidents shows a clusterfuck and:

  • 14 16 homicides – all shot
  • 68 66 shot & wounded
  • At least 11 in serious/critical condition
  • 71 Males/11 Females
  • 5 police-involved shootings (2 killed)
  • 14 multi-victim incidents
  • 6 shot in the ass
  • CCW permit holder shoots and scores!

For those of you who follow us on Twitter, you may have seen the constant stream of Navy Pier fireworks tweets on Friday night. We said late that night that there would be a 99.99% chance that no major media outlet would cover what we had heard. We were wrong, there was one, just one though:

“With more than 100,000 people at Navy Pier alone and thousands more packing the lakefront to watch the Fourth of July fireworks, it was a busy night for Chicago Police.

Officers responded to calls for everything from fights to people setting off fireworks right along Michigan Avenue.”

Our collective stream of tweets has more characters than this story, but at least someone mentioned it. Nothing like 82 shot to divert attention away from that shitshow.