We Now Join The Stupidity…

Posted on Saturday, November 22nd, 2014

3 StoogesIt now looks as if they will be no grand jury decision this weekend and therefore no reason to form drum circles and fill out college applications. As such, we’ll join the stupidity already in progress…

Stupidity Tally as of 5:00p: 3 killed, 9 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 2 killed, 14 wounded

Friday 11/21
9:05p 5200 S Cornell Ave, Hyde Park, M/24
11:30p 200 N Mason Ave, Austin, M/24

Saturday 11/22
2:50a 8000 S Fairfield Ave, Ashburn, M/23
2:50a 8000 S Fairfield Ave, Ashburn, M/23
2:15a Somewhere not in Lakeview, M/?
3:00a 3100 E 82nd St, South Chicago, M/33
3:15a 10400 S Avenue J, East Side, M/35
3:50a I57/99th St, Washington Heights, M/27
11:25a 6900 S Artesian Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/15
11:25a 6900 S Artesian Ave, Chicago Lawn, F/15
1:20p 6900 S Justine St, Englewood, F/26
1:20p 6900 S Justine St,Englewood, F/58

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

No Comments

Guessing Game

Posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

CarnacAs all eyes are focused on the Ferguson grand jury announcement, Chicago’s honor students keep on shooting and killing one another and no one gives a shit. Since there is not a politically exploitable killer/victim combination at play here, it’ll be simply be ignored.

Anyway, while we wait for the decision and the likely ensuing shitshow (in the name of justice of course), what are your predictions dear reader? No indictment and riots or an indictment with drum circles, peace and love? “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” or “Pants Up, Don’t Loot”? Will local honor students ‘shoot’ for some extra credit? The CPD certainly thinks they will do so.

What say you?

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who has commented thus far. We’re going to keep this post open until the decision is announced and the drum circles take shape. Unless there’s a major non-Ferguson related shitshow, there will be no Stupidity Tracker this weekend.

28 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Sunday, November 16th, 2014

3 StoogesDamn it! We had planned on taking the weekend off and not doing our usual Stupidity Tally tracking… but… after a 48 hour run of no shootings or homicides, various assholes and jagoffs made up for lost time on Saturday and into Sunday.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 1 killed, 18 wounded

Friday 11/14
A No Hitter! First since 5/23.
Saturday 11/15
2:15p 700 N Hamlin Ave, Humboldt Park, M/22
6:00p 6600 S Marshfield Ave, Englewood, M/44
6:50p 3700 W Potomac Ave, Humboldt Park, F/33
9:00p Santa sets a car on fire
9:30p CPD shots fired, missed, PO hurt
9:55p 5700 S Marshfield Ave, Englewood, M/14
9:55p 5700 S Marshfield Ave, Englewood, M/16
10:45p 7300 S Stony Island Ave, South Shore, M/17
11:50p 3900 W Armitage Ave, Hermosa, M/18
Sunday 11/16
12:10a 5900 S Lafayette Ave, Washington Park, M/21
12:20a 7600 S Union Ave Auburn Gresham, M/24
1:00a 3600 W North Ave, Humboldt Park, M/16
2:15a 7600 S Dobson Ave Grand Crossing, F/18
2:30a 3600 W 56th St, West Elsdon, M/24
3:15a 800 S Oakley Blvd, Near W. Side, M/24
3:15a 800 S Oakley Blvd, Near W. Side, M/33
3:15a 800 S Oakley Blvd, Near W. Side, M/26
3:15a 400 W Evergreen Ave, Near North Side, M/27
4:25a 1700 W 47th St, New City, M/17
4:25a 1700 W 47th St, New City, M/20
4:30a 7400 S Greenwood Ave, Grand Crossing, M/23
3:30p 7100 S Carpenter St, Englewood, M/15
5:00p 11700 S Racine Ave, West Pullman, M/30

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

21 Comments

Chicago’s Real-Life ‘Nightcrawler’

Posted on Friday, November 14th, 2014

Chicago's Real Life NightcrawlerFriend of the site, SpotNews, is the subject of an excellent write-up over at the Daily Beast:

“While Jake Gyllenhall’s character in Nightcrawler rides the line between reporting and crime, a Chicago photographer takes his work to the next level, sometimes angering friends and family of the victims he finds. Chicago’s foremost crime reporter is a ghost. A nameless, faceless entity known to his followers as Spot News, the handle of his Twitter and Instagram accounts. At crime scenes in Chicago over a busy Fourth of July weekend, several people asked if I was him. “I’m a big fan,” one woman told me.”

As they say, read the whole thing and if you’re not already be sure to follow SpotNews on Twitter and Instagram. While you’re at it, be sure to follow @Chicago_Scanner, @PeterNickeas, @EricTendian and @chrissmith for all your crime, murder and mayhem stupidity.

6 Comments

Wicker Park Stroller Gang

Posted on Thursday, November 13th, 2014


There’s a lot of stupidity that takes place on a daily basis within the cozy confines of Chicago’s city limits. However, for whatever reason, this “Stroller Gang” story made the rounds as if it was the “Crime of the Century” (in HD):

“Surveillance video captured a group of “brazen” thieves stealing tip jar money and a $700 bike from a Wicker Park pizzeria over the weekend.

The footage shows a group of three young men and two young women with a baby in a stroller entering the pizzeria at 1252 N. Damen Ave. just before noon Saturday.

After ordering one slice of pizza, one woman grabs $10 out of the tip jar when the cashier’s back is turned.”

Who the hell cares? This shit happens all day, every day, all over the city. But wait… it gets even stupider:

“After leaving the restaurant, a young boy scaled a 10-foot high, locked fence to nab cook Aaron Johnson’s $700 bicycle from an area next to the building.”

And to bring it all home:

“This is my sixth bike that’s been stolen in the city,” he said.

Good lord. Buy a fucking lock. This isn’t news, it’s downright idiocy by all parties involved.

3 Comments

Another Cop Shot

Posted on Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

Chicago Police BadgeIt’s been a rough month or so for the CPD, a total of 6 officers have been shot – 2 on-duty, 3 off-duty and 1 selfie. Last night the 6th of the 6 was shot in a domestic incident:

“An off-duty Chicago police officer was in critical but stable condition Wednesday morning after she and her daughter were shot at the daughter’s South Side home, authorities said.

The officer, who works in the narcotics unit, was with her daughter and grandchild when they encountered the child’s father at the home in the 2200 block of East 68th Street around 10 p.m. Tuesday, sources said.

The father opened fire and shot the officer, wounding her in the face, neck and both arms, police said. The officer’s daughter was hit in the thigh, police said. The father fled with the child in a black Impala with tinted windows, according to police.

He was later located near the Cabrini-Green housing development and arrested, sources said. A gun was recovered, one source said.”

Not good. Not good at all. Hopefully she’ll pull through.

2 Comments

Happy Veterans Day

Posted on Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

us-flag“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.” – George S. Patton.

In other news, apparently Chicago is a lousy place for vets to call home:

“With more than 20 million military veterans living in the U.S., according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, where are some of the best places for them to live? A new study shows it isn’t Chicago.

The study, from WalletHub, looked at 19 different metrics to rank the 100 most populated cities. To come up with the rankings, WalletHub looked at things such as the percentage of military skill-related jobs, veteran unemployment rate, number of VA facilities per veteran population and veteran population.

Taking all of the data into account, Chicago only finished ahead of Newark, N.J. In the economic wellness category, Chicago came in 95th and was slightly better in the “Environment, Education & Health” category (91st).”

In your face Newark! You suck!

5 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, November 7th, 2014

3 StoogesAhead of the return of Officer P. Vortex next week, it’s likely that the honor students will attempt to get their shots in before she arrives and she makes it too difficult to earn extra credit.

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 14 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 0 killed, 11 wounded

Friday 11/7
12:15p 3700 W Ohio St, Humboldt Park, M/27
2:25p 8400 S Exchange Ave, South Chicago, M/18
7:45p 1800 E 95th St, South Deering, M/25
9:15p 7100 S Ada St, Englewood, M/18
9:55p 6500 N Seeley Ave, West Ridge, M/3 (story)
10:45p 10400 S Bensley Ave, South Deering, M/15
Saturday 11/8
1:40a 2400 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/25 !
3:00a 5800 S Ada St, Englewood, M/19
5:50a 4900 W Fulton St, Austin, M/40
10:20a 5600 S Ashland Ave, Englewood, M/17
2:00p 10022 S Halsted St, Washington Heights, M/?
5:10p 800 E 87th Pl, Chatham, M/18
7:30p 1600 N Tripp Ave, Humboldt Park, M/21
10:55p 400 N Laramie Ave, Austin, M/19 !
11:45p 800 N Latrobe Ave, Austin, M/28
Sunday 11/9
2:20a 800 N Orleans St, Near North Side, M/29
4:30a 12200 S Halsted St, West Pullman, M/33
4:30a 1600 N Elston Ave, West Town, M/23
2:20p 2800 N Lotus, Belmont-Cragin, M/44 (story)
Bears slaughtered by the Packers
Monday Overtime
12:15a 2100 N Merrimac, Belmont-Cragin, M/26 (story)
12:25a 5400 N East River Rd, O’Hare, M/31 (story)

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

11 Comments

Honor Student of the Week

Posted on Thursday, November 6th, 2014

Lil Durk - A rapper or somethingThis week’s award goes to someone special, Lil Durk, who claims to be a rapper or something.

“Chicago rapper Lil Durk is due in court Thursday charged with weapons violations, just months after pleading guilty to gun charges and vowing never to appear in a courtroom again.

Lil Durk, 22, whose real name is Durk Banks, was arrested after Chicago gang officers went to a home in Orland Hills about 5 a.m. Wednesday while investigating a homicide, according to the arrest report.

A woman who answered the door let them in, and the officers saw Banks standing in the living room near a kitchen island where there were two guns in plain sight, the report said.

“I got those pipes (guns) ’cause (expletive) always be tryin’ to take my bands (money),” Banks said, according to the police report.

Police seized a Glock .45-caliber handgun with a magazine and 11 live rounds and a Springfield .45-caliber handgun with a magazine and 13 live rounds, the police report said. It was not clear if there were rounds in the chambers of the guns.”

Given Durk’s prior convictions for the same crap, he’ll be back on the streets and cutting shitty mix tapes in no time.

7 Comments

The Day After

Posted on Wednesday, November 5th, 2014

Train WreckNationally, the Ds got their ass handed to them last night. Locally, the big news is Rauner beat Quinn, 51-46, which is good enough to exceed the usual amount of Chicagoland fraud. At least Quinn can say he didn’t leave in cuffs headed to a federal prison, yet.

Illinois is a mess and maybe Bruce can help turn things around, but…

“Even before Bruce Rauner declared victory in the race for governor Tuesday night, he understood the most important thing: He’ll have to deal with the little guy who runs things.

Boss Madigan.

He’s controlled Illinois for decade after decade after decade. House Speaker Michael J. Madigan is chairman of the Illinois Democratic Party, meaning that the all that national and local political money flows through him.”

When 41 out of 118 State House seats ran uncontested Democrats, it’s no wonder why Madigan has the majority he does.

Next up, the mayoral circus in February.

1 Comment

Voter Guide

Posted on Monday, November 3rd, 2014

Stantis-Madigan-Rex-1005-e1412562593844Since no candidate bothered to pay us under the table for our coveted endorsement, we’re gonna make it easy:

  • vote against the incumbent
  • vote NO for all judges
  • write-in “Bill Thompson” for the unopposed not an option apparently
  • vote NO on the proposed “assault weapons” ban

Beyond those pointers, it’s likely that your vote will be cancelled out by some vote fraud elsewhere. Therefore, be sure to vote a few times just in case.

UPDATE: 22 uncontested races where the only choice was to vote for the entrenched Democrat, no write-in offered.

7 Comments

Halloween Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 31st, 2014

decide-whether-sluttyHoliday weekends in Chicago seem to bring out the best in people, and by best we mean worst, and by worst we mean your typical booze/pot-infused stupidity and by people we mean honor students. At least the weather will be shittier than last weekend.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 15 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 5 killed, 12 wounded

Friday 10/31
7:00P 1905 W 64th St, Englewood, M/19
7:10p 5200 W Madison St, Austin, M/45 (story)
7:20p 9100 S Green St, Washington Heights, M/18
Saturday 11/1
2:15a 5900 W Walton St, Austin, F/37
4:40a 3500 W Diversey Ave, Avondale, M/19
7:00p 6700 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/18
7:00p 6700 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/19
8:00p 1200 S Albany Ave, North Lawndale, M/23
8:15p 5800 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/33 (story)
Sunday 11/2
12:30a 3300 W Beach Ave, Humboldt Park, M/21
4:45a 1500 W 72nd Pl, Englewood, M/29
9:30a 11800 S Eggleston Ave, West Pullman, M/17 !
9:30a 11800 S Eggleston Ave, West Pullman, M/19 !
2:20p 1400 W 72nd Pl, Englewood, M/21
4:20p 7000 S Harper Ave, South Shore, M/24 !
4:25p 5600 W LeMoyne St, Austin, M/16
Monday Overtime
12:10a 1200 W Randolph St, Near W. Side, M/28
12:20a 3000 E Cheltenham Pl, South Shore, M/46
5:10a 1600 N Hamlin Ave, Humboldt Park, M/18

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

6 Comments

Transparency, Or Lack Thereof

Posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2014

liarWe’re of the opinion that we are being lied to, everyday, about pretty much everything. Today was no different. First we have G-Mac yammering in front the city’s most frequent and often worst liars, the City Council:

“According to McCarthy, through September the Police Department had recorded eight straight quarters of reductions in murders, going back two years. Over that time, the department registered 500 fewer shooting incidents and 123 fewer murders than in the two years preceding.

McCarthy added that robberies, burglaries, car thefts and overall crime are all down this year.”

Homicides are down, but we’ll take issue with “shooting incidents”. There may be fewer “incidents” but there’s been a lot more people shot as in there’s been a shitton of multi-victim shootings. Also remember that there is no crime unless it’s reported, hence less cops = less crime.

Next up is the unfortunate incident of an off-duty cop getting beaten in a downtown parking garage:

“The off-duty officer was in the 100 block of West Madison about 3 p.m. when multiple people walked up, repeatedly hit him and then stole his personal belongings, police said.

Police declined to say how the robbers fled the scene.”

So little information for the masses, yet the scanner traffic was a goldmine in comparison. Why not say that the offenders fled in a red Mercury Mountaineer with temporary Indiana plates that happened to leave its front bumper behind? Or why not mention how those personal belongings included some rather important police ‘stuff’?

UPDATE: The Tribune published the full story. Good.

6 Comments

No Tagbacks

Posted on Tuesday, October 28th, 2014

Either someone got the jump on David here, or he didn’t play enough Call of Duty:

“Officers responded about 9:30 p.m. to a call of shots fired in the 2100 block of West 18th Place and found David Morgan, 36, lying in the street with a gunshot wound to the head, according to police and the Cook County medical examiner’s office.

According to a police report, Morgan was caught on video holding a handgun and standing between two vehicles, waiting for one to pass by, when someone in the vehicle shot him in the head.”

D’oh!

“Morgan fell to the ground, and someone came up to him, retrieved his handgun and fired at the shooter’s vehicle numerous times, according to the report. The person then tried to drag Morgan onto the curb, then ran off camera.

There are no cooperating witnesses to the shooting, which is thought to be gang-related, according to the report. A police source said Morgan had documented gang ties.”

What? That’s unheard of! Uncooperative gangbangers? Where? Someone better tell Bobby Rush about this “gang” thing. They supposedly don’t exist. Now where’s that gun… it needs some blamin’.

7 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, October 25th, 2014

3 StoogesLike we said, by all indications, we’d be in for a doozy of a weekend. Some Indian Summer perfection resulted in a massive amount of booze/pot-infused stupidity nearly tripling last year’s count.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 35 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 2 killed, 14 wounded

Friday 10/24
8:40p 4800 S Hermitage Ave, New City, M/16
9:35p 7300 S Dante Ave, South Shore, F/14
9:35p 7300 S Dante Ave, South Shore, F/15
10:00p 5500 W Corcoran Pl, Austin, M/23
10:00p 5500 W Corcoran Pl, Austin, M/24
10:35p Dan Ryan/71st St, Grand Crossing, M/?
11:30p 5300 S Hoyne Ave, New City, M/39
11:40p 7000 S Wolcott Ave, Englewood, M/32
11:55p 1300 N Laramie Ave, Austin, M/23
Saturday 10/25
2:45a 4000 W 51st St, Archer Heights, M/34
3:00a 2400 W Lexington St, Near W. Side, M/31
3:15a 6400 S Washtenaw Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/?
5:00a 12200 S Halsted St, West Pullman, M/24
11:00a 7200 S Campbell Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/13
5:30p 6700 S Sangamon St, Englewood, M/?
6:45p 0 E 101st Pl, Roseland, M/16
7:00p 2700 E 81st St, South Chicago, M/22
7:45p 700 W Marquette Rd, Englewood, M/17
9:00p 6500 S Pulaski Rd, West Lawn, M/23
9:05p 200 N Keystone Ave, Garfield Park, M/15
9:45p 4300 S Berkeley Ave, Kenwood, M/16
Sunday 10/26
12:20a 2300 W Jackson Blvd, Near W. Side, M/25
3:05a 1300 W Washburne Ave, Near W. Side, M/26
3:20a 11900 S Eggleston Ave, West Pullman, M/42
3:40a 7900 S Paulina St, Auburn Gresham, M/34
3:50a 8900 S Carpenter St, Washington Heights, M/21
4:25a 2200 W 69th St, Englewood, M/31
9:00a 8600 S Lafayette Ave, Chatham, M/25
12:00p 8200 S Houston Ave, South Chicago, M/17
3:05p 5400 S Talman Ave, Gage Park, M/19
3:50p 3200 S Kedvale Ave, Little Village, M/17
6:25p 200 N Kenneth Ave, Garfield Park, F/22
7:10p 8800 S Honore St, Auburn Gresham, F/46 !
9:30p 2100 W 18th Pl, Lower W. Side, M/36
9:50p 5500 S State St, Washington Park, M/17
9:50p 5500 S State St, Washington Park, M/21
9:50p 5500 S State St, Washington Park, F/26
10:00p 3614 W McLean Ave, Logan Square, M/31
10:00p 3614 W McLean Ave, Logan Square, M/24

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

14 Comments

$100,000,000 (Again)

Posted on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Dr EvilIt’s that time of year when the city comes out with its projected police overtime number. Like last year, the initial estimate was off by only a couple 10s of millions of dollars.

“[City Budget Director Alexandria] Holt told aldermen the city expects to spend $95 million on police overtime this year, which is $23 million more than the $72 million already set aside.

It’s the second year in a row the city has exceeded its police overtime budget by millions. Last year, the city spent more than $100 million on police overtime after estimating it would spend $32 million.

The figures come amid growing concern in Chicago over the police department’s overall effectiveness in addressing spiraling shootings and murders, particularly in a number of poorer and more disadvantaged neighborhoods across the city.”

$100 million gets you slightly fewer homicides (still on target for 400+ this year) and more people shot. Not a very good ROI for the tapped taxpayers of Chicagoland.

What’s not included here is the overall police, fire and EMS budget numbers plus the HUGE taxpayer-assisted medical expenses incurred by various honor students, jagoffs, assholes and pricks with severe coping issues.

The cops do what they can, when they can, but in the end the aforementioned honor students should be sent the bill for the asinine behavior.

3 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, October 18th, 2014

3 StoogesFor the second weekend in a row, what took all weekend last year to accomplish was knocked out in just hours this year. In the end, this weekend was 2.5 times as stupid as the same weekend last year. Good job honor students.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 22 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 1 killed, 9 wounded

Friday 10/17
3:45p 11800 S Vincennes Ave, Morgan Park, M/?
6:40p 6700 S Parnell Ave, Englewood, M/17
9:15p 5500 W Rice St, Austin, M/?
11:15p 3900 N Francisco Ave, Irving Park, M/18
11:15p 3900 N Francisco Ave, Irving Park, M/18
11:15p 3900 N Francisco Ave, Irving Park, M/19
Saturday 10/18
12:25a 9300 S Wentworth Ave, Roseland, M/21
12:50a 900 E 104th St, Pullman, M/18
12:55a Sports Reporter And Pals Carjack Cab
1:00a 6700 S Throop St, Englewood, M/24
2:20a 5100 W Madison St, Austin, M/19
2:20a 5100 W Madison St, Austin, M/21
2:20a 5100 W Madison St, Austin, M/24
2:35a 7500 S Wentworth Ave, Grand Crossing, M/37 !
4:00p 300 W 107th St, Roseland, M/26
6:15p 4458 W West End Ave, Garfield Park, M/21
7:20p 7200 S Champlain Ave, Grand Crossing, M/15
7:20p 7200 S Champlain Ave, Grand Crossing, M/16 !
Sunday 10/19
12:10a 1100 S Menard Ave, Austin, F/20
12:35a 5300 W Oakdale Ave, Belmont-Cragin, F/18
2:00a 7000 S Wolcott Ave, Englewood, M/32
2:30a 1100 N Leclaire Ave, Austin, M/34 !
2:25p 1500 W 59th St, Englewood, M/20
5:15p 5100 W Hirsch St, Austin, M/18
5:15p 5100 W Hirsch St, Austin, M/22
10:00p 800 E 88th Pl, Chatham, M/50
11:00p 2 DOA when vehicle hits police car

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

8 Comments

Felony Fun Run

Posted on Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

Bryan DuffyOver 40,000 people participated in this past weekend’s Chicago Marathon but only one had the benefit of direct police involvement encouragement:

“A Chicago real estate agent being chased by police on Sunday dashed onto the Chicago Marathon route and ran a portion of the famed race before being tackled to the ground by police, authorities said.

Bryan Duffy, 29, allegedly joined a pack of runners — and bumped into several of them — after police began chasing him on State Street, which is near the start of the marathon route, prosecutors said.”

Not a bad idea – blend in with your surroundings if only it wasn’t for the button down shirt (and probably pants) that’s a dead giveaway you’re not a marathon runner.

“Officers caught and tackled him to the ground in the 200 block of West Superior Street, according to a police report. In court, during a brief hearing Monday, Duffy’s face revealed apparent road rash.

Officers found an Altoids box with 10 capsules of suspected MDMA (also known as ecstasy or Molly) and a wad of bills totaling $531, according to a police report.

Duffy was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance, resisting arrest and reckless conduct for putting marathon runners in danger, according to the report.”

We’re of the opinion that the whole idea behind running 26.2 miles should be considered “reckless conduct”.

3 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, October 11th, 2014

The Triple FacepalmIn just 10 hours on Friday and into Saturday morning, we surpassed last year’s total for the same weekend. A cool, pleasant Saturday and Sunday helped add to the weekend’s tally.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 18 wounded
Last year’s weekend tally: 1 killed, 8 wounded

Friday 10/10
3:00p 1500 N Lorel Ave, Austin, M/27
7:15p 7000 S State St, Grand Crossing, M/31
10:30p 500 N Monticello Ave, Humboldt Park, M/44
10:50p 8800 S Carpenter St, Auburn Gresham, M/20
10:50p 8800 S Carpenter St, Auburn Gresham, M/16
Saturday 10/11
12:15a 1700 N Drake Ave, Humboldt Park, M/33
1:10a 4400 W Madison St, Garfield Park, M/22
1:10a 4400 W Madison St, Garfield Park, F/20
1:10a 4400 W Madison St, Garfield Park, F/20 !
1:10a 4400 W Madison St, Garfield Park, M/18
12:35p 11900 S Wentworth Ave, West Pullman, M/?
9:40p 5600 W Lake St, Austin, M/15 !
10:25p 2800 N Kildare Ave, Hermosa, M/26
Sunday 10/12
12:35a 5300 S MLK Dr, Washington Park, M/26 (story)
2:25a 4000 W Cortland St, Hermosa, M/25
2:30a 1600 S Central Park Ave, North Lawndale, M/51
2:45a 12200 S Halsted St, West Pullman, M/27
10:05a 6800 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/16
10:25a 10600 S LaSalle St, Roseland, M/16
10:45a 3600 W Lexington St, Garfield Park, M/20
5:00p 1600 W 72nd St, Englewood, M/17
6:45p 2300 N Melvina Ave, Belmont-Cragin, M/25

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

11 Comments

Blue Line Blues

Posted on Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Lorenzo JonesThe poor CTA Blue Line, besides being known for questionable service and hi-speed escalator runs, some this jagoff decided to take a few shots at it this morning.

“A man in his 20s with a long arrest record fired an assault rifle five times at a Blue Line train at the LaSalle station Thursday morning but did not hit anyone, police said.

The man was arrested within minutes as he was walking with the rifle about a block from the station, police said. He was carrying 60 extra bullets, police said.

The gunman was seen on CTA surveillance video boarding a train at LaSalle Street, traveling in a loop and then getting off back at LaSalle, according to McCarthy. On the platform, the gunman opened fire on a train five times, he said.

McCarthy said the gunman has a valid Firearm Owner’s Identification Card, but the rifle was reported stolen from Indiana. The fact that the gunman fired on the train and not any people, McCarthy said, was “a bit perplexing.”"

What’s even more perplexing, G-Mac, is:

  • how someone rides a CTA train with a rifle without being noticed?
  • how does someone with a “long arrest record” get a FOID card?
  • how can someone get an “assault rifle” into Chicago – those are like really, really, super illegal and stuff (and scary!).

UPDATE: Our hero used a Hi-Point Carbine, hardly an assault rifle, and is being held on $2 million dollars bond, which is $1MM more than the typical murder suspect.

13 Comments

Englewood Shootout

Posted on Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

The situation in Englewood came to an end around midnight with the one of the alleged suspects assuming room temperature:

“A police standoff that began in Englewood with the attempted arrest of a shooting spree suspect ended six hours later with one man dead, another wounded and a high-ranking officer recovering from a head wound, officials said.

The identity of the 42-year-old dead man was not released, but the wounded man was identified as the suspect from Indiana, Daniel P. Brown. At least one gun was recovered, police said.

As police Superintendent Garry McCarthy announced the end of the standoff to reporters huddled along 71st Street, a group of three or four women broke into sobs.

“They … killed him!” one of them shouted.”

Maybe, maybe not. We’ll find out soon enough. Our money is on him catching a round during the initial shootout and bleeding out.

More coverage available at the Sun-times and NBC5 Chicago.

11 Comments

Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 3rd, 2014

In keeping with 2014′s theme of “More Lead, Less Dead” the weekend tallied another 35 incidents, more than doubling last year’s stupidity.

Stupidity Tally: 2 killed, 33 wounded
Last year’s tally: 4 killed, 12 wounded

Friday 10/3
2:35p 4700 S Honore St, New City, M/35
3:00p 2400 N Laramie Ave, Belmont-Cragin, M/18
5:00p 13100 S Langley Ave, Riverdale, M/17
9:20p 10600 S Yates Ave, South Deering, M/18
9:50p 2100 S Paulina St, Lower W. Side, M/26
11:10p 1700 N McVicker Ave, Austin, M/18
11:30p 4400 N Clifton Ave, Uptown, M/34
Saturday 10/4
3:00a 4400 W Van Buren St, Garfield Park, M/20
3:00a 4400 W Van Buren St, Garfield Park, M/23
3:00a 4400 W Van Buren St, Garfield Park, M/23
3:00a 4400 W Van Buren St, Garfield Park, M/24 !
*3:20a 800 W Jackson Blvd, Near W. Side, M/24*
3:20a 800 W Jackson Blvd, Near W. Side, M/24
4:30a 7400 S Champlain Ave, Grand Crossing, M/19
6:55a 2400 S Washtenaw Ave, Little Village, M/22
2:45p 2300 S St. Louis Ave, Little Village, M/23 !
3:30p 10500 S Wentworth Ave, Roseland, M/24
8:50p 4200 W Wabansia Ave, Humboldt Park, M/27
9:25p 5400 S Talman Ave, Gage Park, M/21
The Great Chicago Fire Festival Fail
11:20p 1700 W 59th St, Englewood, M/30
Sunday 10/5
12:55a 3408 W Fullerton Ave, Logan Square, M/14
12:55a 3408 W Fullerton Ave, Logan Square, F/19
2:30a 5900 S Maplewood Ave, Chicago Lawn, F/17
3:25a 4800 S Laflin St, New City, M/29
3:35a 2500 W Cortland St, Logan Square, M/17
5:40a 4600 W Adams St, Austin, M/21
10:20a 2000 E 95th St, South Deering, M/17
10:20a 2000 E 95th St, South Deering, M/18
10:20a 2000 E 95th St, South Deering, M/15
1:20p 6100 S Vernon Ave, Woodlawn, M/14
2:15p 4300 W 16th St, North Lawndale, M/14
2:30p 5700 S Elizabeth St, Englewood, M/33
3:20p Dismembered body found
6:30p 3500 W Huron St, Humboldt Park, M/17
6:30p 3500 W Huron St, Humboldt Park, M/18 !
8:00p 3806 W Chicago Ave, Humboldt Park, M/47
8:25p 6800 S Peoria Ave, Englewood, M/19

*Added bonus: Congrats to the guy who caught a bullet in the leg this morning in Greektown, you are the 2,000th person to get shot in #Chicago this year.

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

15 Comments

September’s 46

Posted on Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

CarnacSeptember is an interesting month. Since most people don’t consider it part of summer, interest in summer-like stupidity drops at a good clip as the month grids along. Even though September regularly puts up 40 homicides or more, by this point in the year, no one much cares anymore.

Case in point, this past weekend tied for the second most violent of the year and yet it barely registered in the news cycle.

In any event, this September was not good. 45 46 killed and another 212 211 wounded makes it one the most idiotic in years. September 2013 tallied 42 killed and 154 wounded. Therefore this September was a “More Dead, More Lead” month.

Looking ahead to October, it’ll all depend on the weather. If it stays somewhat nice, another 40 homicides and 150 wounded is not out of the question. If it turns shitty sooner than expected, we’ll likely see 30 homicides and 100 wounded.

7 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, September 27th, 2014

The Triple FacepalmIdeal atmospheric conditions made for ideal stupidity conditions, resulting in one of the most violent/deadliest/idiotic weekends of 2014. Saturday alone tied 4/26 for the stupidest Saturday of the year with 22 incidents (2 killed, 20 wounded).

Final Stupidity Tally: 8 killed, 44 wounded
Same weekend last year: 1 killed, 15 wounded

Friday 9/26
2:00p 1959 W 59th St, Englewood, M/22
2:00p 1959 W 59th St, Englewood, M/44
2:00p 1959 W 59th St, Englewood, M/31
5:00p 5900 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/30
6:00p 6200 S Langley Ave, Woodlawn, M/19
6:00p 10800 S Calhoun Ave, South Deering, M/34
10:15p 5700 S Aberdeen St, Englewood, M/27
10:15p 5700 S Aberdeen St, Englewood, M/25
10:15p 5700 S Aberdeen St, Englewood, M/63
10:45p 700 E 38th Pl, Oakland, M/21 !
Saturday 9/27
2:15a 6900 S Throop St, Englewood, M/27
2:40a 7000 S Wolcott Ave, Englewood, M/25
2:40a 7000 S Wolcott Ave, Englewood, M/31
3:00a 5800 S Spaulding Ave, Gage Park, M/22
3:10a 5600 S Michigan Ave, Washington Park, M/27
4:30a 3700 S Wentworth Ave, Armour Square, M/23 !
6:15a 4500 S Hermitage Ave, New City, M/23
10:30a 5900 S Laflin Ave, Englewood, M/28
12:30p $250K Gold Coast smash-n-grab
1:50p 2400 W 70th St, Chicago Lawn, M/21
2:15p 6800 S Perry Ave, Grand Crossing, F/26
3:00p 6500 S Minerva Ave, Woodlawn, M/21
5:05p 8000 S Mozart St, Ashburn, M/18
5:30p 7900 S Manistee Ave, South Chicago, F/20
7:35p 8100 S Woodlawn Ave, Avalon Park, M/13 !
7:35p 8100 S Woodlawn Ave, Avalon Park, M/18
7:35p 8100 S Woodlawn Ave, Avalon Park, M/19
9:15p 8000 S Vernon Ave, Chatham, M/23
10:05p 6800 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/17
10:05p 6800 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/18
11:35p 1700 W Lake St, Near W. Side, M/14
11:35p 1700 W Lake St, Near W. Side, M/18
11:35p 1700 W Lake St, Near W. Side, M/18
Sunday 9/28
2:45a 6300 S Seeley Ave, Englewood, M/19
2:45a 6300 S Seeley Ave, Englewood, M/19
7:05a 3600 W Grenshaw St, North Lawndale, M/21
9:00a 3400 N Odell Ave, Dunning, F/? (story)
9:00a 3400 N Odell Ave, Dunning, F/?
10:00a 5300 S MLK, Washington Park, M/?
12:35p 3200 E 91st St, South Chicago, M/20
6:15p 4400 S Prairie Ave, Grand Boulevard, M/33
8:35p 6616 S Tallman Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/13
9:30p 2100 W 68th Pl, Englewood, M/18
10:00p 600 E 38th Pl, Oakland, M/16
10:00p 600 E 38th Pl, Oakland, M/18
10:10p 700 N St Louis Ave, Humboldt Park, M/22
10:45p 3248 N Long Ave, Portage Park, M/18
11:05p 8512 S Escanaba Ave, South Chicago, M/26
11:05p 8512 S Escanaba Ave, South Chicago, M/35
11:05p 8512 S Escanaba Ave, South Chicago, F/18
Monday Overtime
12:00a 5300 S Kedzie Ave, Gage Park, M/33
12:20a 1759 E 73rd Pl, South Shore, M/30
4:15a 2900 W Cortland St, Logan Square, M/22

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

19 Comments

For The Children Update

Posted on Thursday, September 25th, 2014

Way back in May, news broke that Chicago’s favorite mayor was speeding and running more red lights than a gangbanger in a rented black Dodge Charger hightailing it from a shooting. Barely 4 months later, it’s pretty much the same shit, different day:

“In May, the mayor said he had instructed his bodyguards to slow down and obey traffic laws like everyone else. They haven’t.

At the time, Rahm Emanuel publicly dressed down his drivers.

“I said, ‘Follow the law, nobody’s above the law, slow down, period,’” Emanuel said in May.

But within an hour of speaking those words, cameras clocked the mayor’s motorcade speeding 12 miles an hour over the limit near Douglas Park.

In the four months since the I-Team first uncovered the mayor’s chauffeurs chafing against the rules of the road, they have accrued eight more violations, an average of a violation every other week.”

In the mayor’s defense, he’s not the one driving… he’s in the backseat telling his driver to “step on it asshole!” and “blow that light you fuckin’ prick!“.

So we made that last part up, anyway, our colleagues over at Crime in Wrigleyville & Boystown have a rundown of the infractions.

8 Comments

Kass: Where’s Jesse & Al?

Posted on Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

Antonio's shootersOn August 20th, 9 year-old Antonio Smith was executed by four habitual jagoffs. He wasn’t hit by a stray bullet like 11 year-old Shamiya Adams, he was shot six times, on purpose. One would think that would get some people really pissed off, right? Well, not really:

“When will Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Sr. show up in Chicago to show Ferguson-style outrage over the assassination of 9-year-old Antonio Smith?

There was plenty of televised outrage over the Ferguson, Mo., death of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown, who was shot by a white cop.

But practically none over Antonio Smith, who just before he was killed argued with his mom because she wouldn’t give him a cupcake.”

Kass continues by stating what we’ve said time and time again anytime something like this happens:

“There was plenty of TV outrage over Michael Brown’s shooting. Sharpton and Jackson reveled in it. Activists even took to raising their hands as they say Brown did before he was shot.

But no crowds of protesters took to the streets in his memory.

But there was little if any national political outrage, or national coverage. And without daily protests, looting or Sharpton’s showmanship, without those white college kids in their Guy Fawkes masks, Antonio Smith’s story died, too, for a time.

He was a black child allegedly killed by black gangsters, so the politics apparently weren’t right for outrage. And the loudest sound after Antonio died was of his mother, sobbing.”

In the eyes of Jesse, Al and numerous politicians, 9 year-old Antonio is the perfect, exploitable victim. The only problem is gangbanging, rap sheet laden, home monitored losers don’t make for ideal assailants. Hence crickets.

6 Comments

That’s a Knife

Posted on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2014

That's a knifeWhoopsie:

“A man allegedly trying to rob another person was fatally stabbed by his victim Friday night, police said.

Dimitre Beck, 22, of the 7300 block of South Peoria Street, was stabbed about 10 p.m. Friday night in the 7300 block of South Halsted Street, police said.

Police said Beck and a group of people tried to rob someone and began beating the victim in the head and body.

The victim pulled out a “cutting instrument” and stabbed Beck in self defense, said Officer Thomas Sweeney, a police spokesman.

After the victim stabbed Beck, Beck’s cohorts and the victim fled the scene, Sweeney said.

An autopsy determined he died of multiple stab wounds, and classified his death as a homicide.”

We’d like to add the word “justified” right before homicide.

8 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, September 19th, 2014

The Triple FacepalmAs expected, seasonal weather results in seasonal stupidity.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 32 wounded vs
Last Weekend’s 3 killed, 16 wounded vs
Last Year’s 11 killed, 18 wounded.

Friday 9/19
2:00p 1600 W 61st St, Englewood, M/21
4:00p Assholes arrested for killing a 9 y/o kid
6:45p 1448 W 81st St, Auburn Gresham, F/16
8:00p 5400 S Damen Ave, New City, M/46
8:10p 7200 S May St, Englewood, M/15 !
8:10p 7200 S May St, Englewood, F/18
8:10p 7200 S May St, Englewood, M/37
8:15p 2900 W 85th St, Ashburn, M/18
8:25p 7700 S Emerald, Auburn Gresham, M/21
9:30p 7142 S Rhodes Ave, Grand Crossing, M/27
10:00p 500 N Albany Ave, Humboldt Park, M/17
10:00p 7300 S Halsted St, Englewood, M/21
11:00p 4000 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/18 !
11:00p 4000 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/16
11:00p 4000 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/12
Saturday 9/20
2:40a 3900 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/33
2:40a 3900 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/28
2:40a 3900 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/22
4:10a 4000 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/16
1:45p uncooperative prick, M/19
3:40p 6359 S Kedzie Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/26
5:20p 7429 S Colfax Ave, South Shore, M/23
7:20p 3930 W Ferdinand St, Humboldt Park, M/22
8:00p 5600 S Perry Ave, Washington Park, M/19
9:45p 6000 S Paulina St, Englewood, F/16
9:45p 6000 S Paulina St, Englewood, M/19
9:50p 6900 S Vernon Ave, Grand Crossing, M/23
9:50p 6900 S Vernon Ave, Grand Crossing, M/20 !
9:50p 6900 S Vernon Ave, Grand Crossing, M/18
Sunday 9/21
1:10a 5400 S Justine St, New City, F/39
1:10a 5400 S Justine St, New City, M/38
1:50a 1700 S Loomis St, Lower W. Side, M/23
2:40a 7700 S Stewart Ave, Grand Crossing, M/34
3:45a 2600 N Long Ave, Belmont-Cragin, M/26
10:45a 5200 W Diversey Ave, Belmont-Cragin, F/37
4:20p 10500 S Indiana Ave, Roseland, M/33
7:00p 4400 S Vincennes Ave, Grand Boulevard, M/33
Monday Overtime
1:20a 2400 S Springfield Ave, Little Village, M/33

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

12 Comments

Honor Students of the Week

Posted on Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

Jesse KazmierskiBack in March, in a sleepy southeast side neighborhood, a former CPD sergeant was murdered during a home invasion. Yesterday a second honor student was arrested in connection with the incident. The pictured honor student was arrested a few weeks ago.

A 16-year-old boy is the second person to be charged with robbing and fatally shooting a retired Chicago Police sergeant during a March home invasion on the Far South Side.

The teen, whose name has not been released, is charged with one felony count of first-degree murder and two felony counts of armed home invasion in connection with the death of 73-year-old Elmer Brown on March 10, according to a statement from Chicago Police. He is expected to appear in bond court Wednesday.

Mr. Brown may have at one time been a sergeant but subsequent reports had him partially blind and wheelchair-bound due to diabetes. Hardly what one would consider a threat during a home invasion but they shot him in the face anyway and threaten his wife:

The assailant who was holding the weapon allegedly told the 72-year-old woman, “Keep your head down bitch or I’ll f—— blow your head off too.”

Since we’ve been told time and time again it’s “guns guns guns”, we have to wonder if this particular firearm kisses his sister with that mouth (or is it barrel?).

UPDATE: A third honor student has been charged in the case. Well done CPD.

6 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, September 12th, 2014

As we speculated at the start of the weekend, the unseasonable cool weather was likely to put a damper on the stupidity. It’s no surprise that we ended up with the least violent weekend since mid-March.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 16 wounded
vs 2013 Stupidity Tally: 2 killed, 9 wounded.

Friday 9/12
3:00p 900 E 79th St, Chatham, F/24
6:45p Masked gunman in Lincoln Park
11:10p 1700 N Mason Ave, Austin, M/27
Saturday 9/13
1:30a 1700 W 87th St, Auburn Gresham, F/23
1:30a 1700 W 87th St, Auburn Gresham, M/42
1:30a Shots fired by CPD, no one hit
12:40p 5700 S Prairie Ave, Washington Park, M/39
3:00p 3900 S Prairie Ave, Douglas, M/17
5:45p 9200 S Clyde Ave, Calumet Heights, M/18
7:45p 1700 N Kimball Ave, Humboldt Park, M/17
7:45p 1700 N Kimball Ave, Humboldt Park, M/20
10:15p Officer hit by car
10:15p 2300 W Lake St, Near W. Side, M/?
Sunday 9/14
1:00a I90/Fullerton, Logan Square, M/?
2:10a 4100 W Adams St, Garfield Park, M/30
3:00a Dan Ryan/79th St, Grand Crossing, M/24
11:35a 6900 S Eggleston Ave, Englewood, M/17
11:55a 1800 S Hamlin Ave, North Lawndale, M/29
1:50p 4100 W 16th St, North Lawndale, M/28
5:25p 800 S California Ave, Garfield Park, F/37

6:50p 7411 S Dante Ave, South Shore, M/14
Bears win!
Monday Overtime
3:45a 200 W 118th St, West Pullman, M/28

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

3 Comments

Never Forget

Posted on Thursday, September 11th, 2014

9/11It’s hard to believe that this happened 13 years ago today. Shortly afterwards everyone was scrambling to get out of the Loop, including yours truly. Side note: The news of the day in Chicago prior to the above taking place was Michael Jordon’s return to basketball (again). Open post until the weekend stupidity begins.

2 Comments

Ban Machetes!

Posted on Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

You may recall a little over a month ago the CTA came out with their own version of #CrimeIsDown of which many people responded with skepticism. After all, when one has to dial an 800 number, navigate voice prompts and then lodge your complaint which may or may not be passed along to the CPD, many think ‘why bother’.

That said, we’re curious to know if this incident will make the stats:

“Seven people have been charged after a man who refused to flash a gang sign was attacked with a machete Monday morning at a Brown Line station in the Northwest Side Albany Park neighborhood.

A group of attackers went up to two men, ages 17 and 26, around 12:35 a.m. Monday at the Kedzie station and told them to flash gang signs, authorities said.

Police say Mario Elvira, 18, then pulled out a “cutting instrument” and struck the 26-year-old in the head, leaving him with cuts to his head and neck. A source said the weapon was a machete.”

Fortunately, there doesn’t look to have been too fine an edge on that machete or else we would have recorded our first hacking homicide.

Even though the honor students were all arrested, it’s clearly the fault of the machete and the only solution is to ban, not only machetes, but also anything sharp, including pencils.

Side note: One wonders what would the outcome have been if the victim CCW’d these jagoffs ignoring the fact that CCW isn’t allowed on the CTA. Better, worse or same?

8 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, September 6th, 2014

The Triple FacepalmStupidity and insanity were all around this weekend with not only 8 killed in Chicago, but at least 3 killed in the suburbs, a massive fire in Roseland killed 4 kids, a rare double stabbing homicide, plus typical “no snitch” bullshit and the Bears lost to a high school team.

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 21 wounded.
2013 Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 18 wounded.

Friday 9/5
12:45p 1800 S Loomis St, Lower W. Side, M/20
1:10p 2000 W Jarvis Ave, Rogers Park, M/17
4:40p Drunk chick falls off Wrigley rooftop
5:10p 6200 S Kilpatrick, Clearing, M/24
11:30p 5800 N Mobile Ave, Norwood Park, M/36
11:35p 5800 N Mobile Ave, Norwood Park, M/20

Saturday 9/6
12:30a 3200 W Congress Pkwy, Garfield Park, M/?
2:10a 1900 S Christiana Ave, N. Lawndale, M/32
2:10a 1900 S Christiana Ave, N. Lawndale, M/37 !
2:10a 1900 S Christiana Ave, N. Lawndale, M/35
3:00a 1500 S Lawndale, N. Lawndale, M/64
4:10a 500 N Bishop St, West Town, M/19

8:00a 9700 S Forest Ave, Roseland, M/20
8:00p 400 W 103rd St, Roseland, F/24
9:00p 7300 S Damen Ave, Englewood, M/19
9:00p 7300 S Damen Ave, Englewood, M/22
9:00p 7300 S Damen Ave, Englewood, M/18
9:15p 1400 W Morse Ave, Rogers Park, M/22
10:00p 4500 S Evans Ave, Grand Boulevard, M/23
10:30p 8700 S Sangamon Ave, Auburn Gresham, M/24
10:30p 8700 S Sangamon Ave, Auburn Gresham, M/34
Sunday 9/7
12:30a 3900 W Arthington St, Garfield Park, M/30
12:30a 3900 W Arthington St, Garfield Park, M/50
12:30a 3900 W Arthington St, Garfield Park, F/73
12:30a 3900 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/22
2:10a 3 stabbed on the Mag Mile
3:40a 1600 W Cullerton St, Lower W. Side, M/18
3:40a 1600 W Cullerton St, Lower W. Side, M/25
4:00a 4700 N Kedzie Ave, Albany Park, M/?
7:20p 2700 N Moody Ave, Belmont-Cragin, M/30
9:00p 5800 S Michigan Ave, Washington Hghts, M/16
11:45p 6000 S Carpenter St, Englewood, M/23
Monday Overtime
3:25a 1100 N Harding Ave, Humboldt Park, M/54

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss

14 Comments

Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen

Posted on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

So long, farewell, au wiedersehenIt’s that time of year when we lovingly look back on the summer that was. From the start of the Memorial Day weekend to the end of the Labor Day weekend we tallied 149 151 homicides and an additional 851 850 persons shot and wounded. In keeping with our “More Lead/Less Dead” theme, homicides were down 16% 14.6% from last summer (yay!) but total persons shot was up 14% (boo!).

Summer 2014 by the numbers:

  • 149 150 151 dead
  • 850 wounded
  • 886 males
  • 115 females
  • 25.6 average age
  • 32 teenagers killed
  • 91.2% of homicides were gunshots
  • Avg 1 shooting every 2hrs, 52min
  • Avg 1 homicide every 16hrs, 25min
  • 17 police involved shootings
  • Team Englewood lead w/ 23 killed

Just as Cubs fans have been saying for the last millennium, “wait ’til next year”.

13 Comments

The Closing Scene

Posted on Friday, August 29th, 2014

Closing Scene from The Blues BrothersSo here we are, the last weekend of summer. Since the start of the summer, which we say is the Friday (5/23) prior to Memorial Day, we’ve tallied 151 homicides plus another 850 shot & wounded. Last summer we tallied 177 homicides and an additional 715 shot & wounded. Or as we’ve been saying, More Lead/Less Dead.

Also for you keeping score at home, last Labor Day weekend* tallied 12 killed and 27 wounded.

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 37 wounded.

Friday 8/29
7:05p 9100 S Yates Blvd, Calumet Heights, M/22
7:05p 0 East 101st St, Roseland, M/28 !
8:10p 1800 S Throop St, Lower W. Side, M/19
8:10p 1800 S Throop St, Lower W. Side, M/22
9:00p 4600 W Van Buren St, Austin, M/32
9:00p 10000 S Avenue M, East Side, M/26
10:45p 5400 S Damen Ave, New City, M/36
Saturday 8/30
12:30a 10900 S Racine, Morgan Park, M/34
1:45a 4400 S Archer Ave, Brighton Park, M/32
2:45a 8100 S Muskegon Ave, South Chicago, F/47
5:10a 2600 W 65th St, Chicago Lawn, M/28
3:15p 10000 S Perry Ave, Roseland, M/31
10:50p 1900 N Ridgeway, Logan Square, M/59
11:10p 3700 W 57th St, West Elsdon, M/29
11:40p 5900 S Mozart St Chicago Lawn, M/20
Sunday 8/31
12:50a 6800 S Loomis Bvld, Englewood, M/34
1:35a 1000 N Monitor St Austin, M/20
1:55a 6700 S Ada St, Englewood, F/20
1:55a 6700 S Ada St, Englewood, F/21
2:30a 100 N Wood St, Near W. Side, M/26
3:05a 8800 S Burley Ave, South Chicago, M/20
4:00a 11700 S LaSalle St, West Pullman, F/52
4:00a 11700 S LaSalle St, West Pullman, F/56
5:25a 7800 S Constance Ave, South Shore, M/20
5:35a 4100 W 26th St, Little Village, M/23
6:05a 8000 S Merrill Ave, South Chicago, M/43
4:20p 800 W 95th St, Washington Heights, F/20
5:15p 1300 W Morse Ave, Rogers Park, F/29
5:15p 1300 W Morse Ave, Rogers Park, M/28
8:20p 5752 S Keeler Ave, West Elsdon, M/54
8:45p 7455 N Ridge Blvd, Rogers Park, M/29
8:45p 7455 N Ridge Blvd, Rogers Park, M/29
9:15p 9500 S Oglesby Ave, South Deering, M/51
9:15p 9500 S Oglesby Ave, South Deering, F/27
9:35p 10000 S State St, Roseland, M/24
9:55p 350 W 66th St, Englewood, M/29
Labor Day
1:00a 7900 S Saginaw Ave, South Chicago, M/19
1:05a 6900 S Justine St Englewood, F/15
2:50a 4300 Wt 25th Pl, Little Village, M/17
2:50a 4300 Wt 25th Pl, Little Village, M/22
4:10p 658 E 133rd St, Riverdale, M/19
8:50p 2400 N Lamon Ave, Belmont-Cragin, M/21 !
Tuesday Overtime
12:45a 3300 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, F/19
2:10a 8700 S Escanaba Ave, South Chicago, M/23

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved
! #ShotInTheAss
* Labor Day Weekend runs Fri 12p thru Tues 6a

30 Comments

Jagoff of the Week

Posted on Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Emad KarakrahObviously Chicago has it problems as illustrated by the numerous charts and graphics displayed on this site. Thankfully the one thing we haven’t had to nor hopefully will ever have to illustrate is some terrorism bullshit.

However, early Wednesday, the jagoff shown here thought it would be an excellent idea to drive around with an uber-jagoff, sheep-fucking jihadist ISIS flag and then threaten to blow up his car:

“A man who had an ISIS flag waving from his vehicle is facing several charges after he threatened police with a bomb Wednesday morning when he was pulled over on the Southwest Side.

Emad Karakrah, 49, was charged with felony counts of disorderly conduct and aggravated fleeing; and a misdemeanor count of driving on a never-issued license, according to Chicago Police.

The man told police during his arrest that there was a bomb in the car and he would detonate it if they searched the vehicle, according to the report.

A bomb squad, the FBI and Homeland Security responded to the scene and searched the vehicle, but no bomb was found, authorities said.”

And here we thought the only bat-shit crazy jagoff in town this week was Joe Biden.

4 Comments

CPDK

Posted on Wednesday, August 27th, 2014


The digital ink had barely dried on our previous post about police shootings when the above 10-1 (police emergency) came through the scanner. While the clip has it tense moments, the reason for the 10-1 was unknown to us. 24 hours later, we know what the hubbub was all about:

“A crowd gathered around 7 p.m. Tuesday in the 7900 block of South Avalon Avenue in memory of Desean Pittman, a 17-year-old boy fatally shot by police in Chatham.

The group gathered for the vigil allegedly turned against police when a woman pointed at an officer monitoring the group and yelled, “That’s the rookie mother[fucker] that killed him,” prosecutors said Wednesday.

The crowd began to chant, “Kill the rookie,” as some pelted police with candles and bricks, authorities said. People threw branches, bottles and other debris from the street while yelling “CPDK,” which stands for “Chicago Police Department Killer,” officials said.”

“CPDK” is almost as stupid as “Chiraq”. The article continues on to describe the mayhem that ensued. However, what the article omits is that Desean was plugged while in the process of having a running gun fight with fellow honor student, Amelio Johnson (allegedly of course).

“Two officers turned a corner after hearing gunfire and saw a man [Desean] holding a gun and standing over someone who was on the ground, Camden said.

Amelio Johnson, 22, who had been on the ground nearby also had a gun and had apparently been shot by Pittman standing near him, police said. Johnson was taken Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn in critical condition, where he was later pronounced dead, according to officials.”

So let’s review: Honor student 1 is seen by cops murdering honor student 2; Cops shoot and kill honor student 1; Honor student 1′s friends and family (near) riot and attack cops for killing a killer (allegedly of course).

Clip courtesy of @chrissmith.

9 Comments

Police Shootings

Posted on Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

The subject of police shootings has been in the news a lot lately because of Ferguson, Mo. If you happened to notice our professionally designed police shooting graphic below, you’ll notice that we have quite a few of them ’round these parts and rarely does anyone say a word. Today, the Tribune has a very lengthy article on the subject:

“If anything was unusual about the shootings of two people by Chicago police last weekend, it was that one of the incidents sparked a protest.

A sudden rainstorm scattered the 80 or so people who gathered Monday on the West Side to protest the fatal shooting of 18-year-old Roshad McIntosh in the Lawndale neighborhood a day earlier. The organized demonstration was rare in a city where police shootings take place with regularity and often prompt hard questions about whether they were justified.”

Unusual indeed. Typically there’s a lot of pissed off people at the scene shortly afterwards, but in nearly all cases life goes on within a couple of hours.

The article continues on with Garry “MIA” McCarthy flogging his favorite blame horse, guns:

“He said the number of times officers have discharged their weapons has been in decline since 2011, which he attributed to officers “exercising firearms control.” And he again blamed such violent incidents on the number of guns on the streets, which puts officers’ lives in peril.

“If those guns are not on the street, we don’t get into those confrontations. We don’t have these incidents,” McCarthy said during a news conference about a narcotics investigation. “If these guys are throwing rocks at each other instead of bullets, we’re in a different place.”

“Guns, guns, guns. That’s the issue,” he added later.”

If some honor student points a pistol at a cop and subsequently gets ventilated by said cop, it’s not the gun’s fault… it’s the honor student’s fault, period.

8 Comments

The Weekend Shitshow

Posted on Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

The Triple FacepalmWe’ve had a cool, wet summer thus far, but this weekend we had some classic August weather – warm and muggy. The end result was the most violent weekend since the 4th of July. Sunday saw the most shooting incidents for a single day this year – 28 – and the most homicides in a single day – 8, including 2 police-involved homicides.

Stupidity Tally: 8 killed, 44 wounded.

Friday 8/22
4:40p 5300 S Laflin, New City, M/31
7:30p 4300 W Monroe St, Garfield Park, M/3
9:05p 12400 S Emerald Ave, West Pullman, M/20
9:05p 12400 S Emerald Ave, West Pullman, M/24
9:50p 700 W Garfield Blvd, New City, M/19
10:30p 6400 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/34
10:55p 4500 S St Lawrence, Grand Boulevard, M/20
Saturday 8/23
12:20a 2500 N Lake Shore Dr, Lincoln Park, M/24
1:20a 100 N Hoyne St, Near W. Side, M/20
2:55a 1600 W Juneway Terr, Rogers Park, M/31
3:15a 9800 S Yates, South Deering, M/26
3:30a 9900 S Torrence, South Deering, M/22
5:45a 10700 S Hoxie St, South Deering, M/18
6:45a 2700 W 24th St, Little Village, M/18
2:20p 3400 W Madison St, Garfield Park, M/21
2:25p 10400 S Avenue N, East Side, M/18
☂☂ Rain Delay ☂☂
7:50p 1200 W 112th St, Morgan Park, M/17
10:05p Mayhem in Uptown (and more)
11:40p 10000 S State St, Roseland, F/32
11:40p 10000 S State St, Roseland, M/32 !
Sunday 8/24
2:00a 5000 W Potomac St, Austin, M/33
2:00a 5000 W Potomac St, Austin, M/35
2:00a 5000 W Potomac St, Austin, M/36
2:35a 8300 S Halsted St, Auburn Gresham, M/33
2:35a 8300 S Halsted St, Auburn Gresham, M/39 !
2:35a 8300 S Halsted St, Auburn Gresham, M/32
2:35a 8300 S Halsted St, Auburn Gresham, M/41
2:45a 800 W 50th Pl, New City, M/40
3:00a 6300 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/56
3:50a 900 W Cullerton, Lower W. Side, M/17
3:50a 900 W Cullerton, Lower W. Side, M/20
6:00a 2200 S Marshall, Little Village, M/17
2:55p 1100 N Leclaire Ave, Austin, M/14
3:20p 5400 S Bishop, New City, M/14
3:20p 5400 S Bishop, New City, M/17
7:10p 800 S California Ave, Garfield Park, M/19
7:15p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, F/20
7:15p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/16 !
8:55p 8000 S Ingleside, Chatham, M/18
8:55p 8000 S Ingleside, Chatham, F/?
8:55p 8000 S Ingleside, Chatham, M/22
8:55p 8000 S Ingleside, Chatham, M/?
9:10p 7900 S Marshfield, Auburn Gresham, M/18
9:10p 7900 S Marshfield, Auburn Gresham, M/21
9:10p 4500 N Clarendon, Uptown, M/23
10:00p 7201 S May St, Englewood, M/16
11:15p 11844 S LaSalle, West Pullman, M/17
Monday Overtime
12:45a 10200 S Perry Ave, West Pullman, M/31
12:45a 10200 S Perry Ave, West Pullman, F/18
12:45a 6600 S State St, Grand Crossing, M/21
12:45a 6600 S State St, Grand Crossing, M/22
2:25a 6621 S Drexel Ave, Woodlawn, M/24

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved homicide
! #ShotInTheAss

24 Comments

Crickets

Posted on Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Since the shooting in Ferguson, MO on Saturday, August 9th and the collective shit-loosing episode that ensued, you may not have realized that six kids have been murdered in Chicago:

In addition to those six, 15 adults have been murdered (including one police-involved) and another 88 people have been shot and wounded. 30 (34%) of the 88 wounded were between the ages of 11-18.

That’s a whole lotta ventilated persons, yet crickets. Or as John Kass over at the Tribune wrote about Antonio Smith’s murder:

“I didn’t see protesters waving their hands in the air for network TV cameras. I didn’t see the Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson playing their usual roles in the political race card game.

I didn’t see white college anarchists hiding behind their white plastic Guy Fawkes masks talking about being oppressed by the state. I didn’t see politicians equivocating.

The screamers and the race hustlers buzzing in Ferguson like flies have it easy: White cop/black victim is a script that sells, and the TV cameras come running.

But in Chicago, young African-American and Latino men and boys and girls are shot down far too regularly, by neighbors, meaning other black and Latinos.”

So in other words, crickets.

12 Comments

Death Investigations

Posted on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

FlameWhen Chicago Magazine published their blockbuster article on how the CPD manipulates the stats, we were not surprised. Case in point within the article was a story of a mother and son who died in an arson fire, yet they were never classified as homicides. At the time, we made note of incident, but 1) didn’t include it in our stats and 2) never heard about it again until the Chicago Mag article was published.

Now last week we’ve witnessed some more fire play with two women found dead within burning cars, on the same day, just miles away from one another:

“A person was found dead in a burning vehicle in Auburn Gresham Friday morning, just hours before a woman was found dead outside of a burning SUV in the same South Side neighborhood. The first body was found about 5 a.m. in a burning vehicle in the 8400 block of South Gilbert, police said.

Less than two miles away, a woman was found dead outside a burning Kia SUV at 7:45 a.m.”

Very suspicious. Were they both driving Ford Pintos that happened to be rear ended?

Unlike the previously mentioned arson case, this time however, we’re not waiting for official word (autopsies for both people were inconclusive) and unfortunately we’ve added both women to our stats.

If it turns out that both women or new Kia SUVs spontaneously combusted, we’ll happily back out both homicides from our official tally.

11 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, August 15th, 2014

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 31 wounded.

Friday Pre-game
5:00a Woman #1 found in a burning vehicle
7:45a Woman #2 found under burning SUV
8:00a 8402 S Muskegon, South Chicago, M/23

Friday 8/15
1:30p 6900 S Vernon, Grand Crossing, M/26
6:40p 7400 S Greenwood, Grand Crossing, M/21
10:20p 9800 South Ellis, Pullman, M/19 !
10:20p 9800 South Ellis, Pullman, M/32
10:30p 10200 S State St, Roseland, M/22 !
11:35p 3400 S Indiana, Douglas, M/25
Saturday 8/16
12:50a 7200 S Laflin St, Englewood, F/16
12:50a 7200 S Laflin St, Englewood, M/20
1:45a 1600 N Mason, Austin, M/27
1:45a 1600 N Mason, Austin, F/19
3:00a 1600 W Grand Ave, West Town, M/32
11:15a 8800 S Muskegon Ave, South Chicago, M/15
11:25a 9800 Avenue L, East Side, M/33
5:10p 500 N Hamlin Ave, Humboldt Park, M/17
9:00p 3700 S Wabash, Douglas, M/18 !
10:45p 1300 S Avers Ave, North Lawndale, M/13
11:00p 18 hospitalized after pepper spray attack
11:00p 2400 W Adams St, Near W. Side, F/41
11:00p 2400 W Adams St, Near W. Side, F/45
11:10p 5100 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/16
11:45p 2300 N Springfield Ave, Logan Square, M/21
11:45p 2300 N Springfield Ave, Logan Square, M/16

11:45p 2300 N Springfield Ave, Logan Square, M/18
Sunday 8/17
12:50a 6300 S Albany Ave, Chicago Lawn, M/20
1:15a 900 N Karlov Ave, Humboldt Park, M/16
1:50a 8700 S Union Ave, Auburn Gresham, M/24 !
2:00a 7900 S Merrill Ave, South Chicago, M/15
2:00a 7900 S Merrill Ave, South Chicago, M/20
2:00a 7900 S Merrill Ave, South Chicago, M/27
2:00a 7900 S Merrill Ave, South Chicago, M/30
4:35a 2900 N Kimball Ave, Avondale, M/23
10:40a 12200 S Emerald Ave, West Pullman, M/24
4:20p 10400 S Union Ave, Roseland, M/21
4:55p 700 E 50th Pl, Grand Boulevard, M/15
7:45p 7400 S Dante, South Shore, M/23
9:55p 400 W 104th St, Roseland, F/29
9:55p 400 W 104th St, Roseland, F/26
Monday Overtime
1:20a 7100 S Merrill Ave, South Shore, M/29

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved shooting
! #ShotInTheAss

12 Comments

Help Wanted

Posted on Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Help Wanted Remember last year when Chicago blew through $100 million in police overtime only to say that we don’t need more cops? Overtime it was argued, allowed for more flexibility – such as pulling cops from the north and northwest sides and placing them in the west and south sides.

In keeping with the ‘don’t need more cops’ theme, the FBI will be in town to help with the #CrimeIsDown facade:

“Sneed has learned that the feds plan to dispatch 65 FBI agents to the streets in high-crime areas on the South and West Sides in an all-out battle against gang crime.

The 65 feds are part of a group of 100 Chicago agents already assigned to curb gang and violent crimes.”

And it’s of no surprise that the CPD isn’t thrilled:

“It’s mind-boggling,” the top police source said. “It’s almost unheard of.”

“I thought the mayor and the police superintendent had said they don’t need more police on the streets,” the source added.

So let’s recap. In leiu of ‘don’t need more cops’, #CrimeIsDown and #ItsNotTheWeather, we have:

  • Millions in overtime
  • 165 FBI agents
  • 40 Illinois State Police troopers
  • 7 ATF agents
  • 150 desk jockeys assigned to the street

All we need is the National Guard and we’ll have YAHTZEE!!!

21 Comments

Excitable Youth

Posted on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014


It’s been a while since we’ve had ourselves a good wilding. With the Michigan Ave saturation teams in place over the summer, the chances of one on the Mag Mile is remote. Unless of course it’s the 4th of July, then no amount of cops will stop “kids from being kids”.

In any event, some “excitable youth” took to the streets of Uptown the other night in order to get to know the neighborhood better:

“No one was arrested when police dispersed a large group of teens—what some residents called a “wilding” — Monday night in Uptown.

It started out as a peaceful birthday gathering in the Field House at Chase Park. However, after it ended around 10 p.m. Monday night, the sweet sixteen party quickly soured and the party goers turned into a frightening group of vandals as they stormed down Leland.

Video of the incident was captured by a resident on Leland. It shows some of the teens walking down the middle of the street, but it’s what the video did not capture that has residents in the neighborhood angry.”

Angry? Why would the neighborhood be angry? There were no arrests, so that means there’s no crime. Just another “minor incident”.

UPDATE: Our friends over at CWB have documented another case of excitable youths doing excitable things in Uptown last night.

6 Comments

Minor Incident

Posted on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

tis_but_a_scratchBy now you’ve likely heard that two young honor students caught lead at the annual Bud Billiken Parade. You’ll be thrilled to learn that shootings of this type, hell, just about any shooting, will now be classified as a “minor incident”.

“Bud Billiken Parade organizers on Sunday bemoaned local media focus on the shooting of two teenagers at the event instead of the celebration.

“It’s a shame to waste that time on a minor incident that occurred,” parade organizer Beverly Reed-Scott said at a news conference Sunday afternoon at the corner of 42nd Street and Martin Luther King Drive.”

In most places, any time a teenager get shot, especially near or on school grounds, the usual suspects lose their collective shit, do a lot of hand-wringing and preach to us low-brow, knuckle-dragging hillbillies how it would be best if you gave up your guns (not theirs). After all, it’s for the children, of course.

But that’s not how it works here in Chicago. The 416 teenagers who have been shot (with 65 killed) this year are in most cases classified as “minor incidents”. Unless of course it’s politically exploitable, then we’ll assume that’s what’s called a “major incident” or “a big fuckin’ deal”.

At least Ms. Reed-Scott has a solution: “Asked if she thought the media not covering violence would make a difference, Reed-Scott said: “Absolutely.”"

No report, no crime.

14 Comments

The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, August 8th, 2014

The Triple FacepalmAnd… we’re back! A short August recess has not only successfully recharged the batteries but only left 17 shot in our absence. Once again, we’re ready to start counting the stupid, the idiotic and the ultra moronic exploits of Chicago’s Honor Students.

ICYMI – From now on, shootings will also be known as “minor incidents” when they involve minority males between the ages of 16 and 85. We’ll assume anything outside of that range will be a “major incident”.

Final Stupidity Tally: 1 killed, 28 wounded.

Friday 8/8
5:35p 2800 N Pulaski Rd, Avondale, M/24
9:40p 200 W 118th St, West Pullman, M/16
11:50p 1500 S Christiana, North Lawndale, M/32
Saturday 8/9
5:50a 1400 W 73rd St, Englewood, M/21
5:50a 1400 W 73rd St, Englewood, M/32
6:25a 100 W 117th St, West Pullman, M/16
11:00a 35th St/Green Line, M/22 (Selfie)
12:30p 4200 S King Dr, Grand Boulevard, M/17 !
12:30p 4200 S King Dr, Grand Boulevard, M/18

1:05p 1800 S Wood St, Lower W. Side, F/16
3:10p 5700 S Shields, Englewood, M/23 !
9:30p 500 E 42nd Pl, Grand Boulevard, M/42
Sunday 8/10
12:15a 5500 S Carpenter St, Englewood M/28
12:30a 7100 S Morgan St, Englewood, M/28
1:00a 6300 S Ashland Ave, Englewood, M/20
3:40a 6500 S Maryland Ave, Woodlawn, M/19
4:10a 1200 N Springfield Ave, Humboldt Park, M/17
4:50a 8900 S Oglesby Ave, Calumet Heights, M/24
6:15a 4600 S Paulina, New City, M/16
8:50a 900 N Drake Ave, Humboldt Park, M/20 !
1:50p 7400 N Ridge, Rogers Park, M/20
3:00p 4000 S Indiana Ave, Grand Boulevard, F/17
3:05p 5300 S Aberdeen, New City, M/22
3:35p 12300 S Michigan, West Pullman, M/35
4:35p 6700 S Langley, Woodlawn, M/26 !
4:45p 6700 S Champlain, Woodlawn, M/16
7:00p 8400 S Kilbourn, Ashburn, M/21
8:30p 5913 S Justine, Englewood, M/16
Monday Overtime
2:45a 4124 W North Ave, Humboldt Park, M/28

Key:
shooting
homicide
police-involved shooting
! #ShotInTheAss

18 Comments

R&R

Posted on Monday, August 4th, 2014

Sorry folks, we're taking some time off.Believe it or not, but in the year and a half that we’ve been doing this, we’ve never taken any time off. So, we’re going to take it easy for the next few days and recharge the old batteries. In the meantime, enjoy the following stories:

That’s all folks! We’ll catch y’all later in the week.

12 Comments

shootapaloozaWith Lollapalooza back in town this weekend, it’s time to roll out the Shootapalooza moniker once again (w/ a new logo too). Just like the past few weekends, we’ll display each and every act of stupidity as it’s recorded. Shootapalooza 2013 tallied two (2) dead and another 24 wounded.

Final Shootapalooza tally: 5 killed, 25 wounded.

Friday 8/1
6:05p 600 E 37th Pl, Oakland, F/16
8:10p 13000 S Champlain Ave, Riverdale, M/24 !
8:40p 13200 S Riverdale Ave, Riverdale, M/26
8:40p 13200 S Riverdale Ave, Riverdale, M/29
10:30p 1400 W Elmdale Ave, Edgewater, M/19
11:05p 2944 W Harrison, Garfield Park, M/26
11:30p 2358 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/16
11:30p 2358 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/15 !
11:30p 2358 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/18
11:30p 3900 W North Ave, Humboldt Park, M/28
11:55p 5600 S Seeley Ave, Englewood, M/28
11:55p 5600 S Seeley Ave, Englewood, M/28
Saturday 8/2
12:15a 8502 S Exchange, South Chicago, M/33
1:50a 700 E 83rd St, Chatham, M/32
1:50a 700 E 83rd St, Chatham, M/39
1:50a 700 E 83rd St, Chatham, M/61
1:50a 7900 S Merrill, South Chicago, M/19
7:00a 11400 S Yale Ave, Roseland, M/20
2:45p 6600 S St. Lawrence, Woodlawn, M/22
Sunday 8/3
3:50a 873 N Orleans, Near North Side, M/32
3:50a 873 N Orleans, Near North Side, M/21
6:00a 5700 S Morgan, Englewood, M/32
3:00p 8600 S Colfax Ave, South Chicago, M/27
3:00p 8600 S Colfax Ave, South Chicago, M/32
3:00p 8600 S Colfax Ave, South Chicago, M/33
7:25p 4100 W Jackson Blvd, Garfield Park, M/33
9:00p 1100 W 112th Pl, Morgan Park, M/17
Monday Overtime
12:15a 8600 S Colfax Ave, South Chicago, M/43
1:00a 7700 S Shore Dr, South Shore, M/42
4:30a 7100 S Damen Ave, Englewood, M/22

Key:
shooting
homicide
! #ShotInTheAss

22 Comments

Three Hundred Twenty Two

Posted on Friday, August 1st, 2014

CarnacIn our short time of Internet existence we’ve never broken the 300 shooting barrier. We suppose there’s a first for everything and now Chicago’s honor students have managed to rack up a stupidly impressive 322 people shot which left 42 dead. Last July tallied 256 people shot which left 47 dead. In other words, “More Lead, Less Dead”.

We’re impressed with Rahm and Garry’s new strategy, “Less Cops, More Docs”. Instead attempting to stop the stupidity, focus on poor shot placement, quick ambulance response times and the ability of our medical professionals to stitch and mend our honor students so that they can get shot again and again. All on the taxpayer’s dime of course.

Prediction-wise, we stated on July 1: For July, were going to stick with the ‘more lead, less dead’ theme and predict 45 (+/- 4) homicides with 250 (+/- 10) shot and wounded. Nailed the homicide part, but missed the wounded part by 30.

For August we’ll go with 50 homicides (+/- 5) and 260 (+/- 10) shot and wounded.

What say you? Maybe we’ll have a contest but we’ll have to check with our legal department first.

PS – Thanks to everyone for making July our most heavily trafficked month yet (+142% YoY). Monday July 7th was our busiest day ever.

14 Comments

Thursday Humor

Posted on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

As we wrap up what will likely be the shittiest month in years in terms of total persons shot, we thought we’d have a little fun before the annual Shootapalooza weekend. Enjoy.

1 Comment