HeyJackass! http://heyjackass.com Illustrating Chicago Values Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:51:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Totals http://heyjackass.com/totals/ http://heyjackass.com/totals/#comments Tue, 01 Jan 2013 21:56:18 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=20 February To Date
Shot & Killed: 15
Shot & Wounded: 59
Total Shot: 74
Total Homicides: 19

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Last Month Totals http://heyjackass.com/last-month-totals/ http://heyjackass.com/last-month-totals/#comments Wed, 03 Jul 2013 12:34:48 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=2153 February 2014 Totals
Shot & Killed: 18
Shot & Wounded: 54
Total Shot: 72
Total Homicides: 22

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2013 Year to Date Totals http://heyjackass.com/year-to-date-totals/ http://heyjackass.com/year-to-date-totals/#comments Wed, 01 May 2013 20:50:02 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=1255 Final 2013 Totals
Shot & Killed: 375
Shot & Wounded: 1810
Total Shot: 2185
Total Homicides: 455

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2014 Year To Date Totals http://heyjackass.com/2014-year-to-date-totals/ http://heyjackass.com/2014-year-to-date-totals/#comments Sun, 09 Feb 2014 14:35:37 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=4968 Final 2014 Totals
Shot & Killed: 388
Shot & Wounded: 2231
Total Shot: 2619
Total Homicides: 456

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2015 Year To Date Totals http://heyjackass.com/2015-year-to-date-totals/ http://heyjackass.com/2015-year-to-date-totals/#comments Sun, 04 Jan 2015 17:35:33 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9397 Year To Date
Shot & Killed: 44
Shot & Wounded: 179
Total Shot: 223
Total Homicides: 51

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2012: Totals http://heyjackass.com/final-2012-total/ http://heyjackass.com/final-2012-total/#comments Mon, 28 Jan 2013 04:55:10 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=222 Final 2012 Totals
Shot & Killed: 441
Total Homicides*: 514

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2014 Shot Placement http://heyjackass.com/shot-placement-2014/ http://heyjackass.com/shot-placement-2014/#comments Sun, 12 Jan 2014 04:24:42 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=4651 ]]>
Placement
Killed
Wounded
leg1559 back40214 chest90139 head13689 arm205 abdomen33134 ass1154 thigh1114 foot104 shoulder180 face1563 hand75 ankle47 neck832 side532 other2105 As of 1/1/15 ]]>
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2014 Shooting & Homicide Trend http://heyjackass.com/2014-shooting-homicide-trend/ http://heyjackass.com/2014-shooting-homicide-trend/#comments Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:15:36 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9356 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/2014-shooting-homicide-trend/feed/ 0 30 Day Stupidity Trend http://heyjackass.com/shootings/ http://heyjackass.com/shootings/#comments Sun, 27 Jan 2013 02:31:44 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=174 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/shootings/feed/ 0 Enlightening Commentary http://heyjackass.com/enlightening-commentary/ http://heyjackass.com/enlightening-commentary/#comments Thu, 01 May 2014 23:56:18 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/wordpress/?p=1

Clout Bitches! v2.0

Machine Alderman Ed BurkeNot even a month ago, we brought you the story of an old machine hack who magically gets his street plowed (multiple times) before everyone else. Of course, our betters frantically waved their hands in apparent horror and said there would be an investigation. Now after the latest snowfall event, the same thing happened again:

“A Chicago Sun-Times reporter visited the 14th Ward block Thursday morning where Burke and his wife, Illinois State Supreme Court Justice Anne Burke, live in a 5,600-square-foot, three-story home and found Burke’s street completely clean and salted by 9 a.m.

The pavement of nearby side streets was visible only where tires had left ruts.

But when asked Thursday about the status of the administration’s inquiry, Streets and Sanitation spokeswoman Molly Poppe said the matter had been taken up by Inspector General Joseph Ferguson.”

Deflect and PUNT!!!

“Any favoritism during snow-removal operations is simply unacceptable,” Poppe said Thursday. “The I.G. is currently looking into this matter, and while we can’t comment further since the investigation is ongoing, we look forward to receiving the I.G.’s report.”

Hahahahaha, right, sure. Expect said investigation to release their findings on a hot summer Friday afternoon, preferably right before a holiday weekend, like say, the 4th of July.

3 Comments  |  View all Enlightening Commentary http://heyjackass.com/enlightening-commentary/feed/ 4
Shot Placement http://heyjackass.com/2015-shot-placement/ http://heyjackass.com/2015-shot-placement/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2015 03:34:22 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9402 ]]>
Placement
Killed
Wounded
chest117 head116 back619 side34 abdomen29 face28 neck25 hip13 leg47 arm13 All others47 As of 2/26/15 ]]>
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2013 Shot Placement http://heyjackass.com/shot-placement/ http://heyjackass.com/shot-placement/#comments Wed, 02 Oct 2013 03:05:51 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=1069 ]]>
Neighborhood
Shootings
%
Englewood21011.2% Austin1226.5% Garfield Park955.1% Grand Crossing945.0% West Pullman794.2% South Shore754.0% All Others101463.9% As of 12/31/13 ]]>
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Chicago Shot Clock http://heyjackass.com/2015-chicago-shot-clock/ http://heyjackass.com/2015-chicago-shot-clock/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2015 03:42:38 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9518 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/2015-chicago-shot-clock/feed/ 0 2014 Chicago Shot Clock http://heyjackass.com/chicago-shot-clock/ http://heyjackass.com/chicago-shot-clock/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 22:18:48 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=7493 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/chicago-shot-clock/feed/ 0 Deadliest ‘hoods http://heyjackass.com/2015-deadliest-hoods/ http://heyjackass.com/2015-deadliest-hoods/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2015 03:36:53 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9405 ]]>
Neighborhood
Homicides
Wounded
Total
Englewood52126 Garfield Park21921 Austin41418 New City21517 Roseland6511 Ashburn369 North Lawndale459 Woodlawn88 South Chicago358 Humboldt Park167 Chicago Lawn246 Little Village156 Belmont Cragin145 Grand Boulevard325 Grand Crossing55 All Others145367 As of 2/26/15 ]]>
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Previous Years Mobile Banner 320×100 http://heyjackass.com/previous-years-mobile/ http://heyjackass.com/previous-years-mobile/#comments Wed, 21 Jan 2015 16:39:38 +0000 http://heyjackass.com/?p=9685 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/previous-years-mobile/feed/ 0 2014 Deadliest ‘hoods http://heyjackass.com/deadliest-hoods/ http://heyjackass.com/deadliest-hoods/#comments Sun, 12 Jan 2014 04:25:21 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=4653 ]]>
Neighborhood
Homicides
Wounded
Total
Englewood49259308 Austin36175211 Garfield Park33138171 Humboldt Park25109134 South Shore1695111 Auburn Gresham188199 South Chicago158095 Roseland128193 Grand Crossing98392 North Lawndale117586 New City156681 West Pullman77077 Chicago Lawn204767 Washington Heights66167 Chatham184664 All Others166765931 As of 1/1/15 ]]>
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2013 Deadliest ‘hoods http://heyjackass.com/deadliest-neighborhoods/ http://heyjackass.com/deadliest-neighborhoods/#comments Wed, 02 Oct 2013 02:25:09 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=264 ]]>
Neighborhood
Homicides
%
Englewood4710.5% South Shore317.0% Austin306.7% Garfield Park276.1% West Pullman214.7% Auburn Gresham204.5% North Lawndale194.3% Roseland184.0% Humboldt Park173.8% New City153.4% Grand Crossing143.1% South Chicago122.7% All Others17739.2% Final 2013 ]]>
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2012: Deadliest ‘hoods http://heyjackass.com/final-2012-most-violent-neighborhoods/ http://heyjackass.com/final-2012-most-violent-neighborhoods/#comments Mon, 28 Jan 2013 05:38:33 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=239
Neighborhood
Homicides
%
Englewood407.8% Austin377.2% New City244.7% Grand Crossing234.5% Chicago Lawn224.3% Woodlawn214.1% South Shore193.7% Garfield Park193.7% North Lawndale183.5% Roseland183.5% Humboldt Park173.3% Auburn Gresham163.1% Near West Side163.1% South Chicago142.7% All Others21040.9% ]]>
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2014 Homicide Tally http://heyjackass.com/murder-trend-to-date-2014/ http://heyjackass.com/murder-trend-to-date-2014/#comments Sun, 12 Jan 2014 04:19:36 +0000 http://www.heyjackass.com/?p=4666 ]]> ]]> http://heyjackass.com/murder-trend-to-date-2014/feed/ 0