New Year’s Stupidity

New Year's  DrunkNew Year’s Day tallied three homicides and 12 shot and wounded which puts 2016’s projected full year totals at 1,095 homicides and 4,380 shot and wounded. That’s probably a bit on the high side.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 40 wounded
2014 weekend tally*: 3 killed, 25 wounded

New Year’s Eve
3:00p 1000 N Lorel, Austin, M/24
3:00p 1000 N Lorel, Austin, F/26
4:50p 7200 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/28
8:20p 6200 S King, Grand Crossing, M/30
10:15p 7000 S Laflin, Englewood, M/?
New Year’s Day
12:05a 8000 S Paxton, South Chicago, F/34
12:50a 9200 S Drexel, Burnside, M/38
2:00a 4600 S St Lawrence, Grand Boulevard, M/24
2:00a 4600 S St Lawrence, Grand Boulevard, M/38
2:30a 9800 S Beverly, Washington Heights, M/24
2:30a 9800 S Beverly, Washington Heights, M/24
2:45a 7500 S State, Grand Crossing, M/20
2:45a 7500 S State, Grand Crossing, M/22
2:45a 7500 S State, Grand Crossing, M/26
4:30a 600 S Kostner, Garfield Park, M/26
6:20a 5400 S Winchester, New City, M/29
6:40a 1958 W Garfield, New City, M/36
3:05p 4800 N Lake Shore, Uptown, F/19
3:15p 2849 W 59th, Chicago Lawn, M/42
6:10p 5500 S Shields, Englewood, M/27
9:40p 6141 S Sangamon, Englewood, M/22
Saturday 1/2
4:15a 3500 W Lake, Garfield Park, M/19
4:50a 500 S Lavergne, Austin, M/28
4:50a 500 S Lavergne, Austin, M/34
6:30a 300 S Cicero, Austin, F/21
8:25a 5400 W Quincy, Austin, M/29
8:50a 100 N Parkside, Austin, M/27
4:45p 6300 S Stony Island, Woodlawn, M/16
5:10p 10100 S Michigan, Roseland, M/26
8:50p 8320 S Dobson, Chatham, M/25
Sunday 1/3
2:15a 600 N Lake Shore, Near North Side, M/25
2:15a 600 N Lake Shore, Near North Side, M/30
2:15a 600 N Lake Shore, Near North Side, M/32
2:45a 100 W Garfield, Washington Park, M/18
3:00a 3800 S Albany, Brighton Park, M/44
3:00a 4400 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/33
3:00a 4400 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/29
3:15a 1400 S Christiana, North Lawndale, M/26
4:20a 600 S St. Louis, Garfield Park, M/35
4:50a 3500 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/21
2:50p 13100 S Eberhart, Riverdale, F/18
6:30p 500 E 47th, Grand Boulevard, M/23
7:00p 900 N Lavergne, Austin, M/19
8:00p 7000 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, M/33

Weekend = 12p Thursday – 6a Monday
*Weekend = 12p Wednesday – 6a Monday

Year In Review

Father TimeIt’s that time to look back at the year that was, 2015.

The year started off much like 2014 with another, though slightly less potent, Polar Vortex. Only this time around, the year got off to a foreboding start with a massive 48% increase in successful lead deliveries for January.

The third snowiest February of all time saw the feel good story of 2014, the Jackie Robinson West Little League Baseball World Series run, be exposed as a fraud. Followed by another feel good story, Tiny Dancer being forced into a runoff with Chewie.

March picked up the pace by racking up an impressive 76% jump in successful lead deliveries. The winter shooting season closed out looking at a 16% jump in homicides with another 49% increase in people shot, but crime was down and strategies were working.

We were able to April Fool a few of you while Tiny April Fooled the city by winning his runoff with Chewie. As we said at the time, “When it comes to second terms, they typically blow and blow hard.” Little did we know.

“It’s beginning to get warmer. When it gets warmer, things happen…”

May’s first weekend left 36 ventilated only to be outdone by 49 shot which then was capped off with a 57 shot Memorial Day weekend extravaganza. Before the month would expire, bullet magnet & rapper Young Pappy would expire as well after taking a round to the head. May would end with 49 homicides and a total of 322 people shot.

With summer in full swing and the body count rising, the Blackhawks cemented their dynasty status, the Pride Parade turned out the usual stupidity all while the powers that be were clutching their pearls in fear of the upcoming July 4th weekend. June would end with 51 homicides, besting 2014’s 39.

The July 4th Shitshow started off in an unexpected manner, in relative peace. The wheels came off late into the evening on July 4th when the next 23 hours would see a record 42 shot, leaving 6 dead. A couple of weeks later, another bullet magnet and rapper, Capo, was fatally ventilated with his alleged assailant running over a 13-month-old boy while fleeing from police. The month clocked out with a body count of 58, including a quadruple homicide in Chatham.

August began with the traditional Shootapalooza weekend with its Sunday managing to rack up 23 people shot. While some legitimate honor students were looking at lengthy prison terms, the city’s ERs and morgues continued to be populated in typical August fashion. 358 people would end up with some variety of lead poisoning.

Summer wrapped up with 206 dead and 1002 shot and wounded. Crime was down and strategies were working.

September came flying out the gate with 9 homicides in a single day and 21 in the first week alone. Back-to-back weekends tallied entire February like numbers with a total of 15 dead and 100 wounded. In all, September ended up being the deadliest since 2002.

October saw the Cubs make a World Series run only to fall to some jagoffs from Queens. It also saw a massive tax increase from a jagoff from Wilmette.

November witnessed its first lethal shooting involving a CCW carrier. 9-year-old Tyshaun Lee was executed in an alley and his mother promptly purchased a new car and jetted off to Vegas to ‘grieve’. The Laquan McDonald video was released a couple of days before Thanksgiving but the expected inferno never materialized. However, the Michigan Ave Apple Store and numerous intersections downtown were shown who’s the boss by a few hundred protesters.

December started with Tiny’s bus taking out GMath. The Ronald Johnson video came a week later and while most moved on, the Apple Store and a few intersections downtown were shown who’s the boss again by dozens of protesters. To top off the year, the CPD killed two bringing their personal total to 9 killed and 16 wounded, or less than a percent of the total.

With what little time 2015 has left, 500 homicides and 3,000 shot is likely. Numerous pending “death investigations” and late expirations will cause the final number will slowly rise throughout 2016 to 505-510.

Finally, we’d like to thank everyone who visited, viewed, commented, liked, followed, shared, emailed and hated this year. Have a safe, healthy and prosperous 2016. Stay fetal.

Taking One For The Team

Fist FightBy most measures, Tiny Dancer is not a very popular person these days. So while he relaxes on the beach in Cuba with his Commie friends, aides are left to deal with the aftermath of a police-involved double homicide. Needless to say, the locals aren’t very happy with anyone of late:

“A deputy chief of staff to Mayor Rahm Emanuel was physically assaulted while attending a vigil in the block where Chicago police shot and killed two people over the weekend, according to a Chicago police report.

According to a report of the incident, the victim was Vance Henry, 50, who was walking with Ald. Jason Ervin at the vigil when they were accosted by a man who cursed Emanuel and the police and said, “What are you doing here, you should be downtown doing something about this.” The man also said that “the police are killing us,” according to the report.”

Side note: While the police do in fact kill people, “us” are killing other “us”s at an exponentially higher rate.

“Henry then told the assailant to “get out of his face,” and the man swung at Henry, striking him in the face, the report said. A second person tackled Henry and shoved him to the ground, the report said.

According to the report, the two assailants attempted to kick Henry, grazing him in the back of the head. One of the assailants made an anti-Semitic remark. That remark may have been directed at Emanuel, who is Jewish.”

Things are getting chippy. In 1966 all it took was a guy getting arrested for opening a fire hydrant to set things off.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Drunk Santa

Final Stupidity Tally: 13 killed, 23 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 23 wounded

Christmas Eve
12:15p 3900 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/16
5:00p 7300 S Vernon, Grand Crossing, M/30
5:35p 300 W 111th, Roseland, M/42

9:00p 700 W Evergreen, Near North Side, F/?
10:00p 2300 W 72nd, Chicago Lawn, M/14
2:10a 4700 S Loomis, New City, M/40
2:10a 4700 S Loomis, New City, M/20
3:40a 1600 W 44th, New City, M/22
8:30a 5500 W Monroe, Austin, M/22
11:35a 700 W 71st, Englewood, M/20

12:40p 1300 N Mason, Austin, M/23
3:40p 1600 E 70th, South Shore, M/25
4:30p 3100 W 58th, Gage Park, M/26
4:40p 2000 N Keystone, Hermosa, M/45
7:30p 1600 N Leclaire, Austin, M/37
9:10p 7100 S King, Grand Crossing, M/49
10:40p 4800 W Lake, Austin, F/19
Saturday 12/26
4:40a 4700 W Erie, Austin, M/19 (story)
4:40a 4700 W Erie, Austin, F/55 (OOP$$$)
6:00a 457 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/18
1:30p 1000 W 103rd, Washington Heights, M/23(story)
3:45p 4500 N Sheridan, Uptown, M/63
4:35p 3800 S Ellis, Oakland, M/18
6:15p 5200 W Adams, Austin, M/16
7:20p 600 S Tripp, Garfield Park, M/28
9:55p 2834 W 21st, Little Village, M/36

Sunday 12/27
2:15a 5900 S Wentworth, Englewood, M/29
2:15a 5900 S Wentworth, Englewood, F/28

2:30a 1100 W Lawrence, Uptown, M/68
2:30a 1100 W Lawrence, Uptown, F/34
4:20a 6000 S Laflin, Englewood, M/25
5:30a 6700 S Oakley, Chicago Lawn, F/55
11:15a 8700 S May, Auburn Gresham, M/37
2:30p 300 W 115th, Roseland, F/21
4:55p 3800 W Division, Humboldt Park, M/17
8:15p 6700 S Marshfield, Englewood, M/35

police involved
Weekend = 12p Thursday – 6a Monday

Merry Christmas

Cousin EddieHave a safe, relaxing and enjoyable Christmas. We’ll be making minimal updates over the next couple of days and be back for 2015’s final weekend and year end quota run. Open post until then.

Merry Christmas.

A 2-fer

Two For OneOops:

“A Garfield Park man has been charged with murder after his gun fired during a Little Village home invasion — killing his accomplice, authorities said.

Ronald Williamson, 35, was carrying a Smith & Wesson handgun when he and Lawrence Pitts, 37, broke into an apartment in the 2200 block of South Avers Avenue just after 10 p.m. Wednesday, according to court records.

The resident, a 43-year-old man, told police he heard a loud crash that sounded like someone kicking in a door, and went to check it out, according to an arrest report.

He found Williamson and Pitts entering his back door, where they demanded to know where his stuff was, the arrest report said.

The resident grabbed Williamson’s gun and began to struggle, police said. The gun went off, fatally striking Pitts, who would later die of multiple gunshot wounds.”

Nice to see a homeowner get the best of two jagoffs, but it sounds like an illegal firearms transfer took place, therefore the homeowner will see more jail time than either offender (except maybe the dead one).

We’re only partially kidding.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

A Christmas Story slideNot only is there still time to hit 500 homicides and 3,000 shot, there is also still time to ask Santa for an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air assault rifle!

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 29 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded

Friday 12/18
12:50p 6100 S Bishop, Englewood, M/24
7:20p 600 N Kedzie, Humboldt Park, M/25
8:15p 3500 W 26th, Little Village, M/26
8:15p 3500 W 26th, Little Village, M/35
9:20p 940 N Cicero, Austin, M/25
Saturday 12/19
12:10a 4000 S Calumet, Grand Boulevard, M/40
12:30a 7200 S Bennett, South Shore, M/19
1:15a 5600 S Green, Englewood, F/48
1:30a 7200 S Bennett, South Shore, M/23
1:35a 5400 S Racine, New City, M/24
2:35a 3500 W 58th, Gage Park, M/19
2:35a 3500 W 58th, Gage Park, M/21
3:40a 2800 S St. Louis, Little Village, M/17
4:50a 5400 W Gladys, Austin, M/35
3:10p 2800 N Kilbourn, Hermosa, M/23
6:40p 7800 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/22
Sunday 12/20
12:05a 400 S Homan, Garfield Park, M/17
1:20a 4400 S Western, Brighton Park, M/37
3:50a 1400 W Wabansia, West Town, F/21
3:50a 1400 W Wabansia, West Town, M/23
5:30a 5400 S Laflin, New City, M/31
5:30a 5400 S Laflin, New City, M/33
6:00a 5200 S Green, New City, M/71 (story)
10:35a 3800 N Octavia, Dunning, M/52 (story)
3:00p 5000 S Archer, Archer Heights, M/35
4:00p 5400 W Hirsch, Austin, M/23
4:40p 2700 S Dearborn, Douglas, M/17
8:45p 1100 N Monitor, Austin, M/26
10:35p 9600 S Throop, Washington Heights, M/17
Monday Overtime
5:15a 200 N Central, Austin, M/56

police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

We Know Nothing

Sgt SchultzCity Hall’s useless idiots hear nothing, see nothing and most of all, know nothing:

“Chicago aldermen are holding a hearing Tuesday on the Laquan McDonald shooting by a police officer, with political symbolism and campaign angling ahead of the March 15 primary election for state’s attorney among the themes.

The joint hearing of the City Council’s Human Relations and Public Safety committees is unfolding despite the fact that aldermen don’t have the power to force changes at the state’s attorney’s office. And while they are asking for information on Police Department policies, aldermen are not calling for specific changes in the way police misconduct cases are investigated.

While Mayor Rahm Emanuel has come under intense criticism for keeping video of the shooting under wraps, the aldermen did not request that the mayor or even top aides appear at the hearing. And the first witness, the mayor’s head of the agency who reviews police shootings, offered generic answers as aldermen pressed for specifics, saying she’s new to the job.”

In other words, it’s the aldermanic equivalent of “heard shots, felt pain”.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

1970s CPDWhile Tiny hides and the protests jump the shark, some springlike temps may result in sudden cases of lead poisoning at a higher rate than expected.

Final Stupidity Tally: 2 killed, 33 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 32 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 4 killed, 17 wounded

Friday 12/11
1:15p 3300 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/?
3:30p 8300 S Damen, Auburn Gresham, M/28
7:10p 9200 S Baltimore, South Chicago, M/45
7:55p 5500 W Adams, Austin, M/32
10:30p 700 W 92nd, Washington Heights, M/19
Saturday 12/12
1:00a 700 W Garfield, New City, F/20
1:40a 3600 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, M/37
2:15a 2100 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, M/46
2:30a 3200 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/28
2:40a 5900 S Hamlin, West Lawn, M/16
2:50a 3400 W Lawrence, Albany Park, M/25
2:50a 3400 W Lawrence, Albany Park, M/28
3:55a 2400 W Armitage, Logan Square, M/28
4:00a Car Violence Leaves 3 in Serious Condition
5:55a 7100 S Dobson, Grand Crossing, M/18
9:30a Jackson Park Lagoon Floater
12:30p Chicago River Floater
2:30p 3800 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/23
2:30p 3800 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, F/23
3:25p 4800 S Seeley, New City, M/32
4:25p 5900 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/5
5:45p 1 Dead, 12 Wounded From Mass Auto Attack
11:10p 5200 S Wabash, Washington Park, M/15
Sunday 12/13
12:05a 500 S Cicero, Austin, M/33
1:45a 3000 N Drake, Avondale, M/38
2:25a 300 W 91st, Roseland, M/59
3:10a Wrigleyville Shootout Ventilates “Rapper”
3:40a 4700 S Ashland, New City, M/27
3:50a 3100 W 53rd, Gage Park, M/34
5:25a 800 N Central Park, Humboldt Park, M/31
7:55a 1300 W 21st, Lower W Side, M/18
10:00a 7200 S May, Englewood, M/26
12:40p 9100 S Ada, Washington Heights, M/17
12:55p 5600 W Madison, Austin, M/22
4:10p 5100 W Concord, Austin, M/24
9:05p 3900 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/20
Monday Overtime
2:40a CFD Firefighter Killed in Fire
4:00a 200 S Kilbourn, Garfield Park, M/49
4:50a 3700 W Leland, Albany Park, M/27
4:50a 3700 W Leland, Albany Park, F/29

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

What’s Next?

Fit It FelixTiny gave a long-winded apology to his merry band of go-along-hanger-ons stating that he’d not only fix “it”, but give everyone a free puppy (we made that last part up).

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Wednesday apologized to aldermen for the police shooting of Laquan McDonald “that happened on my watch.”

“If we’re going to fix it, I want you to understand it’s my responsibility with you,” Emanuel said in a rare speech to the full Chicago City Council. “But if we’re also going to begin the healing process, the first step in that journey is my step, and I’m sorry.”

Emanuel — who has dismissed his police superintendent, parted ways with the head of the police shooting review agency and dropped opposition to the release of the McDonald shooting video during the last two weeks — framed up the situation as “a defining moment on the issues of crime and policing — and the even larger issues of truth, justice and race.”

The address of about 40 minutes, coming during a crucial time of Emanuel’s tenure, was more of a political speech designed to assuage Chicagoans than one filled with specific plans that several aldermen called for this week to deal with entrenched problems in the Chicago Police Department.”

After his speech, protesters took to the streets to demand Tiny’s resignation. Barring said resignation or illness or death, Chicago or Illinois does not have a mechanism for removing a sitting mayor.

But, let’s say he did resign (we don’t think he will), what happens next? We have yet to see, read or hear of the utopia that awaits us in this post-9.5 world.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Penny Farthing Wipeout

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 22 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 25 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 3 killed, 13 wounded

Friday 12/4
4:00p 4100 W 21st, North Lawndale, M/23
4:45p 2400 W 65th, Chicago Lawn, M/40
7:10p 5100 S Troy, Gage Park, M/64
9:10p 2337 W Washington, Near West Side, M/20
9:10p 2337 W Washington, Near West Side, M/21
9:35p 4240 N Kimball, Irving Park, M/20
10:00p 3900 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/23
10:45p 2600 W Crystal, West Town, M/22
Saturday 12/5
6:45a 7800 S Rhodes, Grand Crossing, M/36
6:45a 7800 S Rhodes, Grand Crossing, M/38
7:00a 800 N Avers, Humboldt Park, M/25
5:40p 600 E 46th, Grand Boulevard, M/25
7:00p 3300 W 79th, Ashburn, M/27 (ccw miss)
8:00p 5700 S Union, Englewood, M/17
8:30p 4800 S Cottage Grove, Grand Boulevard, M/30
11:05p 2800 S Pulaski, Little Village, M/20
11:30p 2900 W 25th, Little Village, F/24
Sunday 12/6
12:45a 7800 S State, Grand Crossing, M/22
1:20a 1200 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/26
1:20a 1200 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/26
1:20a 1200 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/25
6:20a 5000 S Carpenter, New City, M/29
1:15p 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/18
8:15p 2100 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/18
10:05 2300 W Jackson, Near West Side, M/30
10:30p 4100 W Crystal, Humboldt Park, M/16

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


dominoesAfter the release of the McDonald video and its likely alleged cover-up, other police-involved shooting videos have made themselves known. Since the first cover-up is usually the best cover-up, there isn’t much point in fighting it any longer.

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel said Thursday the city will no longer fight the release of a police dash-cam video depicting a Chicago police officer fatally shooting a man in the back as he ran from the police on the city’s South Side.

For more than a year, lawyers for Ronald Johnson III’s family have battled City Hall over the release of the video of Johnson’s shooting, which bore striking similarities to the killing of teenager Laquan McDonald by a different police officer eight days later. A Cook County judge is set to hear arguments Dec. 10 in a lawsuit the family filed seeking the video’s release under the state’s open records laws.

Just as it had in McDonald’s shooting, the city fought tooth and nail to keep the Johnson video from being made public, arguing in court filings as recently as Oct. 30 that releasing it could inflame the public and jeopardize the officer’s right to a fair trial if he was charged later, court records show.”

And after this one, another one is warming up in the bullpen.

“You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.” Say, like getting the hell out of town and hope (probably) everyone forgets?

Wheels on the Bus

Safe Passage: Under the BusIn the aftermath of the McDonald video, 9.5 needed someone besides himself under the bus and none other than the Streetlight Assassin himself, CPD Superintendent Garry McCarthy was tapped to assume the position:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Tuesday announced he has dismissed Chicago police Superintendent Garry McCarthy, citing a lack of public trust in the police leadership in the wake of the high-profile shooting that eventually led to a white officer being charged with first-degree murder in the death of a black teen shot 16 times in a Southwest Side street last year.

“Superintendent McCarthy knows that a police officer is only as effective as when he has the trust of those he serves,” Emanuel said at a City Hall news conference where he appointed a task force to look at police accountability.”

We weren’t big fans of Garry with his goofy stats, crime is down lingo and his railing against legal gun owners and guns in general. However, his job now is to play the fall guy for Tiny who is no doubt in survival mode. Look for others to find themselves under the bus as fallout from this video (and maybe others) spreads.

Better written opinions:

Another Shooting Video?

Police Shooting CigaretteThe Sun-Times’ Mary Mitchell was one of the first to report on the existence of the McDonald video. Now the word on the street is that there is another video from another police-involved shooting:

Is the city trying to hide another damning video of a Chicago police officer shooting an unarmed black man?

The mother of Ronald Johnson thinks so. The 25-year-old black man was fatally shot by a Chicago cop a week before Laquan McDonald was shot 16 times by another officer.

“They are covering up. They have dashcam footage showing how my son was killed,” Dorothy Holmes told me.

Admittedly, our initial reaction was it sounds like a “hey, me too, where’s my payout”, however…

After the shooting, Pat Camden, a spokesman for the Fraternal Order of Police, gave media an account of what happened just as he did after McDonald was killed.

According to Camden, Johnson pointed a gun in the direction of the officers responding to a call of shots fired.

According to Holmes, the video will prove that account to be false.

Pat’s a known liar, period. Plus…

The city has gotten a “protective order” from a federal judge precluding Holmes’ attorney from releasing the video.

“We filed a Freedom of Information Act request and it was denied. We then filed a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit,” Oppenheimer said.

A federal judge is expected to rule on the release of this dashcam video on Dec. 10.

In other words, here we go again.

Thanksgiving Stupidity

3 Stooges ThanksgivingWith a slightly more than an 86 minute gap, we now join our special, extended Thanksgiving Weekend Stupidity already in progress.

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 22 wounded
2014 Thanksgiving weekend: 5 killed, 23 wounded
2013 Thanksgiving weekend: 4 killed, 12 wounded

Wednesday 11/25
12:30p 2800 N Austin, Belmont Cragin, M/19
3:30p 4900 W Erie, Austin, M/22
4:05p 6600 S Lowe, Englewood, M/16
10:15p 3400 W Chicago, Humboldt Park, M/24
11:55p 3352 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/16
1:20p 2200 W Thome, West Ridge, M/23
2:35p 13400 South Ave O, Hegewisch, M/27
3:15p 5000 S Forrestville, Grand Boulevard, M/19
#000000 Friday
1:20a 7800 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/31
2:40a 3400 S California, Little Village, M/45
3:15a 2100 S Wabash, Near South Side, M/31
1:20p 100 N Hamlin, Garfield Park, M/36
10:45p 1400 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/14
Saturday 11/28
1:30a 1200 N Central, Austin, M/20
4:10p Body Found Near Belmont Harbor (suicide)
5:00p 6600 S Marshfield, Englewood, M/26
8:55p 2756 W 24th, Little Village, M/32

9:00p 3935 W Division, Humboldt Park, M/21
11:10p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/28
Sunday 11/29
12:20a 5300 S Union, New City, M/27
12:20a 5300 S Union, New City, F/32
1:50a 5500 S State, Washington Park, M/33
5:10a 5400 S Hoyne, New City, M/23
5:45a 5400 S Menard, Garfield Ridge, M/22
3:50p 9200 S Halsted, Washington Heights, M/25
6:30p 1300 N Mayfield, Austin, M/23
6:30p 7300 S Luella, South Shore, M/26
7:55p 900 W 59th, Englewood, M/28
8:45p 6700 S Western, Chicago Lawn, M/32
8:45p 6700 S Western, Chicago Lawn, M/49
11:40p 1500 N Paulina, West Town, M/?
Monday Overtime
3:30a 7500 S South Shore, South Shore, M/48

Weekend = 12p Wednesday – 6a Monday

Just A Coincidence

DiceWith the McDonald police shooting video dropping any moment now, we’re sure it’s just a coincidence that the officer involved is just now getting hit with a first degree murder charge:

A Chicago Police officer accused of shooting a knife-wielding teen 16 times a year ago, killing him in a run-in captured on video, will be charged with first-degree murder, a law enforcement source said Monday.

The charges against Officer Jason Van Dyke are expected Tuesday in the October 2014 shooting death of Laquan McDonald, 17, the law enforcement source said.

The officer, assigned to desk duty since the shooting, is not yet in custody, but is expected to show up at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse Tuesday for a bond hearing, the source said.

The charges come as Chicagoans brace for the release of the squad car dashcam video of the shooting, described by those who have seen it as horrific.

This may help defuse things a little bit, because one of the main ingredients in police shooting unrest is the ‘cop who gets away with it’. On the other hand, numerous choirs, scout troops and honor students have had plenty of time to plan for “spontaneous” stupidity making the above indictment meaningless.

OVERCHARGED: Police Officer Who Shot Laquan McDonald Charged With First Degree Murder Prediction: the murder charge won’t stick and he’ll walk free.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Pre storm dibsThe best crime prevention tool available is the weather and with the first major snow of the year along with some bitter cold, we’re not expecting much this weekend. Instead, we’ll keep a look out for the video which may liven things up a bit.

Alternative headline: Weekend “Chi-raq” Premiere Party Leaves 6 Dead and 13 Wounded.

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 13 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 15 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 3 killed, 14 wounded

Friday 11/20
12:10p 6300 S Fairfield, Chicago Lawn, F/23 (update)
1:00p 800 N Central, Austin, M/23
2:15p 11600 S Morgan, West Pullman, M/20
4:30p 6600 S Claremont, Chicago Lawn, M/20
7:45p 7000 S Calumet, Grand Crossing, M/24
Saturday 11/21
1:10a 1200 W 71st, Englewood, M/38
1:35a 6500 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/26
4:15a 3300 W LeMoyne, Humboldt Park, M/20
10:30a Trolley Violence Leaves One Dead
3:00p Fire at the John Hancock Center
8:30p 6200 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/29 (450)
Sunday 11/22
1:15a 1000 N Hamlin, Humboldt Park, F/40 (story)
3:10a 100 W 109th, Roseland, M/24
12:25p 7900 S Halsted, Auburn Gresham, M/42
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/21
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/22
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/34
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, F/45
2:50p 7100 S Morgan, Englewood, M/20
5:40p 2900 W 54th, Gage Park, F/19
7:35p 5400 W Race, Austin, M/35
8:00p 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/36
8:40p 5700 S Union, Englewood, M/19

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit: NBC 5 Chicago

Videotape Update

VHS TapeAs expected, the video release is a go:

Hours after a Cook County judge ordered the release of the video of a controversial Chicago police shooting, city lawyers did an abrupt about face Thursday and announced they would not oppose those efforts after all.

In a statement issued on Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s behalf, the city said it would release by next Wednesday – as the judge ordered — the video of an officer shooting 17-year-old Laquan McDonald 16 times, killing him.

“Police officers are entrusted to uphold the law and to provide safety to our residents,” the mayor’s statement said. “In this case, unfortunately, it appears an officer violated that trust at every level. As a result, the city’s Independent Police Review Authority promptly sent this case and the evidence to state and federal prosecutors who have been investigating it for almost a year.

“In accordance with the judge’s ruling, the City will release the video by November 25, which we hope will provide prosecutors time to expeditiously bring their investigation to a conclusion so Chicago can begin to heal.”

Unfortunately, it’s likely that some jagoffs will use this as an excuse to break shit because nothing says justice like looting and burning down the corner Kwik-E-Mart.

For The Children Update

Warning Revenue CameraIf the day ends with a ‘y’, there is a good chance someone is getting a ticket/fine/fee for something they didn’t do. After all, when the city/state/fed is broke, revenue extraction becomes a priority above all else. Therefore, it shouldn’t be much of surprise that many of those ‘safety violations’ are bogus:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s speed camera program improperly issued more than $2.4 million in fines to Chicago drivers, ticketing them when cameras were supposed to be off and when the required warning signs were confusing, obscured or missing, a Tribune investigation has found.

At the same time, City Hall has systematically ticketed drivers near schools without the legally required evidence of a schoolchild in sight. A Tribune random-sample analysis puts the number of those questionable tickets at about 110,000.

And while it was pitched by the mayor as a way to protect youngsters walking near parks and schools, the most prolific cameras in the 2-year-old “Children’s Safety Zone” initiative can be found along major roadways, where crash data show child pedestrians are least likely to be struck by speeders.”

Again, the idea that these cameras are for safety and are there to “protect youngsters” is ridiculous. They’re nothing more than a revenue extraction scheme wrapped in safety vest.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Porta-potty fireThe slow, upward grind towards 500 homicides and 3,000 people shot will continue until morale improves.

Final Stupidity Tally: 1 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 2 killed, 18 wounded

Friday 11/13
2:15p 800 W Buena, Uptown, M/17
5:20p 3500 W Pierce, Humboldt Park, M/43
11:50p 100 S Kostner, Garfield Park, M/18
11:50p 100 S Kostner, Garfield Park, M/23
Saturday 11/14
4:00a 5500 S Winchester, Englewood, M/24
9:35a 100 S Homan, Garfield Park, M/22
10:35a 7500 S Peoria, Auburn Gresham, M/16
12:30p 1600 W Howard, Rogers Park, M/25
6:45p 5900 W Wrightwood, Belmont Cragin, M/19
8:10p 1501 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/28
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/39
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/41
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/45
Sunday 11/15
3:50a 4100 N Drake, Irving Park, M/16
4:15a 6000 N Western, West Ridge, F/24
2:40p 5500 S Damen, Englewood, M/29
4:00p 6600 S Union, Englewood, M/20
4:00p 6600 S Union, Englewood, M/21
11:00p 100 E 100th, Roseland, M/21
Monday Overtime
12:00a 800 W Sunnyside, Uptown, M/24
1:20a 5400 S Paulina, New City, M/28

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Ammo Tax

ammoWhen looking for the ideal combination of stupid and useless, one would be hard pressed to find a better match than the Cook County Board of Commissioners. In proving their uselessness, the geniuses are looking to levy a hefty tax on ammunition (in addition to the 10.25% sales tax) because the county is broke to help fund more graft programs.

The Cook County Board of Commissioners will vote on a proposal Friday to impose a countywide tax on ammunition, a measure advocates say would curb gun violence while shoring up new revenue for the county.

Proposed by Commissioner Richard Boykin, who represents most of West Side Chicago, the tax would add an extra cent to the cost of each .22 caliber bullet and five cents apiece for larger ammo, like 9-millimeter rounds.

Boykin predicted the tax would raise about $133,000 in its first year and more than $300,000 in its second year, “deflating the cost” of gun violence to taxpayers across the county.

This will do absolutely nothing to curb gun gang violence and the predicted haul won’t come anywhere close, nor will it “deflate the cost” of anything. What will be “deflated” is the sales tax revenue that will now find itself moving towards Lake, Kane, McHenry, DuPage and Will counties, plus Indiana. As always, those locals thank Cook County for their self-inflicted stupidity.

Let’s Go To The Videotape

VHS TapeLate last fall, the city quickly, seemingly without question and to the surprise of many, paid out $5 million of taxpayer funds for a police shooting. Typically, the city only pays out after numerous court proceedings, however this incident came with a dashboard camera video. It’s now possible that the video will be made public:

“The video, without sound, is said to show Laquan McDonald, a 17-year-old African-American reportedly with PCP in his system, holding a small knife. He was shot to death by a white Chicago police officer, Jason Van Dyke, on the night of Oct. 20, 2014, at 41st and Pulaski on the Southwest Side.

City officials said police, responding to a call of a man slashing tires, followed McDonald carefully and calmly as he wandered. They called for backup and Tasers. Then McDonald walked out onto Pulaski Road.

Only one cop opened fire, shooting 16 times in all, and the video is said to show the rounds hitting McDonald in the back, the legs, arms, neck and head, the bullets making the body jump again and again.

On Nov. 19, Cook County Judge Franklin Valderrama is expected to rule whether the video should be released.”

It sounds like it checks all the politically exploitable boxes needed in order for some shit to go down – a black teenager, a white cop, some excessive force, etc… The only thing missing is a flag.

Momma Needs a NEW CAR!

New Car!Quite the power couple here:

“As the mother of slain 9-year-old Tyshawn Lee denies allegations that she spent funeral donations on a new car, the boy’s father apparently was asking for funeral money as well.

Karla Lee removed her Instagram and Facebook accounts after defending the purchase of a new car on Saturday, but some videos of her defending the car purchase remain online.

According to unverified Facebook posts Saturday, Lee posted on Facebook that she spent money from her son’s GoFundMe page on the car, then deleted her account due to overwhelming negative reaction.

Lee later told ABC7 that she used her own money for the car. The fundraiser was closed Sunday morning after raising more than $17,000.”

Imagine that. People had a negative reaction to their funeral donations being used for a new car. And not to be out done, the father took time off in helping the police find his son’s killer(s) to whip up some t-shirts:

“In another bizarre twist, Tyshawn’s father — whose gang ties police say led to his son’s execution — appears to have started another GoFundMe page seeking donations for funeral expenses. The page was quickly taken down after comments criticizing the move flooded in.”

Stay classy.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Sledgehammer Junk ShotA very warm week flows into a normal, cool fall weekend, but with two hat tricks already on the board the tone for the weekend may have been set.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 13 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 0 killed, 11 wounded

Friday 11/6
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/15
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/17
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, F/17
5:30p 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/32
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/19
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/27
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/51
9:00p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/17
10:50p 3200 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/23
Saturday 11/7
2:50a 1100 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/56
4:55a 3000 S Keeler, Little Village, M/27
1:00p 4300 S Rockwell, Brighton Park, M/16
1:00p 4300 S Rockwell, Brighton Park, M/18
6:00p 8600 S Cottage Grove, Chatham, M/24
9:30p 2200 W 59th, Gage Park, M/14
10:40p 1200 W 19th, Lower W Side, F/29
10:45p 5900 S Union, Englewood, M/43
11:20p 7300 S Morgan, Englewood, M/17
Sunday 11/8
12:30a 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/25
4:15a Dan Ryan/Roosevelt, Near West Side, F/?
6:55a 1100 S Francisco, North Lawndale, M/50
12:30p 11600 S Lowe, West Pullman, M/2
12:30p 11600 S Lowe, West Pullman, M/24
6:25p 10700 S Indiana, Roseland, F/26

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit

No Peeking

heres_johnnyRemember when Tiny’s son was beat up by his dealer beat and robbed of his phone while talking to his college counselor at 10p on a Friday night? Apparently, as a police officer you’re not allowed to look at police reports, well, certain police reports anyway:

“A routine audit several months ago found that 11 Chicago Police officers had “inappropriately accessed police reports” from a Dec. 19, 2014, robbery in Ravenswood, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in an emailed statement Thursday night.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s son Zach was robbed about 10 p.m. that night in the 4200 block of North Hermitage in the Ravenswood neighborhood.

Each of the 11 officers received one-day suspensions and formal reprimands for violating department policy, Guglielmi wrote.”

No matter. Head on over to CWBChicago and have a look at the report yourself, no one-day suspensions and formal reprimands required.

Hero to Zero

ZEROAfter a couple of days, that whole “hero cop gunned down by three thugs” meme started to smell funny.

“Upending the portrayal of Lt. Charles Joseph Gliniewicz as a hero cop tragically gunned down in the line of duty just before his planned retirement, authorities on Wednesday said the Fox Lake officer died in a suicide he staged as it became clear he could face consequences for years of criminal behavior.

At a news conference, Lake County Major Crime Task Force Cmdr. George Filenko said Gliniewicz, 52, shot himself in a “carefully staged suicide” designed to look like a murder after he had engaged in “extensive criminal acts.”

Gliniewicz ran the village’s Explorers program, which gave youths interested in policing exposure to the field, and he had been stealing and laundering money for years, Filenko said. Gliniewicz stole a dollar amount in the five figures and used the money for personal expenses, including mortgage payments, travel and adult websites, Filenko said.”

What a hero. How much taxpayer money was spent looking for ghosts? How many people had their rights violated by the massive police response that included roadblocks and door to door searches? (The type of response every individual would receive if they were murdered staged a suicide.)

Selfish jagoff.

UPDATE: Fox Lake Officer’s Wife, Son Under Criminal Investigation

UPDATE 2: Our hero “tried to arrange for a gang member “to put a hit” on a village administrator because he feared she would discover he had been embezzling money.

UPDATE 3: It just doesn’t stop with this guy: Officials probe whether Fox Lake cop, son staged sham marriage

A Good Guy With A Gun

Self Defense ZoneIt’s often said that the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun (or a bunch of laws and signs of course).

“Carolina Cabrales says she was more confused than afraid when a masked robber grabbed her 13-year-old brother, put a gun to his head and dragged him inside the family-owned currency exchange in Chicago’s Gage Park neighborhood over the weekend.

The 17-year-old said she was near the counter and immediately recognized the voice of the robber as the neighbor from around the block who worked at the store when she was little. He had even nicknamed her Junior because she looked so much like her mother.

Then suddenly there was gunfire, and the robber, Reginald Gildersleeve, lay dead from several gunshots fired by a customer who had a concealed carry license and a valid gun owner’s card, according to police and witnesses.

Police said it was unlikely that the customer will face charges.”

Good. No further commentary necessary.

Halloween Stupidity

A Rahm kind of HalloweenSecond only to St. Patrick’s Day in terms of drunken idiocy, Halloween is guaranteed to be a shitshow in one way or another.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 28 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 15 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 5 killed, 10 wounded

Friday 10/30
5:40p 2700 W Cermak, Little Village, M/30
5:45p 4400 S Marshfield, New City, M/18
6:10p 11300 S Racine, Morgan Park, M/66
7:00p 1500 N Pulaski, North Lawndale, M/31
9:30p 8100 S Throop, Auburn Gresham, M/28
10:00p 1200 S Central Park, North Lawndale, M/17
10:15p 5600 S Shields, Englewood, M/18
10:30p 3100 W Monroe, Garfield Park, F/21
12:15a 2900 S State, Douglas, M/15
12:25a 7800 S Shore, South Shore, M/43 (story)
3:10a 6700 S Parnell, Englewood, F/15
3:30a 6300 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/46
3:30a 600 N Lockwood, Austin, M/37
4:10a 11700 S Church, Morgan Park, M/31
5:15a 2100 S Oakley, Lower W Side, M/62
5:30a 3100 S Pulaski, Little Village, M/?
7:00p 2700 W 51st, Gage Park, M/55 (justified)
10:25p 5700 W Fullerton, Belmont Cragin, M/23
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/21
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/23
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/34
Sunday 11/1
1:25a 4900 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/26
8:35a 4100 W 31st, Little Village, M/23
10:45a 7000 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
10:45a 7000 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
12:35p 5000 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/23
2:35p 7600 S Parnell, Grand Crossing, M/10
4:15p 4900 S Champlain, Grand Boulevard, M/23
7:10p 8700 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, M/19
8:50p 5400 W Van Buren, Austin, M/26
Monday Overtime
1:05a 1400 N Lawndale, Humboldt Park, F/23

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Cartoon credit

Take Your Medicine

PoisonIt was quite the banner day in Chicago in terms of confiscation and giveaways. First up, “Mayor Rahm Emanuel, aldermen ask taxpayers ‘to take medicine’ to cure ‘municipal illness’“:

After weeks of discussion, debate and flat-out complaining by some, Ald. Patrick O’Connor told his colleagues it finally was time for Chicago to face up to its woeful condition. O’Connor, an alderman since 1983, said decades of financial mismanagement had brought them to the point where approving a budget stacked with $755 million in new taxes and fees was the lone remaining option.

“Nobody wants to be told you’re sick, you need to take medicine. You need chemo. You need an operation. This is an equivalent of a municipal illness,” said O’Connor, 40th. “We don’t have an option of saying, ‘No.’ We have the option of picking our choices to stay alive.”

A breakdown of the new taxes and fees shows:

  • $543MM property tax for police and fire pensions
  • $45MM property tax hike for school construction
  • $62MM in new garbage pickup fees
  • $48MM in taxi and ride-share fare and fee hikes
  • $40MM in new taxes on streaming services and cloud businesses
  • $13MM in more expensive building permit fees
  • $2MM to remove vehicle boots
  • $1MM in e-cigarette taxes

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ledger, a breakdown of accompanying cuts shows:

  • $0

We’re going to speculate that none of the above figures will be anywhere close to the actual returns and that another round of hikes will be needed to make up for the shortfall.

Speaking of shortfall, these same idiots approved the leasing of prime lakefront property (for $10) for a ‘museum’ to display a mediocre-at-best director’s toy collection:

“Star Wars” filmmaker George Lucas’ proposed 300,000-square-foot museum to house his trove of art and movie memorabilia on the shore of Lake Michigan cleared its final major city hurdle Wednesday as the Chicago City Council voting to approve zoning for the project.

City approval of the Lucas museum seemed all but ordained, given the strong support Emanuel has thrown behind the concept and the fact aldermen are loath to draw the mayor’s ire by opposing projects he has made a high priority.

This sort of fanboi crap usually works best as a temporary exhibit in LA or Vegas, not in a permanent salt pile/circus tent on the lake.

Yub nub!

(Not) Doing Hard Time

Sideshow BobFrequently mentioned within articles pertaining to an apprehended honor student(s) is not their GPA but their previous convictions. Many times the simple math of conviction date, sentence handed down and time served doesn’t add up.

This past weekend, a few jagoffs who, by applying simple math, shouldn’t be on the streets anyway, partook in some undocumented borrowing:

A man previously convicted of a separate robbery and another man on probation for narcotics charges appeared in court Monday after being charged with stabbing and robbing a tourist visiting Chicago with his girlfriend near Oak Street Beach over the weekend, police said.

The tourist, 27-year-old Neil McCarthy, chased and tackled one of the robbers after tracking down his stolen iPhone, according to police and the couple.

Judge James Brown set bail at $950,000 for Noe Mondragon, 22, who was charged with aggravated battery and armed robbery, said Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

Mondragon, of the 4100 block of South Artesian Avenue, was convicted in December 2014 of a separate robbery, records show. He was sentenced to three years in the Illinois Department of Corrections and was given 80 days credit for time already served for the 2014 conviction, records show.

Brown set a $500,000 bail for Luis Salgado-Camargo, 18, said Scaduto, who added that Salgado-Camargo also violated his probation on three pending narcotics cases.

At least the victim got the better of them.

We’re pretty sure that three years worth of days is 365 x 3 = 1,095 days which is slightly greater than 80 days.

Also, we’d be curious to know how these guys obtained such deadly weapons. Do they have KOID cards and/or concealed knife permits? Did the pass a background check? Did they take advantage of the knife show loophole?

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Dumpster Fire

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 28 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 35 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 3 killed, 14 wounded

Friday Pre-game
8:00a 1400 W 85th, Auburn Gresham, M/28
9:05a 5000 W Le Moyne, Austin, M/28
11:00a 12000 S Perry, West Pullman, M/24
Friday 10/23
3:00p 5100 N Austin, Jefferson Park, M/17
4:10p 1400 W 107th, Washington Heights, M/20
4:10p 1400 W 107th, Washington Heights, M/23
8:45p 5300 W North, Austin, M/43
9:15p 7500 S Stewart, Grand Crossing, M/16
11:40p 7100 N Sheridan, Rogers Park, M/22
Saturday 10/24
12:30a 2500 S Harding, Little Village, F/45
1:10a 7100 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/23
2:45a 100 N Waller, Austin, M/40
3:55a 2400 S St. Louis, Little Village, M/48
4:30a 200 S Kilbourn, Garfield Park, M/35
6:15a Undocumented borrowing in Lincoln Park
3:30p 6500 S Maryland, Woodlawn, M/27
4:50p 5300 S Union, New City, M/23
6:15p 11700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, M/40
9:00p 10900 S Mackinaw, East Side, F/26
9:05p 200 E 47th, Grand Boulevard, M/17
10:15p 900 N Leclaire, Austin, M/28
11:45p Late night beachside misunderstanding
11:55p 9100 S Harvard, Roseland, M/59 (SiTA)
Sunday 10/25
12:40a 6000 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, M/37
2:45a 4500 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/26
2:50a 200 N Saint Louis, Garfield Park, M/21
11:20a 6300 S King, Grand Crossing, F/22
2:50p 6800 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, F/15
2:50p 6800 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/20
4:15p 4700 S Calumet, Grand Boulevard, M/20
6:25p 2000 E 75th, South Shore, M/48
7:00p 2200 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/22
7:00p 2200 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/27
7:10p 5200 S Homan, Gage Park, M/20
7:30p 800 E 82nd, Chatham, M/16
8:45p 5900 W Superior, Austin, F/24
11:40p 2100 W Adams, Near West Side, M/24
Monday Overtime
12:35a 1600 N Francisco, West Town, M/18
1:30a 4800 W Madison, Austin, M/29
2:15a 5100 S Michigan, Washington Park, F/89

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Wait ‘Til Next Year

L Flag Well, crap. It was a hell of a run and at least we beat those jagoffs from St. Louis. We’ll now return to ignoring baseball for the next 11 months.

Update: Steve Bartman: ‘You Must Kill Me To Break The Cubs’ Curse’

Money Well Spent

Super SoakerChicago is broke. Illinois is broke. But that’s not a reason to stop a feel good, yet completely useless rusty metal recycling program:

Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced a new city fund Monday aimed at allowing community organizations to host gun buy-back events in Chicago.

The $250,000 fund allows churches and community-based organizations to host their own gun buy-back events, with the assistance of Chicago police staff.

Organizations can apply to host an event through the police department and will be responsible for organizing and advertising the events. Residents that bring in guns will be given cash cards in return – no questions asked.

While the move is another attempt at curbing the gun violence that has plagued Chicago over the years, questions still remain as to whether or not gun buy-back events are effective.

A 2004 report by the U.S. Department of Justice states that “guns recovered through buybacks and turn-in campaigns are the least likely to have been involved in crime.”


Every single time one of these events are held, nearly all the weapons that are turned in are old, rusty and broken. $100 for a non-functional, busted up p.o.s. is a much better deal than just throwing it out.

Better yet, donate your worthless lead delivery device and send some kids to camp.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

George Costanza shirkageWith forecasted low temps pushing freezing and highs only in the low 50s, we were expecting “significant shrinkage” amongst the usage of undocumented lead delivery devices and those they control. However, we didn’t end up getting much shrinkage at all.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 22 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 0 killed, 8 wounded

Friday Pre-game
7:30a 6000 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/31 (story)
Friday 10/16
6:00p 2000 E 75th, South Shore, M/19 (#selfie)
8:30p 11500 S Elizabeth, West Pullman, M/19
Saturday 10/17
12:20a 3800 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/27 (#selfie)
3:05a 200 E 118th, West Pullman, M/27
4:30a 1600 N Humboldt, Humboldt Park, M/30
4:40a 3300 W Warren, Garfield Park, M/24
4:55a 3800 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/21
5:00a 300 N Cicero, Austin, M/23
2:30p 8500 S Pulaski, Ashburn, M/40
8:40p 6400 S Ellis, Woodlawn, M/35
8:45p 3300 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/26
9:00p 100 E 53rd, Washington Park, M/22
9:00p 1000 N Francisco, West Town, M/3 (story)
9:15p 5500 W Altgeld, Belmont Cragin, M/36
10:10p 7958 S Lafyette, Chatham, M/38
Sunday 10/18
2:00a 10600 S Prairie, Roseland, M/22 (photos)
2:00a 10600 S Prairie, Roseland, M/19
2:55a Wrigley Field Cam Brawl (story)
3:00p 6700 S Bell, Chicago Lawn, M/40
4:25p 7800 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, F/19
4:25p 7800 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, M/20
5:50p 2500 N Kilbourn, Hermosa, M/18
5:50p 2500 N Kilbourn, Hermosa, M/17
11:55p 3500 E 97th, East Side, M/32

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Lincoln Park Stupidity

We linked to this event in our Weekend Stupidity breakdown, but it’s just too dumb for it to not have its own post. Watch and marvel at how an undocumented lead delivery device not only convinces this woman to pull its trigger but also likely made her drink to excess and become belligerent with others around her.

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Harry Caray and Hillary ClintonHello again everybody! It’s beautiful weekend for baseball (and stupidity). Go Cubs!

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 18 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 1 killed, 8 wounded

Friday Pre-game
10:30a 4100 W End Ave, Garfield Park, M/23
11:15a 9300 S Ashland, Washington Heights, M/23
Friday 10/9
12:35p 2900 E 126th, South Deering, M/62 (story)
12:45p 4900 W Congress, Austin, M/15 (story)
Cubs 0 Cardinals 4
11:00p 5300 S Artesian, Gage Park, M/19
Saturday 10/10
12:30a 9500 S Green, Washington Heights, F/16
2:10a Lincoln Park Stupidity Caught on Video
3:10a 2100 W Cullerton, Lower W Side, M/19
3:20a 1100 N Lawler, Austin, M/33
4:10a 3900 W Ferdinand, Humboldt Park, M/17

Cubs 6 Cardinals 3
10:55p 7900 S Lowe, Auburn Gresham, M/30
11:10p 600 E 133rd, Riverdale, M/20
Sunday 10/11
12:55a 7900 S Yates, South Chicago, M/48
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/21 (party foul)
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/22
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/22
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/35
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/40
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/24
5:00a 5100 W Chicago, Austin, M/31
Bears Won Again!?
4:25p 1000 W 105th, Washington Heights, M/18
5:00p 1000 E 73rd, Grand Crossing, F/24
7:40p 215 N Laramie, Austin, M/22
11:55p 2500 W 68th, Chicago Lawn, M/30
Monday Overtime
3:05 AM 500 S Paulina, Near West Side, M/35

death investigation
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Market Maker Follies

FacepalmShocking! Create a black market and black market types things occur:

An alderman is warning that the sale of so-called “loosies” — single cigarettes — on the street has the potential of sparking gang wars in the city.

At a City Hall budget hearing Tuesday, Ald. Walter Burnett Jr. (27th) warned of gangs having turf battles over who was entitled to sell loose, untaxed cigarette on various street corners.

“You’re gonna have a gang war over loose cigarettes,” Burnett said. It’s one of those things we need to pay attention to or somebody’s gonna get hurt.”

Duh! Really?

Wally helps create a black market by raising taxes on a legal product in the name of health care and the children (of course). But when some undesirables see dollar signs and take advantage of the situation, the market makers seem surprised with the outcome.

Plus, isn’t selling “loosies” one of those “quality of life” crimes that these same aldermen were just complaining to GMath about the other day? When the cops enforce the ordinance, they bitch, when they don’t enforce the ordinance, they bitch some more. Quite the confounding situation.

Stand By Your Man

Stand by your manFollowing yesterday’s Aldermanic proclamation that GMath has got to go since he personally has shot, killed, beaten and robbed everyone in Chicago since arriving, Tiny has declared that he will stand by his man:

“Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy got a vote of confidence Tuesday from Mayor Rahm Emanuel before facing a barrage of criticism at a City Council budget hearing from black aldermen who just a day ago called for his firing.

McCarthy’s annual afternoon in the hot seat in council chambers Tuesday took on an added element of drama after 15 of the 18 African-American aldermen said Monday that he had failed to address violence in their wards and to increase diversity in the upper ranks of the department, and urged Emanuel to replace him.

“I’m standing by him,” Emanuel said after appearing with McCarthy at a police awards ceremony in the City Council chambers that was attended by a dozen aldermen but none of the ones who called for his firing.

“My focus — and I want everyone’s focus — is on gangs and guns, not on Garry.”

We have a new slogan: Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry!

Wait a second, that doesn’t sound right.


GoatSomething isn’t adding up. On one hand we’re told shootings and homicides are up when compared to last year, but on the other hand we’re told that crime is down 30% and the city has never been safer. If the later is true, then what’s all the hubbub about?

First up, the good reverend is upset he can’t shakedown gun makers and places the blame for all the nation’s ills at the feet of some handheld devices that don’t have feet but operated by those that do:

“We believe a national state of emergency should be declared, banning people from carrying guns outside of their homes (hunters and law enforcement excepted),” the Rainbow PUSH Coalition said in a statement. “Parents who own guns must be held accountable for gun violence their children cause with their weapons. Gun trafficking should be made a felony and other gun laws strengthened and the penalties for violating them made better.”

Blowing up that statement should be easy for anyone with a basic understanding of the law, especially in Chicago. Rev also neglects to mention the 50-60 years of low level urban warfare that has been waged by a small percentage of neighborhood jagoffs despite all of the above always being illegal.

Next up, said neighborhood jagoffs’ aldermen want GMath out:

The City Council Black Caucus called Monday for the firing of Police Supt. Garry McCarthy.

“Supt. McCarthy’s leadership has failed our communities, and it is time for a substantial change,” said Ald. Roderick Sawyer (6th), caucus chairman. “It is clear that the current approach has been ineffective.”

“My constituents get sick and tired of hearing about statistics, and no action,” said Ald. Carrie Austin (34th).

“What’s going on today is not working,” added Ald. Jason Ervin (28th), who said the department had grown lax in prosecuting non-violent crime including drug dealing.

We’ve been critical of GMath and his “crime is down” and “it’s not the weather” nonsense, however he nor the CPD are the ones shooting, killing, robbing, beating, etc… in these wards. When the ward collectively doesn’t see shit or “heard shots, felt pain” or is “uncooperative”, and prosecutors and judges operate a rotating door criminal justice system, how are the cops supposed to do much of anything other than catch and release?


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Women Chicago police officersAfter running up the score with two consecutive 50+ shot weekends (here & here), it’s time to hit the range and a get ready for more optimal conditions in a few days. In the meantime, weather police strategies will cause common sense lacking lead delivery devices to maim the politically un-exploitable at a much slower rate (quietest weekend since last March).

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 13 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 32 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 4 killed, 13 wounded

Friday 10/2
10:10p 900 W 87th, Auburn Gresham, M/15
Saturday 10/3
3:00a 5600 N Broadway, Edgewater, M/41
8:00a 2800 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/29
12:05p 800 N Lawndale, Humboldt Park, M/20
5:00p 7500 S Kenwood, South Shore, M/29
5:00p 7500 S Kenwood, South Shore, M/20
Sunday 10/4
12:35a 5300 S Sacramento, Gage Park, M/21
3:45a 8400 S Komensky, Ashburn, M/27
8:30a 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/31 (story)
8:30a 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/?
11:45a 6400 S Honore, Englewood, F/14
3:15p 3100 S Princeton, Armour Square, M/15
8:00p 6800 S Loomis Englewood, M/?
8:35a 6400 S Hoyne, Englewood, F/21
8:40p 4500 S Troy, Brighton Park, M/16
8:55p 7300 S Kedzie, Chicago Lawn, F/55

police involved homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

Numbers Game

34452 With what will likely be the coolest weekend since early May, we thought we’d defer our usual weekend Stupidity Tally (of politically-un-exploitable-victims maimed or killed by non-common-sense-affiliated-devices) for a little bit and play a little game.

Whoever can tell us what this number represents will receive one of our few remaining t-shirts.* The closest and most detailed answer wins.

ANSWER: The number of homicides tallied in Chicago from October 1, 1965 – September 30, 2015, or 50 years worth.

WINNER: Messenger

Thanks to everyone who took a guess. You guys are a creative bunch. -WHT

September’s 61+

Roger Maris No 61Wow. What a shitshow September ended up being. 60+ homicides makes this September the deadliest since 2002. 362 total shot is a recent record as well. A few pending “death investigations” plus a late passing or two will only add to the shittiness.

Speaking of shitty, our September prediction couldn’t have been more wrong: “…we’ll predict a total of 45 (+/-4) homicides plus another 260 (+/-10) shot and wounded.” Way outside.

Final Stupidity Tally: 62 killed, 303 wounded
Last September’s Tally: 46 dead, 211 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 59 shot & killed
  • 3 killed via other means
  • 9 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 2 police-involved shootings (1 killed)
  • 48 in serious or critical condition
  • 55 males killed, 6 females
  • 81 teenagers shot, 10 killed
  • 22 grazed
  • 1 selfie
  • 21 #ShotInTheAss
  • CPD’s 11th District (west side) most active w/ 8 killed & 38 wounded

Last year, it was October when the level of stupidity started to pick up and exceed the previous year with 38 homicides and 215 shot and wounded. If October exceeds expectations like every other month so far this year, 500 homicides and 3,000 shot will be within scope. We’ll predict a total of 44 (+/-4) homicides plus another 250 (+/-10) shot and wounded.

Update: September’s 62nd homicide was a delayed call due to a burning car issue that has since been resolved.

Again With The “Values”

Picard facepalmOur tagline of “Illustrating Chicago Values” came from the infamous Chick-fil-a kerfuffle of 2012 when Tiny declared that the company did not represent “Chicago values”. To this day, we’re not really sure what those values are supposed to be or who among us holds them.

Fast-forwarding to the present day, in light of the mass-to-back shootings on Monday, Tiny rewound the tape and pressed play on some well worn statements:

“You can say this happened in the neighborhood of the Back of the Yards, but everybody (who) woke up this morning, or heard it last night, felt a pain of anguish, and it’s time that our criminal justice system and the laws as it relates to access to guns and the penalties for using ’em reflect the values of the people of the city of Chicago,” Emanuel said.

What does that mean?

We’re going to go out on a limb here and assume that the shooters broke numerous laws that are already on the books, including, but not limited to, aggravated battery and murder. We’ll also go further out on the limb and speculate that the shooters have lengthy rap sheets who are no strangers to the aforementioned criminal justice system. And even further and speculate that the intended targets weren’t strangers either.

Additional laws will not make a difference, but maybe enforcing the ones that are already in place will.