Enlightening Commentary

August Wrap-up

Posted on September 1, 2016

CarnacWell… that was a shitshow. Even our generous prediction fell shorter than a Jay Cutler interception, “We’re not going to go as far as to predict a repeat of August 1991’s 122 homicides, we will however predict another 70 homicides plus another 425 shot and wounded.”

Final Stupidity Tally: 95 killed, 398 wounded
August 2015: 56 dead, 307 wounded
August 2014: 54 dead, 250 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 81 shot & killed
  • 4 stabbed
  • 4 arson related
  • 2 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 3 police-involved shootings, 0 fatal
  • 68 in serious or critical condition
  • 80 males killed vs 8 females
  • 91 teenagers shot, 11 killed
  • 28 grazed
  • 3 selfies
  • 19 #ShotInTheAss

Looking ahead, September means back to “school” and a time to settle old scores. Last September posted a 2015 high of 63 homicides with an additional 303 shot and wounded. Given the trend has been 70+, we’ll predict 75 homicides plus another 400 shot and wounded with the 500th homicide being tallied over Labor Day weekend.