The Weekend’s Shoot-o-Rahm-a

Nothing to See Here Folks... Naked GunWednesday marked the 89th anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre or what today we call the weekend.

Final Shoot-o-Rahm-a Tally: 6 killed, 22 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 5 killed, 26 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 5 killed, 28 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 3 killed, 9 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 7 wounded

Friday 2/16
12:25p 3300 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/23
6:10p 1900 N Harding, Hermosa, M/18
6:15p 3900 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, M/19
8:00p 2900 W Cermak, Little Village, M/25
8:15p 10200 S Hoxie, South Deering, M/19
8:15p 10200 S Hoxie, South Deering, M/18
9:20p 4700 S Ada, New City, M/37
Saturday 2/17
2:00a 4000 S Archer, Brighton Park, F/22
2:10a 3000 W North, Humboldt Park, M/38
4:40a 1200 W 60th, Englewood, M/33
6:25a 4000 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/18
6:25a 4000 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/23
6:25a 4000 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, F/56
2:30p 4000 W Armitage, Hermosa, M/19
8:50p 700 E 133rd, Riverdale, M/28
10:30p 3100 W Carroll, Garfield Park, M/18
11:25p 2900 S Loomis, Bridgeport, F/50
Sunday 2/18
12:25a 8300 S Carpenter, Auburn Gresham, M/18
1:00a 1500 W 80th, Auburn Gresham, M/23
1:00a 1500 W 80th, Auburn Gresham, M/33
5:20a 7700 S Kilbourn, Ashburn, M/?
5:50a 4500 S Hermitage, New City, M/37
9:05a 2400 S Albany, Little Village, M/36
12:20p 400 W Chicago, Near North Side, M/31
4:40p 9200 S Manistee, Calumet Heights, M/21
5:55p 4000 E 134th, Hegewisch, M/17
Monday Overtime
2:10a 7400 S Stony Island, South Shore, M/34
4:20a 2200 S Keeler, North Lawndale, M/24

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

End of Watch

Chicago Police Commander killed:

“A high-ranking Chicago police officer was shot to death at the Thompson Center on Tuesday afternoon while assisting a tactical team that was chasing a person who was acting suspiciously, police said.

Cmdr. Paul Bauer of the Near North District was shot several times a little before 2 p.m., according to police Superintendent Eddie Johnson. He said a suspect was taken into custody and a gun recovered.

Bauer was shot after a man started running from tactical officers who had tried to stop him for questioning, according to Johnson. The officers radioed a description that the commander heard, he said. Bauer, at the Thompson Center for a training session, confronted the suspect, who opened fire.”

RIP Commander Paul Bauer.

Find additional commentary over at Second City Cop.

The Weekend’s Dibs-o-Rahm-a

Dibs in Chicago

Final Shoot-o-Rahm-a Tally: 5 killed, 3 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 8 killed, 21 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 7 killed, 14 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 2 killed, 7 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 2 wounded

Friday 2/9
10:30p 8100 S Drexel, Chatham, M/40
10:50p 5200 S May, New City, M/45

Saturday 2/10
1:00a 7700 S Peoria, Auburn Gresham, M/27
5:25p 1502 N Western, West Town, M/47
Sunday 2/11
2:55a 2500 W 63rd, Chicago Lawn, M/18
12:05p 7300 S Bell, Chicago Lawn, M/21

Monday Overtime
1:15a 2700 S State, Douglas, M/52
2:50a 2800 N Whipple, Avondale, M/33

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

The Weekend’s Shoot-o-Rahm-a

Super Bowl XX

Final Shoot-o-Rahm-a Tally: 8 killed, 17 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 5 killed, 18 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 5 killed, 23 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 2 killed, 9 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 10 wounded

Friday 2/2
3:00p 6400 S Kedzie, Chicago Lawn, M/24
4:35p 3900 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/19
6:15p 6600 N Damen, West Ridge, M/24
9:50p 8600 S Carpenter, Auburn Gresham, F/56
10:00p 3000 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/18

10:45p 3200 S Ashland, Mckinley Park, M/20
Saturday 2/3
12:05a 100 E 119th, West Pullman, M/53
1:10a 3200 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/20
2:00a1500 W Jonquil, Rogers Park, M/28
10:30a 7700 S Yates, South Shore, M/25
12:20p 10000 S Bensley, South Deering, M/24
12:20p 10000 S Bensley, South Deering, M/25
12:55p 4100 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/18
2:45p 11300 S King, Roseland, M/26
3:00p 9300 S Escanaba, Calumet Heights, M/25
3:15p 140 W Garfield, Fuller Park, M/23
8:30p 2400 W 63rd, Chicago Lawn, F/29
Sunday 2/4
12:35a 11700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, M/18
12:35a 11700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, F/19
12:35a 11700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, M/23
7:25p 9500 S Halsted, Washington Heights, M/30
10:00p 3200 E 91st, South Chicago, M/32
10:10p 6600 S St. Louis, Chicago Lawn, M/32
Monday Overtime
12:55a 11800 S Indiana, West Pullman, M/?
1:40a 6600 S St. Louis, Chicago Lawn, M/25

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

January Wrap-up

Carnac the Magnificent An average January posted average numbers with average being touted as “remarkable” because last year was such a shitshow.

January 2018: 41 killed, 173 wounded
January 2017: 57 killed, 258 wounded
January 2016: 57 killed, 256 wounded
January 2015: 32 killed, 120 wounded
January 2014: 24 killed, 82 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 36 shot & killed
  • 1 non-fatal police shooting
  • 1 fatal CCW shooting
  • 2 homicide-linked arrests
  • Averaged 6.7 people shot per day
  • 12 days were homicide-free
  • 0 death investigations (hmm)
  • 21 in serious or critical condition
  • 37 males killed vs 4 females
  • 41 teenagers shot, 3 killed
  • 8 grazed
  • 4 selfies
  • 6 #ShotInTheAss

February is always the slowest and quietest month of the year which will result in a “remarkable” decrease in the increase. We’re forecasting 35 homicides with another 150 shot and wounded which will be the low point of the year as spring is due to arrive and warm-ups begin ahead of the annual summer shooting season.

The Weekend’s Shoot-o-Rahm-a

Nothing to See Here Folks... Naked Gun

Final Shoot-o-Rahm-a Tally: 2 killed, 20 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 5 killed, 23 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 8 killed, 25 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 4 killed, 7 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 10 wounded

Friday 1/26
1:45p 1800 N Luna, Austin, M/20
1:45p 1800 N Luna, Austin, M/26
4:55p 5400 S Winchester, New City, M/21
7:35p 1300 E 76th, South Shore, M/19
10:15p 1800 S Avers, North Lawndale, M/12 (selfie)
Saturday 1/27
12:20a 2500 W Division, West Town, M/28
12:20a 2500 W Division, West Town, M/38
2:30a 2500 S Spaulding, Little Village, M/26
3:30a 1800 W 36th, Mckinley Park, M/30
5:20a 12000 S Eggleston, West Pullman, F/26
11:15a 1300 W 110th, Morgan Park, M/20
11:15a 1300 W 110th, Morgan Park, M/23
1:45p 2000 W 52nd, New City, M/13
4:00p 2400 S Albany, Little Village, M/22
4:00p 2400 S Albany, Little Village, F/39
6:00p 800 E 76th, Grand Crossing, M/64
6:40p 1800 S Western, Lower West Side, M/29
Sunday 1/28
1:35a 5700 W Huron, Austin, M/33
2:00a Somewhere over-by-‘der, F/32
3:00a 6000 S Troy, Chicago Lawn, F/23
4:00a 7300 S Halsted, Englewood, M/24
4:30p 3800 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/?

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Happy Anniversary

Three StoogesFive years ago today we launched an idea based on the “Chicago values” we were lectured about during the violent, political-anti-Chick-fil-A chicken sammich-infused summer of 2012. Every now and then we’re reminded about these values, but since we were never told exactly what those values are, we assumed that it must be murder, crime and mayhem.

In the past five years, we’ve recorded nearly 3,000 homicides, 15,000 shot and wounded, a crapload of “death investigations” along with many hundreds of people who caught one in the ass.

As always, thanks to everyone who has visited, emailed, followed, linked, liked and donated helping make this idea a very minor success.

– The HeyJackass Crew

Flip to ’18

Face PlantWe’ll begin posting the 2018 stats and graphics over the next day or so. Per usual, not everything will be posted at first, but as the stupidity accumulates over the coming weeks and months, additional stats will make their appearance.

UPDATE: Flip complete.

Thanks for your patience and continued support.

Sorry Folks

Sorry folks, we're taking some time off.Again, no Weekend-Shoot-O-Rahm-A nor much of anything else for the next several days. 2018 stats may be posted sometime next week or maybe not at all, we haven’t decided yet. Have a good weekend.

The Weekend’s Shoot-o-Rahm-a

Chicago: Iced over parked carWe now join our frigid weekend programming already in progress.

Final Shoot-o-Rahm-a Tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 2 killed, 10 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 7 killed, 32 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 2 killed, 14 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 8 wounded

Friday 1/5
12:10p 1500 E 62nd, Woodlawn, M/29
1:00p 3700 W Montrose, Albany Park, F/19
6:05p 5300 W Lake, Austin, M/35
7:10p 4100 W Armitage, Hermosa, M/30
8:15p 3900 W 26th, Little Village, M/27
Saturday 1/6
12:30a 2800 N California, Logan Square, M/30
2:20a 2300 W Jackson, Near West Side, M/31
6:30a 3100 W Polk, Garfield Park, M/29
11:10a 2300 E 69th, South Shore, M/35
11:30a 2500 W Flournoy, Near West Side, M/16
1:05p 7200 S May, Englewood, M/47
1:30p 6700 S Champlain, Woodlawn, M/16
Sunday 1/7
2:55a 5700 S State, Washington Park, M/26
6:10a 5000 S Hoyne, New City, M/15
6:10a 5000 S Hoyne, New City, M/43
1:30p 500 N Laramie, Austin, M/49
4:05p 700 N Christiana, Humboldt Park, M/53

7:30p 1900 N Sawyer, Logan Square, M/30
8:00p 1400 W Washburne, Near West Side, M/41
8:50p 1200 N Springfield, Humboldt Park, M/17
Monday Overtime
3:30a 5400 W Eddy, Portage Park, M/31

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Year In Review

Father TimeIt’s that time of year when we make a piss poor attempt to summarize the year that was. We classified 2016 simply as a “shitshow”. We’re going to say that 2017 was slightly less shitshow-y, but a shitshow nonetheless.

For more than half of the year, 2017 was running ahead of 2016 with such performances like the disastrous July 4th weekend that tallied over 100 shot or the annual Father’s Day Shoot-O-Rahm-a. By August-time, the idiocy, for whatever reason, retraced back to 2015 levels where rainbow farting unicorns grazed along the lakefront and songs of “#crimeisdown” filled the air.

Come midnight Jan 1, 2018, 16.5% less people were dead and nearly 20% less people were found themselves with additional ventilation. Aside from comparing 2017 to the worst year in two decades, a decline in the incline is parade worthy (just don’t invite the carjackers or the $200 million overtimers).

Fortunately, we fell way short with our 2017 prediction of 850 homicides and 3850 shot and wounded. 2018 may likely fall somewhere in-between 2017 and 2015 with 600-650 homicides and 2500-3000 shot and wounded. If the Polar Vortex decides to hang out for much the winter, we think we’ll end up closer to the lower end of that range.

Finally, many thanks to everyone who visited, liked, retweeted, emailed and hit the tip jar this past year. Have yourself a safe and prosperous new year.