Thanksgiving Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, November 28th, 2015

3 Stooges ThanksgivingWith a slightly more than an 86 minute gap, we now join our special, extended Thanksgiving Weekend Stupidity already in progress.

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 22 wounded
2014 Thanksgiving weekend: 5 killed, 23 wounded
2013 Thanksgiving weekend: 4 killed, 12 wounded

Wednesday 11/25
12:30p 2800 N Austin, Belmont Cragin, M/19
3:30p 4900 W Erie, Austin, M/22
4:05p 6600 S Lowe, Englewood, M/16
10:15p 3400 W Chicago, Humboldt Park, M/24
11:55p 3352 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/16
1:20p 2200 W Thome, West Ridge, M/23
2:35p 13400 South Ave O, Hegewisch, M/27
3:15p 5000 S Forrestville, Grand Boulevard, M/19
#000000 Friday
1:20a 7800 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/31
2:40a 3400 S California, Little Village, M/45
3:15a 2100 S Wabash, Near South Side, M/31
1:20p 100 N Hamlin, Garfield Park, M/36
10:45p 1400 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/14
Saturday 11/28
1:30a 1200 N Central, Austin, M/20
4:10p Body Found Near Belmont Harbor
5:00p 6600 S Marshfield, Englewood, M/26
8:55p 2756 W 24th, Little Village, M/32

9:00p 3935 W Division, Humboldt Park, M/21
11:10p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/28
Sunday 11/29
12:20a 5300 S Union, New City, M/27
12:20a 5300 S Union, New City, F/32
1:50a 5500 S State, Washington Park, M/33
5:10a 5400 S Hoyne, New City, M/23
5:45a 5400 S Menard, Garfield Ridge, M/22
3:50p 9200 S Halsted, Washington Heights, M/25
6:30p 1300 N Mayfield, Austin, M/23
6:30p 7300 S Luella, South Shore, M/26
7:55p 900 W 59th, Englewood, M/28
8:45p 6700 S Western, Chicago Lawn, M/32
8:45p 6700 S Western, Chicago Lawn, M/49
11:40p 1500 N Paulina, West Town, M/?
Monday Overtime
3:30a 7500 S South Shore, South Shore, M/48

Weekend = 12p Wednesday – 6a Monday


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Just A Coincidence

Posted on Tuesday, November 24th, 2015

DiceWith the McDonald police shooting video dropping any moment now, we’re sure it’s just a coincidence that the officer involved is just now getting hit with a first degree murder charge:

A Chicago Police officer accused of shooting a knife-wielding teen 16 times a year ago, killing him in a run-in captured on video, will be charged with first-degree murder, a law enforcement source said Monday.

The charges against Officer Jason Van Dyke are expected Tuesday in the October 2014 shooting death of Laquan McDonald, 17, the law enforcement source said.

The officer, assigned to desk duty since the shooting, is not yet in custody, but is expected to show up at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse Tuesday for a bond hearing, the source said.

The charges come as Chicagoans brace for the release of the squad car dashcam video of the shooting, described by those who have seen it as horrific.

This may help defuse things a little bit, because one of the main ingredients in police shooting unrest is the ‘cop who gets away with it’. On the other hand, numerous choirs, scout troops and honor students have had plenty of time to plan for “spontaneous” stupidity making the above indictment meaningless.

OVERCHARGED: Police Officer Who Shot Laquan McDonald Charged With First Degree Murder Prediction: the murder charge won’t stick and he’ll walk free.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, November 20th, 2015

Pre storm dibsThe best crime prevention tool available is the weather and with the first major snow of the year along with some bitter cold, we’re not expecting much this weekend. Instead, we’ll keep a look out for the video which may liven things up a bit.

Alternative headline: Weekend “Chi-raq” Premiere Party Leaves 6 Dead and 13 Wounded.

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 13 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 15 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 3 killed, 14 wounded

Friday 11/20
12:10p 6300 S Fairfield, Chicago Lawn, F/23 (update)
1:00p 800 N Central, Austin, M/23
2:15p 11600 S Morgan, West Pullman, M/20
4:30p 6600 S Claremont, Chicago Lawn, M/20
7:45p 7000 S Calumet, Grand Crossing, M/24
Saturday 11/21
1:10a 1200 W 71st, Englewood, M/38
1:35a 6500 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/26
4:15a 3300 W LeMoyne, Humboldt Park, M/20
10:30a Trolley Violence Leaves One Dead
3:00p Fire at the John Hancock Center
8:30p 6200 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/29 (450)
Sunday 11/22
1:15a 1000 N Hamlin, Humboldt Park, F/40 (story)
3:10a 100 W 109th, Roseland, M/24
12:25p 7900 S Halsted, Auburn Gresham, M/42
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/21
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/22
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/34
1:25p 4100 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, F/45
2:50p 7100 S Morgan, Englewood, M/20
5:40p 2900 W 54th, Gage Park, F/19
7:35p 5400 W Race, Austin, M/35
8:00p 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/36
8:40p 5700 S Union, Englewood, M/19

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit: NBC 5 Chicago


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Videotape Update

Posted on Thursday, November 19th, 2015

VHS TapeAs expected, the video release is a go:

Hours after a Cook County judge ordered the release of the video of a controversial Chicago police shooting, city lawyers did an abrupt about face Thursday and announced they would not oppose those efforts after all.

In a statement issued on Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s behalf, the city said it would release by next Wednesday – as the judge ordered — the video of an officer shooting 17-year-old Laquan McDonald 16 times, killing him.

“Police officers are entrusted to uphold the law and to provide safety to our residents,” the mayor’s statement said. “In this case, unfortunately, it appears an officer violated that trust at every level. As a result, the city’s Independent Police Review Authority promptly sent this case and the evidence to state and federal prosecutors who have been investigating it for almost a year.

“In accordance with the judge’s ruling, the City will release the video by November 25, which we hope will provide prosecutors time to expeditiously bring their investigation to a conclusion so Chicago can begin to heal.”

Unfortunately, it’s likely that some jagoffs will use this as an excuse to break shit because nothing says justice like looting and burning down the corner Kwik-E-Mart.


For The Children Update

Posted on Wednesday, November 18th, 2015

Warning Revenue CameraIf the day ends with a ‘y’, there is a good chance someone is getting a ticket/fine/fee for something they didn’t do. After all, when the city/state/fed is broke, revenue extraction becomes a priority above all else. Therefore, it shouldn’t be much of surprise that many of those ‘safety violations’ are bogus:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s speed camera program improperly issued more than $2.4 million in fines to Chicago drivers, ticketing them when cameras were supposed to be off and when the required warning signs were confusing, obscured or missing, a Tribune investigation has found.

At the same time, City Hall has systematically ticketed drivers near schools without the legally required evidence of a schoolchild in sight. A Tribune random-sample analysis puts the number of those questionable tickets at about 110,000.

And while it was pitched by the mayor as a way to protect youngsters walking near parks and schools, the most prolific cameras in the 2-year-old “Children’s Safety Zone” initiative can be found along major roadways, where crash data show child pedestrians are least likely to be struck by speeders.”

Again, the idea that these cameras are for safety and are there to “protect youngsters” is ridiculous. They’re nothing more than a revenue extraction scheme wrapped in safety vest.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, November 14th, 2015

Porta-potty fireThe slow, upward grind towards 500 homicides and 3,000 people shot will continue until morale improves.

Final Stupidity Tally: 1 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 2 killed, 18 wounded

Friday 11/13
2:15p 800 W Buena, Uptown, M/17
5:20p 3500 W Pierce, Humboldt Park, M/43
11:50p 100 S Kostner, Garfield Park, M/18
11:50p 100 S Kostner, Garfield Park, M/23
Saturday 11/14
4:00a 5500 S Winchester, Englewood, M/24
9:35a 100 S Homan, Garfield Park, M/22
10:35a 7500 S Peoria, Auburn Gresham, M/16
12:30p 1600 W Howard, Rogers Park, M/25
6:45p 5900 W Wrightwood, Belmont Cragin, M/19
8:10p 1501 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/28
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/39
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/41
9:40p 4000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/45
Sunday 11/15
3:50a 4100 N Drake, Irving Park, M/16
4:15a 6000 N Western, West Ridge, F/24
2:40p 5500 S Damen, Englewood, M/29
4:00p 6600 S Union, Englewood, M/20
4:00p 6600 S Union, Englewood, M/21
11:00p 100 E 100th, Roseland, M/21
Monday Overtime
12:00a 800 W Sunnyside, Uptown, M/24
1:20a 5400 S Paulina, New City, M/28

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Comments are off for this post.

Ammo Tax

Posted on Friday, November 13th, 2015

ammoWhen looking for the ideal combination of stupid and useless, one would be hard pressed to find a better match than the Cook County Board of Commissioners. In proving their uselessness, the geniuses are looking to levy a hefty tax on ammunition (in addition to the 10.25% sales tax) because the county is broke to help fund more graft programs.

The Cook County Board of Commissioners will vote on a proposal Friday to impose a countywide tax on ammunition, a measure advocates say would curb gun violence while shoring up new revenue for the county.

Proposed by Commissioner Richard Boykin, who represents most of West Side Chicago, the tax would add an extra cent to the cost of each .22 caliber bullet and five cents apiece for larger ammo, like 9-millimeter rounds.

Boykin predicted the tax would raise about $133,000 in its first year and more than $300,000 in its second year, “deflating the cost” of gun violence to taxpayers across the county.

This will do absolutely nothing to curb gun gang violence and the predicted haul won’t come anywhere close, nor will it “deflate the cost” of anything. What will be “deflated” is the sales tax revenue that will now find itself moving towards Lake, Kane, McHenry, DuPage and Will counties, plus Indiana. As always, those locals thank Cook County for their self-inflicted stupidity.


Let’s Go To The Videotape

Posted on Wednesday, November 11th, 2015

VHS TapeLate last fall, the city quickly, seemingly without question and to the surprise of many, paid out $5 million of taxpayer funds for a police shooting. Typically, the city only pays out after numerous court proceedings, however this incident came with a dashboard camera video. It’s now possible that the video will be made public:

“The video, without sound, is said to show Laquan McDonald, a 17-year-old African-American reportedly with PCP in his system, holding a small knife. He was shot to death by a white Chicago police officer, Jason Van Dyke, on the night of Oct. 20, 2014, at 41st and Pulaski on the Southwest Side.

City officials said police, responding to a call of a man slashing tires, followed McDonald carefully and calmly as he wandered. They called for backup and Tasers. Then McDonald walked out onto Pulaski Road.

Only one cop opened fire, shooting 16 times in all, and the video is said to show the rounds hitting McDonald in the back, the legs, arms, neck and head, the bullets making the body jump again and again.

On Nov. 19, Cook County Judge Franklin Valderrama is expected to rule whether the video should be released.”

It sounds like it checks all the politically exploitable boxes needed in order for some shit to go down – a black teenager, a white cop, some excessive force, etc… The only thing missing is a flag.


Momma Needs a NEW CAR!

Posted on Tuesday, November 10th, 2015

New Car!Quite the power couple here:

“As the mother of slain 9-year-old Tyshawn Lee denies allegations that she spent funeral donations on a new car, the boy’s father apparently was asking for funeral money as well.

Karla Lee removed her Instagram and Facebook accounts after defending the purchase of a new car on Saturday, but some videos of her defending the car purchase remain online.

According to unverified Facebook posts Saturday, Lee posted on Facebook that she spent money from her son’s GoFundMe page on the car, then deleted her account due to overwhelming negative reaction.

Lee later told ABC7 that she used her own money for the car. The fundraiser was closed Sunday morning after raising more than $17,000.”

Imagine that. People had a negative reaction to their funeral donations being used for a new car. And not to be out done, the father took time off in helping the police find his son’s killer(s) to whip up some t-shirts:

“In another bizarre twist, Tyshawn’s father — whose gang ties police say led to his son’s execution — appears to have started another GoFundMe page seeking donations for funeral expenses. The page was quickly taken down after comments criticizing the move flooded in.”

Stay classy.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, November 6th, 2015

Sledgehammer Junk ShotA very warm week flows into a normal, cool fall weekend, but with two hat tricks already on the board the tone for the weekend may have been set.

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 13 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 0 killed, 11 wounded

Friday 11/6
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/15
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/17
12:55p 7000 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, F/17
5:30p 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/32
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/19
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/27
7:55p 1400 N Kildare, Humboldt Park, M/51
9:00p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/17
10:50p 3200 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/23
Saturday 11/7
2:50a 1100 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/56
4:55a 3000 S Keeler, Little Village, M/27
1:00p 4300 S Rockwell, Brighton Park, M/16
1:00p 4300 S Rockwell, Brighton Park, M/18
6:00p 8600 S Cottage Grove, Chatham, M/24
9:30p 2200 W 59th, Gage Park, M/14
10:40p 1200 W 19th, Lower W Side, F/29
10:45p 5900 S Union, Englewood, M/43
11:20p 7300 S Morgan, Englewood, M/17
Sunday 11/8
12:30a 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/25
4:15a Dan Ryan/Roosevelt, Near West Side, F/?
6:55a 1100 S Francisco, North Lawndale, M/50
12:30p 11600 S Lowe, West Pullman, M/2
12:30p 11600 S Lowe, West Pullman, M/24
6:25p 10700 S Indiana, Roseland, F/26

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit


No Peeking

Posted on Friday, November 6th, 2015

heres_johnnyRemember when Tiny’s son was beat up by his dealer beat and robbed of his phone while talking to his college counselor at 10p on a Friday night? Apparently, as a police officer you’re not allowed to look at police reports, well, certain police reports anyway:

“A routine audit several months ago found that 11 Chicago Police officers had “inappropriately accessed police reports” from a Dec. 19, 2014, robbery in Ravenswood, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in an emailed statement Thursday night.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s son Zach was robbed about 10 p.m. that night in the 4200 block of North Hermitage in the Ravenswood neighborhood.

Each of the 11 officers received one-day suspensions and formal reprimands for violating department policy, Guglielmi wrote.”

No matter. Head on over to CWBChicago and have a look at the report yourself, no one-day suspensions and formal reprimands required.


Hero to Zero

Posted on Wednesday, November 4th, 2015

ZEROAfter a couple of days, that whole “hero cop gunned down by three thugs” meme started to smell funny.

“Upending the portrayal of Lt. Charles Joseph Gliniewicz as a hero cop tragically gunned down in the line of duty just before his planned retirement, authorities on Wednesday said the Fox Lake officer died in a suicide he staged as it became clear he could face consequences for years of criminal behavior.

At a news conference, Lake County Major Crime Task Force Cmdr. George Filenko said Gliniewicz, 52, shot himself in a “carefully staged suicide” designed to look like a murder after he had engaged in “extensive criminal acts.”

Gliniewicz ran the village’s Explorers program, which gave youths interested in policing exposure to the field, and he had been stealing and laundering money for years, Filenko said. Gliniewicz stole a dollar amount in the five figures and used the money for personal expenses, including mortgage payments, travel and adult websites, Filenko said.”

What a hero. How much taxpayer money was spent looking for ghosts? How many people had their rights violated by the massive police response that included roadblocks and door to door searches? (The type of response every individual would receive if they were murdered staged a suicide.)

Selfish jagoff.

UPDATE: Fox Lake Officer’s Wife, Son Under Criminal Investigation

UPDATE 2: Our hero “tried to arrange for a gang member “to put a hit” on a village administrator because he feared she would discover he had been embezzling money.

UPDATE 3: It just doesn’t stop with this guy: Officials probe whether Fox Lake cop, son staged sham marriage


A Good Guy With A Gun

Posted on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2015

Self Defense ZoneIt’s often said that the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun (or a bunch of laws and signs of course).

“Carolina Cabrales says she was more confused than afraid when a masked robber grabbed her 13-year-old brother, put a gun to his head and dragged him inside the family-owned currency exchange in Chicago’s Gage Park neighborhood over the weekend.

The 17-year-old said she was near the counter and immediately recognized the voice of the robber as the neighbor from around the block who worked at the store when she was little. He had even nicknamed her Junior because she looked so much like her mother.

Then suddenly there was gunfire, and the robber, Reginald Gildersleeve, lay dead from several gunshots fired by a customer who had a concealed carry license and a valid gun owner’s card, according to police and witnesses.

Police said it was unlikely that the customer will face charges.”

Good. No further commentary necessary.


Halloween Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 30th, 2015

A Rahm kind of HalloweenSecond only to St. Patrick’s Day in terms of drunken idiocy, Halloween is guaranteed to be a shitshow in one way or another.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 28 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 15 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 5 killed, 10 wounded

Friday 10/30
5:40p 2700 W Cermak, Little Village, M/30
5:45p 4400 S Marshfield, New City, M/18
6:10p 11300 S Racine, Morgan Park, M/66
7:00p 1500 N Pulaski, North Lawndale, M/31
9:30p 8100 S Throop, Auburn Gresham, M/28
10:00p 1200 S Central Park, North Lawndale, M/17
10:15p 5600 S Shields, Englewood, M/18
10:30p 3100 W Monroe, Garfield Park, F/21
12:15a 2900 S State, Douglas, M/15
12:25a 7800 S Shore, South Shore, M/43 (story)
3:10a 6700 S Parnell, Englewood, F/15
3:30a 6300 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/46
3:30a 600 N Lockwood, Austin, M/37
4:10a 11700 S Church, Morgan Park, M/31
5:15a 2100 S Oakley, Lower W Side, M/62
5:30a 3100 S Pulaski, Little Village, M/?
7:00p 2700 W 51st, Gage Park, M/55 (justified)
10:25p 5700 W Fullerton, Belmont Cragin, M/23
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/21
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/23
11:00p 9000 S Greenwood, Burnside, M/34
Sunday 11/1
1:25a 4900 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/26
8:35a 4100 W 31st, Little Village, M/23
10:45a 7000 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
10:45a 7000 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
12:35p 5000 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/23
2:35p 7600 S Parnell, Grand Crossing, M/10
4:15p 4900 S Champlain, Grand Boulevard, M/23
7:10p 8700 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, M/19
8:50p 5400 W Van Buren, Austin, M/26
Monday Overtime
1:05a 1400 N Lawndale, Humboldt Park, F/23

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Cartoon credit


Take Your Medicine

Posted on Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

PoisonIt was quite the banner day in Chicago in terms of confiscation and giveaways. First up, “Mayor Rahm Emanuel, aldermen ask taxpayers ‘to take medicine’ to cure ‘municipal illness’“:

After weeks of discussion, debate and flat-out complaining by some, Ald. Patrick O’Connor told his colleagues it finally was time for Chicago to face up to its woeful condition. O’Connor, an alderman since 1983, said decades of financial mismanagement had brought them to the point where approving a budget stacked with $755 million in new taxes and fees was the lone remaining option.

“Nobody wants to be told you’re sick, you need to take medicine. You need chemo. You need an operation. This is an equivalent of a municipal illness,” said O’Connor, 40th. “We don’t have an option of saying, ‘No.’ We have the option of picking our choices to stay alive.”

A breakdown of the new taxes and fees shows:

  • $543MM property tax for police and fire pensions
  • $45MM property tax hike for school construction
  • $62MM in new garbage pickup fees
  • $48MM in taxi and ride-share fare and fee hikes
  • $40MM in new taxes on streaming services and cloud businesses
  • $13MM in more expensive building permit fees
  • $2MM to remove vehicle boots
  • $1MM in e-cigarette taxes

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ledger, a breakdown of accompanying cuts shows:

  • $0

We’re going to speculate that none of the above figures will be anywhere close to the actual returns and that another round of hikes will be needed to make up for the shortfall.

Speaking of shortfall, these same idiots approved the leasing of prime lakefront property (for $10) for a ‘museum’ to display a mediocre-at-best director’s toy collection:

“Star Wars” filmmaker George Lucas’ proposed 300,000-square-foot museum to house his trove of art and movie memorabilia on the shore of Lake Michigan cleared its final major city hurdle Wednesday as the Chicago City Council voting to approve zoning for the project.

City approval of the Lucas museum seemed all but ordained, given the strong support Emanuel has thrown behind the concept and the fact aldermen are loath to draw the mayor’s ire by opposing projects he has made a high priority.

This sort of fanboi crap usually works best as a temporary exhibit in LA or Vegas, not in a permanent salt pile/circus tent on the lake.

Yub nub!


(Not) Doing Hard Time

Posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2015

Sideshow BobFrequently mentioned within articles pertaining to an apprehended honor student(s) is not their GPA but their previous convictions. Many times the simple math of conviction date, sentence handed down and time served doesn’t add up.

This past weekend, a few jagoffs who, by applying simple math, shouldn’t be on the streets anyway, partook in some undocumented borrowing:

A man previously convicted of a separate robbery and another man on probation for narcotics charges appeared in court Monday after being charged with stabbing and robbing a tourist visiting Chicago with his girlfriend near Oak Street Beach over the weekend, police said.

The tourist, 27-year-old Neil McCarthy, chased and tackled one of the robbers after tracking down his stolen iPhone, according to police and the couple.

Judge James Brown set bail at $950,000 for Noe Mondragon, 22, who was charged with aggravated battery and armed robbery, said Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

Mondragon, of the 4100 block of South Artesian Avenue, was convicted in December 2014 of a separate robbery, records show. He was sentenced to three years in the Illinois Department of Corrections and was given 80 days credit for time already served for the 2014 conviction, records show.

Brown set a $500,000 bail for Luis Salgado-Camargo, 18, said Scaduto, who added that Salgado-Camargo also violated his probation on three pending narcotics cases.

At least the victim got the better of them.

We’re pretty sure that three years worth of days is 365 x 3 = 1,095 days which is slightly greater than 80 days.

Also, we’d be curious to know how these guys obtained such deadly weapons. Do they have KOID cards and/or concealed knife permits? Did the pass a background check? Did they take advantage of the knife show loophole?


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 23rd, 2015

Dumpster Fire

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 28 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 35 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 3 killed, 14 wounded

Friday Pre-game
8:00a 1400 W 85th, Auburn Gresham, M/28
9:05a 5000 W Le Moyne, Austin, M/28
11:00a 12000 S Perry, West Pullman, M/24
Friday 10/23
3:00p 5100 N Austin, Jefferson Park, M/17
4:10p 1400 W 107th, Washington Heights, M/20
4:10p 1400 W 107th, Washington Heights, M/23
8:45p 5300 W North, Austin, M/43
9:15p 7500 S Stewart, Grand Crossing, M/16
11:40p 7100 N Sheridan, Rogers Park, M/22
Saturday 10/24
12:30a 2500 S Harding, Little Village, F/45
1:10a 7100 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/23
2:45a 100 N Waller, Austin, M/40
3:55a 2400 S St. Louis, Little Village, M/48
4:30a 200 S Kilbourn, Garfield Park, M/35
6:15a Undocumented borrowing in Lincoln Park
3:30p 6500 S Maryland, Woodlawn, M/27
4:50p 5300 S Union, New City, M/23
6:15p 11700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, M/40
9:00p 10900 S Mackinaw, East Side, F/26
9:05p 200 E 47th, Grand Boulevard, M/17
10:15p 900 N Leclaire, Austin, M/28
11:45p Late night beachside misunderstanding
11:55p 9100 S Harvard, Roseland, M/59 (SiTA)
Sunday 10/25
12:40a 6000 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, M/37
2:45a 4500 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/26
2:50a 200 N Saint Louis, Garfield Park, M/21
11:20a 6300 S King, Grand Crossing, F/22
2:50p 6800 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, F/15
2:50p 6800 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/20
4:15p 4700 S Calumet, Grand Boulevard, M/20
6:25p 2000 E 75th, South Shore, M/48
7:00p 2200 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/22
7:00p 2200 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/27
7:10p 5200 S Homan, Gage Park, M/20
7:30p 800 E 82nd, Chatham, M/16
8:45p 5900 W Superior, Austin, F/24
11:40p 2100 W Adams, Near West Side, M/24
Monday Overtime
12:35a 1600 N Francisco, West Town, M/18
1:30a 4800 W Madison, Austin, M/29
2:15a 5100 S Michigan, Washington Park, F/89

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Wait ‘Til Next Year

Posted on Wednesday, October 21st, 2015

L Flag Well, crap. It was a hell of a run and at least we beat those jagoffs from St. Louis. We’ll now return to ignoring baseball for the next 11 months.

Update: Steve Bartman: ‘You Must Kill Me To Break The Cubs’ Curse’


Money Well Spent

Posted on Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Super SoakerChicago is broke. Illinois is broke. But that’s not a reason to stop a feel good, yet completely useless rusty metal recycling program:

Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced a new city fund Monday aimed at allowing community organizations to host gun buy-back events in Chicago.

The $250,000 fund allows churches and community-based organizations to host their own gun buy-back events, with the assistance of Chicago police staff.

Organizations can apply to host an event through the police department and will be responsible for organizing and advertising the events. Residents that bring in guns will be given cash cards in return – no questions asked.

While the move is another attempt at curbing the gun violence that has plagued Chicago over the years, questions still remain as to whether or not gun buy-back events are effective.

A 2004 report by the U.S. Department of Justice states that “guns recovered through buybacks and turn-in campaigns are the least likely to have been involved in crime.”


Every single time one of these events are held, nearly all the weapons that are turned in are old, rusty and broken. $100 for a non-functional, busted up p.o.s. is a much better deal than just throwing it out.

Better yet, donate your worthless lead delivery device and send some kids to camp.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 16th, 2015

George Costanza shirkageWith forecasted low temps pushing freezing and highs only in the low 50s, we were expecting “significant shrinkage” amongst the usage of undocumented lead delivery devices and those they control. However, we didn’t end up getting much shrinkage at all.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 20 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 22 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 0 killed, 8 wounded

Friday Pre-game
7:30a 6000 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/31 (story)
Friday 10/16
6:00p 2000 E 75th, South Shore, M/19 (#selfie)
8:30p 11500 S Elizabeth, West Pullman, M/19
Saturday 10/17
12:20a 3800 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/27 (#selfie)
3:05a 200 E 118th, West Pullman, M/27
4:30a 1600 N Humboldt, Humboldt Park, M/30
4:40a 3300 W Warren, Garfield Park, M/24
4:55a 3800 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/21
5:00a 300 N Cicero, Austin, M/23
2:30p 8500 S Pulaski, Ashburn, M/40
8:40p 6400 S Ellis, Woodlawn, M/35
8:45p 3300 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/26
9:00p 100 E 53rd, Washington Park, M/22
9:00p 1000 N Francisco, West Town, M/3 (story)
9:15p 5500 W Altgeld, Belmont Cragin, M/36
10:10p 7958 S Lafyette, Chatham, M/38
Sunday 10/18
2:00a 10600 S Prairie, Roseland, M/22 (photos)
2:00a 10600 S Prairie, Roseland, M/19
2:55a Wrigley Field Cam Brawl (story)
3:00p 6700 S Bell, Chicago Lawn, M/40
4:25p 7800 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, F/19
4:25p 7800 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, M/20
5:50p 2500 N Kilbourn, Hermosa, M/18
5:50p 2500 N Kilbourn, Hermosa, M/17
11:55p 3500 E 97th, East Side, M/32

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Lincoln Park Stupidity

Posted on Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

We linked to this event in our Weekend Stupidity breakdown, but it’s just too dumb for it to not have its own post. Watch and marvel at how an undocumented lead delivery device not only convinces this woman to pull its trigger but also likely made her drink to excess and become belligerent with others around her.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, October 9th, 2015

Harry Caray and Hillary ClintonHello again everybody! It’s beautiful weekend for baseball (and stupidity). Go Cubs!

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 16 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 18 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 1 killed, 8 wounded

Friday Pre-game
10:30a 4100 W End Ave, Garfield Park, M/23
11:15a 9300 S Ashland, Washington Heights, M/23
Friday 10/9
12:35p 2900 E 126th, South Deering, M/62 (story)
12:45p 4900 W Congress, Austin, M/15 (story)
Cubs 0 Cardinals 4
11:00p 5300 S Artesian, Gage Park, M/19
Saturday 10/10
12:30a 9500 S Green, Washington Heights, F/16
2:10a Lincoln Park Stupidity Caught on Video
3:10a 2100 W Cullerton, Lower W Side, M/19
3:20a 1100 N Lawler, Austin, M/33
4:10a 3900 W Ferdinand, Humboldt Park, M/17

Cubs 6 Cardinals 3
10:55p 7900 S Lowe, Auburn Gresham, M/30
11:10p 600 E 133rd, Riverdale, M/20
Sunday 10/11
12:55a 7900 S Yates, South Chicago, M/48
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/21 (party foul)
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/22
3:00a 1100 S Jefferson, Near W. Side, M/22
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/35
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/40
4:20a 5400 S Prairie, Washington Park, M/24
5:00a 5100 W Chicago, Austin, M/31
Bears Won Again!?
4:25p 1000 W 105th, Washington Heights, M/18
5:00p 1000 E 73rd, Grand Crossing, F/24
7:40p 215 N Laramie, Austin, M/22
11:55p 2500 W 68th, Chicago Lawn, M/30
Monday Overtime
3:05 AM 500 S Paulina, Near West Side, M/35

death investigation
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Market Maker Follies

Posted on Thursday, October 8th, 2015

FacepalmShocking! Create a black market and black market types things occur:

An alderman is warning that the sale of so-called “loosies” — single cigarettes — on the street has the potential of sparking gang wars in the city.

At a City Hall budget hearing Tuesday, Ald. Walter Burnett Jr. (27th) warned of gangs having turf battles over who was entitled to sell loose, untaxed cigarette on various street corners.

“You’re gonna have a gang war over loose cigarettes,” Burnett said. It’s one of those things we need to pay attention to or somebody’s gonna get hurt.”

Duh! Really?

Wally helps create a black market by raising taxes on a legal product in the name of health care and the children (of course). But when some undesirables see dollar signs and take advantage of the situation, the market makers seem surprised with the outcome.

Plus, isn’t selling “loosies” one of those “quality of life” crimes that these same aldermen were just complaining to GMath about the other day? When the cops enforce the ordinance, they bitch, when they don’t enforce the ordinance, they bitch some more. Quite the confounding situation.


Stand By Your Man

Posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Stand by your manFollowing yesterday’s Aldermanic proclamation that GMath has got to go since he personally has shot, killed, beaten and robbed everyone in Chicago since arriving, Tiny has declared that he will stand by his man:

“Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy got a vote of confidence Tuesday from Mayor Rahm Emanuel before facing a barrage of criticism at a City Council budget hearing from black aldermen who just a day ago called for his firing.

McCarthy’s annual afternoon in the hot seat in council chambers Tuesday took on an added element of drama after 15 of the 18 African-American aldermen said Monday that he had failed to address violence in their wards and to increase diversity in the upper ranks of the department, and urged Emanuel to replace him.

“I’m standing by him,” Emanuel said after appearing with McCarthy at a police awards ceremony in the City Council chambers that was attended by a dozen aldermen but none of the ones who called for his firing.

“My focus — and I want everyone’s focus — is on gangs and guns, not on Garry.”

We have a new slogan: Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry! Gangs! Guns! Not Garry!

Wait a second, that doesn’t sound right.



Posted on Monday, October 5th, 2015

GoatSomething isn’t adding up. On one hand we’re told shootings and homicides are up when compared to last year, but on the other hand we’re told that crime is down 30% and the city has never been safer. If the later is true, then what’s all the hubbub about?

First up, the good reverend is upset he can’t shakedown gun makers and places the blame for all the nation’s ills at the feet of some handheld devices that don’t have feet but operated by those that do:

“We believe a national state of emergency should be declared, banning people from carrying guns outside of their homes (hunters and law enforcement excepted),” the Rainbow PUSH Coalition said in a statement. “Parents who own guns must be held accountable for gun violence their children cause with their weapons. Gun trafficking should be made a felony and other gun laws strengthened and the penalties for violating them made better.”

Blowing up that statement should be easy for anyone with a basic understanding of the law, especially in Chicago. Rev also neglects to mention the 50-60 years of low level urban warfare that has been waged by a small percentage of neighborhood jagoffs despite all of the above always being illegal.

Next up, said neighborhood jagoffs’ aldermen want GMath out:

The City Council Black Caucus called Monday for the firing of Police Supt. Garry McCarthy.

“Supt. McCarthy’s leadership has failed our communities, and it is time for a substantial change,” said Ald. Roderick Sawyer (6th), caucus chairman. “It is clear that the current approach has been ineffective.”

“My constituents get sick and tired of hearing about statistics, and no action,” said Ald. Carrie Austin (34th).

“What’s going on today is not working,” added Ald. Jason Ervin (28th), who said the department had grown lax in prosecuting non-violent crime including drug dealing.

We’ve been critical of GMath and his “crime is down” and “it’s not the weather” nonsense, however he nor the CPD are the ones shooting, killing, robbing, beating, etc… in these wards. When the ward collectively doesn’t see shit or “heard shots, felt pain” or is “uncooperative”, and prosecutors and judges operate a rotating door criminal justice system, how are the cops supposed to do much of anything other than catch and release?



The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, October 3rd, 2015

Women Chicago police officersAfter running up the score with two consecutive 50+ shot weekends (here & here), it’s time to hit the range and a get ready for more optimal conditions in a few days. In the meantime, weather police strategies will cause common sense lacking lead delivery devices to maim the politically un-exploitable at a much slower rate (quietest weekend since last March).

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 13 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 32 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 4 killed, 13 wounded

Friday 10/2
10:10p 900 W 87th, Auburn Gresham, M/15
Saturday 10/3
3:00a 5600 N Broadway, Edgewater, M/41
8:00a 2800 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/29
12:05p 800 N Lawndale, Humboldt Park, M/20
5:00p 7500 S Kenwood, South Shore, M/29
5:00p 7500 S Kenwood, South Shore, M/20
Sunday 10/4
12:35a 5300 S Sacramento, Gage Park, M/21
3:45a 8400 S Komensky, Ashburn, M/27
8:30a 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/31 (story)
8:30a 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/?
11:45a 6400 S Honore, Englewood, F/14
3:15p 3100 S Princeton, Armour Square, M/15
8:00p 6800 S Loomis Englewood, M/?
8:35a 6400 S Hoyne, Englewood, F/21
8:40p 4500 S Troy, Brighton Park, M/16
8:55p 7300 S Kedzie, Chicago Lawn, F/55

police involved homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Numbers Game

Posted on Saturday, October 3rd, 2015

34452 With what will likely be the coolest weekend since early May, we thought we’d defer our usual weekend Stupidity Tally (of politically-un-exploitable-victims maimed or killed by non-common-sense-affiliated-devices) for a little bit and play a little game.

Whoever can tell us what this number represents will receive one of our few remaining t-shirts.* The closest and most detailed answer wins.

ANSWER: The number of homicides tallied in Chicago from October 1, 1965 – September 30, 2015, or 50 years worth.

WINNER: Messenger

Thanks to everyone who took a guess. You guys are a creative bunch. -WHT


September’s 61+

Posted on Thursday, October 1st, 2015

Roger Maris No 61Wow. What a shitshow September ended up being. 60+ homicides makes this September the deadliest since 2002. 362 total shot is a recent record as well. A few pending “death investigations” plus a late passing or two will only add to the shittiness.

Speaking of shitty, our September prediction couldn’t have been more wrong: “…we’ll predict a total of 45 (+/-4) homicides plus another 260 (+/-10) shot and wounded.” Way outside.

Final Stupidity Tally: 62 killed, 303 wounded
Last September’s Tally: 46 dead, 211 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 59 shot & killed
  • 3 killed via other means
  • 9 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 2 police-involved shootings (1 killed)
  • 48 in serious or critical condition
  • 55 males killed, 6 females
  • 81 teenagers shot, 10 killed
  • 22 grazed
  • 1 selfie
  • 21 #ShotInTheAss
  • CPD’s 11th District (west side) most active w/ 8 killed & 38 wounded

Last year, it was October when the level of stupidity started to pick up and exceed the previous year with 38 homicides and 215 shot and wounded. If October exceeds expectations like every other month so far this year, 500 homicides and 3,000 shot will be within scope. We’ll predict a total of 44 (+/-4) homicides plus another 250 (+/-10) shot and wounded.

Update: September’s 62nd homicide was a delayed call due to a burning car issue that has since been resolved.


Again With The “Values”

Posted on Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

Picard facepalmOur tagline of “Illustrating Chicago Values” came from the infamous Chick-fil-a kerfuffle of 2012 when Tiny declared that the company did not represent “Chicago values”. To this day, we’re not really sure what those values are supposed to be or who among us holds them.

Fast-forwarding to the present day, in light of the mass-to-back shootings on Monday, Tiny rewound the tape and pressed play on some well worn statements:

“You can say this happened in the neighborhood of the Back of the Yards, but everybody (who) woke up this morning, or heard it last night, felt a pain of anguish, and it’s time that our criminal justice system and the laws as it relates to access to guns and the penalties for using ’em reflect the values of the people of the city of Chicago,” Emanuel said.

What does that mean?

We’re going to go out on a limb here and assume that the shooters broke numerous laws that are already on the books, including, but not limited to, aggravated battery and murder. We’ll also go further out on the limb and speculate that the shooters have lengthy rap sheets who are no strangers to the aforementioned criminal justice system. And even further and speculate that the intended targets weren’t strangers either.

Additional laws will not make a difference, but maybe enforcing the ones that are already in place will.



Posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Safe PassageThe FBI defines a mass shooting as an event where four or more people are killed and/or wounded within the same incident. In just five hours last night, Chicago witness two such events that left five dead and five others injured:

“The first of those shootings occurred Monday evening when a family on their way back from an outing was gunned down in the Back of the Yards, leaving a pregnant mother and grandmother dead and three others — including an 11-month-old boy — wounded, police said.

The second multiple shooting occurred about five hours later when two men and the mother of a 4-year-old were killed and two other people were wounded near a playground in the Fuller Park neighborhood on the South Side, according to police. A sister said the woman was killed coming to the aid of a relative.”

If the same situation had played out just about anywhere else, no doubt the national media would be rubbing one out like they haven’t done so in years. However, since the location and victims (and likely shooters too) aren’t ideal, these incidents won’t make many headlines beyond the local papers.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, September 26th, 2015

Train wreckHaving already easily exceeding last September’s total shot tally of 247, from here on out, everything else is just lead-tainted stupidity gravy.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 53 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 44 wounded

Friday 9/25
4:00p 2000 S Michigan, Near South Side, M/18
5:00p 4000 W 83rd, Ashburn, M/42
7:55p 7800 S Drexel, Grand Crossing, M/29
8:10p 1200 S Central Park, North Lawndale, M/61
9:00p 900 N Central Park, Humboldt Park, M/? (story)
10:45p 3300 W Chicago, Humboldt Park, M/22
11:10p 700 E Pershing, Grand Boulevard, M/20
11:25p 2600 S Hamlin, Little Village, M/22
Saturday 9/26
1:35a 7200 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/33
1:35a 4400 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/18
1:35a 4400 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/21
1:40a 7200 S Western, Chicago Lawn, M/26
1:45a 4300 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/19
1:45a 4300 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, F/47
2:00a 4800 W Augusta, Austin, M/29
2:00a 4800 W Augusta, Austin, M/33
2:25a 7500 S Stewart, Grand Crossing, M/37
2:40a 3200 W Le Moyne, Humboldt Park, M/33
3:50a 6900 N Greenview, Rogers Park, M/19
3:50a 6900 N Greenview, Rogers Park, F/?
5:45a 4700 W Jackson, Austin, M/35
12:00p 700 E 47th, Grand Boulevard, M/25 (story)
12:30p 1700 E 87th, Avalon Park, M/35
6:45p 3700 S Wells, Armour Square, M/25
2:00p 1700 W 85th, Auburn Gresham, M/37
7:20p 2728 E 80th, South Chicago, M/17
9:00p 9800 S Emerald , Washington Heights, M/15
Sunday 9/27
1:15a 3800 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/18
2:35a 11300 S Throop, Morgan Park, M/13
3:15a 1100 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/23
3:15a 1100 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/24
4:00a 11400 S Yale, Roseland, M/29
4:20a 5800 S Laflin, Englewood, M/19
4:20a 9600 S Morgan, Washington Heights, M/28
5:50a 3900 W Polk, Garfield Park, F/22
5:50a 1000 W Wilson, Uptown, F/24
5:50a 1000 W Wilson, Uptown, M/33
6:30a 2800 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/22
12:50p 1400 E 66th, Woodlawn, F/10
12:50p 1400 E 66th, Woodlawn, F/18
12:50p 1400 E 66th, Woodlawn, M/19
1:40p 3300 W 38th, Brighton Park, M/22
2:15p 700 N Harding, Humboldt Park, M/27
2:30p 5200 S Lowe, New City, M/30
3:00p 3900 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/24
5:50p 7900 S East End, South Chicago, M/24
Da Bears got murdered
6:30p 11700 S Harvard, West Pullman, M/24
9:40p 700 S Sacramento, Garfield Park, M/18
9:40p 700 S Sacramento, Garfield Park, M/23
10:20p 1300 Luis Munoz Marin, West Town, M/50
10:40p 5251 S Justine, New City, F/29
10:40p 5251 S Justine, New City, M/30
10:40p 5251 S Justine, New City, M/33
10:40p 5251 S Justine, New City, M/35
11:20p 5000 W Division, Austin, M/21
11:55p 4000 W 55th, West Elsdon, M/23
Monday Overtime
2:50a 2200 N Major, Belmont Cragin, M/34
2:50a 2200 N Major, Belmont Cragin, M/35

police involved homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Catch and Release

Posted on Thursday, September 24th, 2015

Catch and ReleaseIt’s well known that certain local politicians love to blame all the ills of society on a handheld, high speed lead delivery device that is constructed from a pound or two of metal and plastic. The solution is a lot of ink on paper that will magically prevent the common folk from coming into possession of and being forced to use these devices in a negligent manner.

Case in point:

“A 23-year-old man charged in a Sept. 11 shooting in Rogers Park that hospitalized two, including one in critical condition, had been arrested less than two weeks earlier in a separate shooting that the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office declined to prosecute for lack of evidence.”

Crafty these devices. Plying their wares without a concern for others and when caught, get off scot-free only to engage in more hijinks. If only there were some laws to stop these devices from negatively influencing these dimwitted humans, Xanadu could be attained.



Posted on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2015

Trained sealsOfficial word came from on high today that some of the good citizens of Chicago will need to pay up for the misdeeds of others:

“Emanuel’s budget includes a record city property tax increase, with $318 million of the $543 million scheduled this year. Money from the property tax increase would be earmarked for the vastly underfunded police and fire pension funds, where a 2010 state law requires the city to contribute hundreds of millions of dollars more in the coming years.

The mayor said the city can’t cut its way to find the money for increasing pension payments. To do so, he said, would mean cuts of 2,500 police officers, or about 20 percent of the force. He also said 48 fire stations — about half the city’s total — would have to be shut down while laying off 2,000 firefighters, or 40 percent of the department.

Other services, including street repair and rodent abatement, also would go by the wayside, he said.”

In short, because we’re a bunch of incompetent, semi-retarded assholes who couldn’t make change for a dollar, we need a lot more of your money because of the children!

Here’s our prediction: the tax increases will not bring in nearly enough money; the only earmarks will be for insiders, cronies, stadiums, Ewok massage parlors and graft; pensions will go broke because of math; CPS will go more broke because of more math; the cost of living will jump pushing more out of the city and state; and the City Council will still be populated by 50+1 incompetent, semi-retarded assholes.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, September 19th, 2015

Tire fireAfter the first half of September posted a 91% year-over-year increase in stupidity, why stop now.

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 47 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 6 killed, 31 wounded

Friday 9/18
1:40p 6900 S Hermitage, Englewood, M/29
7:15p 8300 S Jeffery, Avalon Park, M/14
7:20p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, F/25
7:20p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/37
7:50p 4300 S Campbell, Brighton Park, M/18
7:50p 4300 S Campbell, Brighton Park, M/20
11:00p 421 S Central, Austin, M/30
11:00p 421 S Central, Austin, M/37
11:00p 421 S Central, Austin, M/39
11:05p 5900 W Augusta, Austin, M/18
11:50p 7100 S Ashland, Englewood, M/19
Saturday 9/19
1:25a 2700 W Augusta, West Town, M/31
2:10a 7400 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/27
2:30a Dan Ryan/71st St, Grand Crossing, M/?
2:30a Dan Ryan/71st St, Grand Crossing, M/?
3:05a 7300 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, F/18
3:05a 7300 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/25
3:25a 2100 W Cullerton, Lower W Side, M/24
8:00a 8400 S Ingleside, Chatham, F/30
10:30a 3500 W 24th, Little Village, M/25 (story)
11:55a 700 W 99th, Washington Heights, M/19
1:50p 100 W Pershing, Douglas, M/16
1:50p 100 W Pershing, Douglas, M/17
4:10p 6200 S Paulina, Englewood, M/35
6:00p 1200 N Keeler, Humboldt Park, M/?
7:30p 4400 S Greenwood, Kenwood, M/14
7:30p 4400 S Greenwood, Kenwood, M/15
8:15p 3457 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/27
8:15p 3457 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/34
Sunday 9/20
1:50a 5300 W Congress, Austin, M/33
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, M/28 (story)
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, F/19
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, F/23
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, F/28
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, F/29
2:05a 5800 S LaSalle, Englewood, M/29
2:35a 2200 S Kolin, North Lawndale, M/24
2:35a 2200 S Kolin, North Lawndale, F/21
3:05a 5500 S Wabash, Washington Park, M/24
3:25a 8700 S Dorchester, Calumet Heights, M/29
3:55a 5700 N Broadway, Edgewater, M/35
5:25a 11700 S LaSalle, West Pullman, M/31
10:45a 8434 S Hermitage, Auburn Gresham, M/18

11:15a 3700 S Wells, Armour Square, M/29
1:15p 7100 S Wolcott, Englewood, M/19
3:00p 7500 S Blackstone, South Shore, M/19
6:35p 400 N Lawndale, Humboldt Park, M/18
6:55p 800 N Central, Austin, M/22
8:20p 1600 N Central, Austin, M/36
8:35p 8400 S California, Ashburn, M/18
8:35p 8400 S California, Ashburn, M/19
8:35p 8400 S California, Ashburn, M/18
9:40p 10150 S Calumet, Roseland, M/43
11:50p 4200 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/26
Monday Overtime
12:15a 4200 W Thomas, Humboldt Park, M/53
12:15a 4200 W Thomas, Humboldt Park, M/?
1:00a 5400 S Laflin, New City, M/23

The 19th is the two year anniversary of the Cornell Square Park shooting. Since then, an additional 5,294 people have been shot.

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Halftime Report

Posted on Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

Kansas Halftime ShowSeptember is on a tear. With September 2nd notching the most homicides in a single day since 2003, it’s no surprise that if the current pace keeps up, September may see the most homicides since 2006 tallied 57.

Here’s how the first 15 days of September played out:

  • 29 homicides (+26% YoY)
  • 144 shot and wounded (+102% YoY)
  • 26 males, 3 females killed
  • Teenagers: 6 killed & 39 wounded
  • A homicide every 12 1/2 hours
  • Someone shot & wounded every 2 1/2 hours
  • 6 ongoing death investigations
  • 5 #ShotInTheAss

The backend of September has averaged somewhere in the low 20 for homicides and another 130-140 shot and wounded. A simple forecast says we’ll end the month with around 50 homicides and 280 shot and wounded. However, if the current pace keeps up, we may see 60+. There’s a September number that hasn’t been seen in nearly 15 years.


The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Monday, September 14th, 2015

Wheels coming offAfter a scorching start to the month in both terms of temps and body count, some fall-like cool and wet weather moved in and the stupidity slowed. Things changed Sunday when the wheels came off…

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 30 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 16 wounded

Friday 9/11
12:55p 1200 E 79th, Avalon Park, M/16
11:10p 1600 W Juneway, Rogers Park, M/24
11:10p 1600 W Juneway, Rogers Park, F/31
Saturday 9/12
1:45a 4100 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, F/25
2:55a 3800 W Monroe, Garfield Park, F/64
3:15a 100 N Central, Austin, M/27
3:25a 3400 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/27
3:10p 1200 N Karlov, Humboldt Park, F/20
3:10p 1200 N Karlov, Humboldt Park, M/21
5:30p 8800 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, M/24
9:50p 2400 W Fillmore, Near West Side, M/32
Sunday 9/13
2:15a 2500 W Jackson, Near West Side, M/22
2:40a 500 E 75th, Grand Crossing, M/32
3:25a 4100 N Bernard, Irving Park, M/36
3:40a 400 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/22
3:40a 400 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/36
10:55a 400 E 134th, Riverdale, M/18
12:45p 1200 W Ainslie, Uptown, M/24 (story)
4:15p 6100 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/15
5:05p 6100 S Honore, Englewood, F/17
5:00p 8900 S Union, Auburn Gresham, M/24
5:30p 8800 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/23
6:55p 8455 S Loomis, Auburn Gresham, M/19
8:00p 9900 S Normal, Washington Heights, M/22
9:15p 8315 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, M/36
10:00p 5601 S May, Englewood, F/23
10:00p 5601 S May, Englewood, M/30
10:20p 4201 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/20
10:20p 4201 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/21
10:20p 4201 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/22
10:40p 800 E Bowen, Oakland, M/29
Monday Overtime
12:40a 10800 S Morgan, Morgan Park, M/? (story)
1:30a 700 W 93rd, Washington Heights, M/19
1:30a 700 W 93rd, Washington Heights, F/21

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday


Nap Time

Posted on Saturday, September 12th, 2015

Nap timeAfter spending the summer documenting a couple hundred homicides and over a thousand shootings, plus listening to a half dozen scanners for 8-12 hours a day, we’re beat. See y’all in a couple of days.

Scanners off.


14 Years Later

Posted on Friday, September 11th, 2015

9/1114 years ago today, while the local media was buzzing about Michael Jordan’s return to basketball, the above occurred and an orderly scramble out of the Loop, including yours truly, commenced.


Summer Lovin’

Posted on Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

Grease: Summer Lovin'Another summer has come and gone, so now it’s time to take a look back at the summer that was.

Summer kicked off with a foreshadowing tone when the Memorial Day weekend nearly doubled 2014’s weekend total with 12 homicides and 45 wounded. Shortly thereafter, Uptown’s favorite jagoff and bullet magnet, Young Pappy, succumbed to a severe case of lead poisoning. May ended with a 19% increase in shootings, yet crime was down.

June started with a viral video of a west side Roman candle fight that was copied dozens of times as other local ‘yutes’ tried to hop on the viral bandwagon. Shortly thereafter Spike Lee announced “Chiraq” in which some aldercreatures took more offense to than the daily violence found in their wards. The Blackhawks clinched another Cup and stupidity filled the streets of Wrigleyville, again. As June wrapped up with 49 dead and 244 wounded, the powers that be were pre-shitting bricks ahead of summer’s main event, the July 4th weekend… and crime was down.

The Shitshow of the Year started off slowly. So slowly that many thought we get through the weekend with nothing but a scratch. Then on the evening of July 4th, the wheels came off and all hell broke loose. In just nine hours, 33 people were shot leaving 6 dead. Since the weekend was slightly less stupid than previous years, crime was down.

As early July was pacing for a 60 homicide tally, a 13 month old boy was run over by a fleeing honor student. Said honor student allegedly shot an apparently semi-famous honor student known as Capo.

A week and a half later, a mass shooting at a Charleston SC church gave us a bunch of nonsense over a flag, yet similar body counts continued to be ignored. Narrative.

July’s 58 homicides were goosed by the the Chatham Four, yet the CPD still only counts one of the four as a homicide, so therefore crime was down.

August kicked off with the annual Shootapalooza weekend. The one year anniversary of Ferguson MO meant 496 homicides within the previous year were all but ignored. Narrative. While some real life honor students decided prison was better than college, a CCW permit holder ventilated a disadvantage youth who was looking to permanently borrow his stuff. August wrapped up with 21% jump shootings and an on air shooting that furthered the narrative but left the obvious ignored.

On the same day Rahm announces a massive tax increase, September sees one of the deadliest days in over a decade – 9 homicides. When all was said and done, we tallied 206 homicides and an additional 1002 shot and wounded. That translates into a dismal summer-over-summer increase of 32% and 18% respectively. But in case you haven’t heard, crime is down 30%.


Summer’s Final Scene

Posted on Saturday, September 5th, 2015

Final Scene from The Blues BrothersThe last weekend of summer is upon us. Since the official shooting season started, which we say is the Friday (5/22) of Memorial Day weekend, we’ve tallied 195 206 homicides plus another 960 1002 shot & wounded, so far. 200 homicides is probably a given. 1000 shot & wounded? Stay tuned. Yep.

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 46 wounded
2014 Labor Day weekend tally: 7 killed, 37 wounded
2013 Labor Day weekend tally: 12 killed, 27 wounded

Friday 9/4
4:00p 10500 S Wentworth, Roseland, M/15
7:00p 5700 S May, Englewood, M/59
7:00p 5700 S Lowe, Englewood, M/26
8:20p 1100 S Richmond, North Lawndale, M/35
8:45p 1400 N Linder, Austin, M/20
9:45p 6000 S Richmond, Chicago Lawn, M/17
9:45p 6000 S Richmond, Chicago Lawn, M/19
9:45p 6000 S Richmond, Chicago Lawn, M/21
11:20p 1700 N Mayfield, Austin, M/31
11:20p 1700 N Mayfield, Austin, M/33
11:20p 1700 N Mayfield, Austin, M/28
11:40p 1800 S Drake, North Lawndale, M/22
11:55p 7400 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/20
Saturday 9/5
1:30a 2000 W Howard, Rogers Park, M/29
1:30a 2000 W Howard, Rogers Park, M/32
1:30a 2000 W Howard, Rogers Park, M/39
1:55a 6600 S Halsted, Englewood, F/19
4:00a 2100 N Laramie, Belmont Cragin, M/18
4:10a 100 E 59th, Washington Park, M/15
Body parts of child found in Garfield Park
9:00p 2500 W Potomac Ave, West Town, M/27
9:00p 2500 W Potomac Ave, West Town, M/?
10:00p 4000 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, M/14
Sunday 9/6
1:10a 4700 S State, Grand Boulevard, M/17
1:30a 6100 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, F/19
2:30a 1100 W Randolph, Near West Side, M/24

2:30a 1100 W Randolph, Near West Side, M/24
3:40a 100 N Latrobe, Austin, F/24
3:40a 100 N Latrobe, Austin, F/29
3:40a 100 N Latrobe, Austin, M/30
Possible neglect & abuse of 5-day-old
7:45a 7200 S Green, Englewood, F/28
7:45a 7200 S Green, Englewood, M/34
12:40p 4300 S Wabash, Grand Boulevard, M/22
8:25p 4400 S Richmond, Brighton Park, M/18
8:45p 7300 S Damen, Englewood, M/25
9:20p 1321 W 13th, Near West Side, M/15
Labor Day
12:55a 7500 S South Shore, South Shore, M/25
2:00a 3000 N Kilpatrick, Belmont Cragin, M/38
9:00a 5600 S Wells, Englewood, M/25
10:30a 7900 S Carpenter, Auburn Gresham, M/27
11:30a 800 E 81st, Chatham, M/56
11:45a 2000 E 71st, South Shore, F/45
2:45p 2500 W 71st, Chicago Lawn , M/34
3:05p 11300 S Throop, Morgan Park, M/17
7:50p 3105 W 5th, Garfield Park, M/?
8:00p 662 E 133rd, Riverdale, M/25
10:30p 2200 S Spaulding, Little Village, M/31
11:25p 4700 S Ada, New City, M/39
11:25p 4700 S Ada, New City, M/41
11:40p 1300 W 110th, Morgan Park, M/22
Tuesday Overtime
12:05a 5300 W North, Austin, M/18
2:55a 5600 S Green, Englewood, F/19
2:55a 5600 S Green, Englewood, M.2/
2:55a 5600 S Green, Englewood, M/34
2:55a 5600 S Green, Englewood, F/40
3:05a 3300 N Keeler, Irving Park, M/31

Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday


Got Lube?

Posted on Thursday, September 3rd, 2015

got lube?On the same day we see a recent record of nine homicides in a single day and Tiny gets run off stage at a town hall meeting, word comes down that the fine residents of Chicago are about to take it up the tailpipe:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel is set to call for the largest property tax increase in modern Chicago history to raise enough money to make a major pension payment for police and firefighters next year, the mayor’s City Council floor leader and a City Hall source told the Chicago Tribune late Wednesday.

The mayor also plans to push a new garbage collection tax, a new per-ride fee on taxis and ride-hailing services such as Uber and a new tax on electronic cigarettes and smokeless tobacco products.

The mayor is considering a property tax hike of between $450 million and $550 million for police and fire pensions, but he has yet to settle on a final number, a City Hall source said. O’Connor put the figure at $450 million for police and fire pensions, plus another $50 million for a Chicago Public Schools construction program.”

We’re broke and have been broke for a long, long time but there’s not a single mention of anything being cut, just increases. If you think rents and the cost of living is high now, just wait.

Got lube?