Caring

Posted on Tuesday, September 27th, 2016

Chicagoland RahmFinally, someone is telling it like it is.

“Speaking with members of his staff in private Monday after receiving the most recent municipal crime statistics, Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel is said to have expressed his concern that the metropolitan area’s gun violence problem might soon spread to the parts of the city he actually gives a shit about, sources reported.

“Listen, we’re at 3,000 shootings this year and counting—it’s only a matter of time before this violence migrates from the areas of the city I don’t give a fuck about into the areas that actually matter in my eyes,” the second-term mayor reportedly said, adding that it would be devastating to see such senseless shootings affect residents outside of the large swaths of Chicago he has written off entirely.”

So it’s The Onion, still…

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, September 23rd, 2016

Gangster firing a Thompson Submachine Gun

Final Stupidity Tally: 11 killed, 46 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 53 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 44 wounded

Friday 9/23
1:45p 4200 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/25
1:45p 4200 S Princeton, Fuller Park, M/39
4:20p 300 E 58th, Washington Park, M/15
5:25p 1000 W 77th, Auburn Gresham, M/56
5:35p 2600 W Haddon, West Town, M/?

7:50p Body Found in Burning Vehicle
8:10p 5600 S Racine, Englewood, M/19
8:10p 5600 S Racine, Englewood, M/20
9:15p 100 W 93rd, Roseland, F/20
9:15p 100 W 93rd, Roseland, M/28
9:30p 1430 W 115th, Morgan Park, M/22
11:10p 5500 S Shields, Englewood, M/18
Saturday 9/24
12:35a 2500 S Harding, Little Village, M/47
12:45a 7100 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/26
1:30a 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/28
2:00a 5500 W Lake, Austin, M/22
2:10a 2200 W 50th, Gage Park, M/?
2:10a 2200 W 50th, Gage Park, F/24
2:25a 7200 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/27
2:35a 2600 W Wilcox, Near West Side, M/37

2:35a 7700 S Paulina, Auburn Gresham, M/28
5:10a I94 & I55, Armour Square, M/?
5:40a 2100 N Tripp, Hermosa, M/23
5:15p 5100 S Ada, New City, M/17
5:45p 9600 S Carpenter, Washington Heights, M/23
6:10p 4000 W Belmont, Irving Park, M/27
6:15p 3800 W 31st, Little Village, M/35
7:00p 200 E 95th, Roseland, M/49
7:30p 1500 W 56th, Englewood, M/23
7:35p 100 S Michigan, Loop, M/54 (story)
8:00p 600 S Lotus, Austin, M/22
10:00p 3800 W 13th, North Lawndale, M/36
10:00p 8000 S Kingston, South Chicago, M/17
10:55p 11700 S Lowe, West Pullman, M/16
11:00p 6000 S Eberhart, Woodlawn, M/32
Sunday 9/25
12:10a 5400 S Damen, New City, M/31
12:50a 2800 W 25th, Little Village, M/23
1:35a 3000 S Saint Louis, Little Village, F/22
1:35a 3000 S Saint Louis, Little Village, F/31
2:40a 2600 W Chicago, West Town, M/34
3:40a 4800 S Laflin, New City, M/18
4:25a 2900 N Sawyer, Avondale, M/18
4:30a 9200 S Colfax, Calumet Heights, M/28
5:10a 5200 S Homan, Gage Park, M/23
6:10a 8200 S Scottsdale, Ashburn, M/20
7:05a 300 S Laramie, Austin, M/34
9:00a 8000 S Yates, South Chicago, M/70 (selfie)
11:05a 6700 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/20
11:25a 6200 S Ingleside, Woodlawn, M/21
4:20p 1900 W Marquette, Englewood, M/17
5:30p 200 S Leamington, Austin, F/17
5:50p 7000 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, M/20
8:00p 5000 W Division, Austin, M/19
9:05p 5200 S Winchester, New City, M/24
11:30p 5900 S Carpenter, Englewood, F/23
Monday Overtime
2:40a 700 S Central Park, Garfield Park, M/44
3:30a 2000 W Pierce, West Town, M/23

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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You Serious, Clark?

Posted on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Vegas Vacation - Clark and Cousin EddieThe problem here isn’t so much with the gambling or the distribution of adult beverages, it’s that the city, county and state aren’t getting their cut.

“Chicago Police checking out a nondescript storefront in West Ridge walked in on an unlicensed, makeshift casino with 100 men playing cards around 10 tables loaded with casino chips, according to a police report.

There were also video gambling machines without tax stickers, and food and beer being sold without licenses, the report said.

The setup was found at 10 p.m. Sept. 11 behind a mirrored entrance at 5801 N. Lincoln Avenue, police said. The storefront sits in a strip mall between a spa and a tailor shop.”

Maybe a well placed call (or charitable donation) or two to a certain official or “friend” could have prevented this entire misunderstanding.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, September 16th, 2016

Three Stooges Triple Facepalm

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 38 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 10 killed, 47 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 6 killed, 31 wounded

Friday 9/16
5:40p 5900 S Union, Englewood, M/26
8:35p 700 N Latrobe, Austin, M/19
8:35p 6200 W Bloomingdale, Austin, M/27
9:55p 6700 S Ashland, Englewood, F/32
11:05p 5900 S Halsted, Englewood, M/25
Saturday 9/17
12:30a 10100 S State, Roseland, M/30
12:40a 8100 S Laflin, Auburn Gresham, M/34
1:00a 4800 S Justine, New City, F/35
1:00a 4800 S Justine, New City, F/38
1:25a Another Person Found Torched in an Alley
1:40a 1200 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/25
2:00a 800 N Latrobe, Austin, M/29
3:30a 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/24
9:45a And Another Person Found Dead in an Alley
3:00p 4500 N Magnolia, Uptown, M/29 (story)
4:25p 5100 S Sawyer, Gage Park, M/14
4:25p 5100 S Sawyer, Gage Park, M/14
4:45p 1700 W 84th , Auburn Gresham, M/21
5:25p 7100 S Halsted, Englewood, M/19
8:35p 1400 S Tripp, North Lawndale, M/62
9:35p 1000 W 103rd, Washington Heights, M/17
10:25p 5600 W Madison, Austin, M/19
11:00p 4000 W West End, Garfield Park, M/32
11:05p 5900 S Halsted, Englewood, M/25
Sunday 9/18
12:00a 5800 S Maplewood, Gage Park, M/20
1:55a 5100 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/36
2:25a 8900 S Laflin, Washington Heights, M/23

2:25a 5400 S Winchester, New City, M/41
2:55a 3000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/35
3:15a 2200 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, F/41
3:15a 7500 N Clark, Rogers Park, M/37
3:45a 3900 W Cermak, North Lawndale, M/14
4:00a 100 W Division, Near North Side, M/20
4:00a 100 W Division, Near North Side, M/30
6:30a 6400 S Yale, Englewood, M/23
8:25a 6600 S Rhodes, Woodlawn, M/16 (CCW)
1:15p 8000 S Knox, Ashburn, M/47
3:55p 3900 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/17
3:55p 3900 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/17
5:00p 6000 S Sawyer, Chicago Lawn, M/19
5:10p 9800 S Throop, Washington Heights, M/18
6:05p 8700 S Marquette, South Chicago, F/19
6:05p 8700 S Marquette, South Chicago, M/26
7:00p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/35
8:30p 1200 W 71st, Englewood, M/16
10:30p 5400 S Damen, New City, M/37
Monday Overtime
1:00a 6600 S Claremont, Chicago Lawn, M/21

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Wrigleyville Stupidity

Posted on Tuesday, September 13th, 2016


When one typically thinks of stupidity in Wrigleyville, you wouldn’t be far off if you envisioned drunk bros sporting faded Sosa jerseys looking to fight a police horse. However, with more regularity of late, drunk chicks puking in the back of cabs are being supplanted by early morning brawls and shootings.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, September 9th, 2016

3000

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 36 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 4 killed, 30 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 16 wounded

Friday 9/9
4:05p 700 N Springfield, Humboldt Park, M/33
4:50p 10200 S Michigan, Roseland, M/23
6:00p 9000 S Marshfield, Washington Heights, F/28
10:00p 1100 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/28
10:45p 3300 W Addison, Irving Park, M/25
10:45p 3300 W Addison, Irving Park, M/33
11:30p 1200 N Maplewood, West Town, M/18
11:30p 1200 N Maplewood, West Town, M/? (story)
11:55p 5900 W North, Austin, M/30
11:55p 3200 S Pulaski, Little Village, M/20
Saturday 9/10
1:10a 2200 N Laporte, Belmont Cragin, M/19
11:30a 1000 N Keystone, Humboldt Park, M/26
2:00p 3000 W 63rd, Chicago Lawn, M/27
2:00p 3000 W 63rd, Chicago Lawn, M/26
5:00p 4700 S Shields, Fuller Park, M/?
5:20p 8900 S Justine, Washington Heights, M/23
6:30p 10900 S Everhart, Roseland, M/16
6:50p 1900 W Garfield, New City, M/19
7:00p 8300 S Kenwood, Avalon Park, M/18
8:05p 3500 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/21
8:20p 5500 W Ohio, Austin, M/17
9:00p 5700 S Seeley, Englewood, M/31
11:25p 11200 S Langley, Pullman, M/36
Sunday 9/11
1:45a 1600 S Kedzie, North Lawndale, M/26
2:35a 3900 S Campbell, Brighton Park, M/19
2:35a 3900 S Rockwell, Brighton Park, M/21
3:30a 10 N Pulaski, Garfield Park, M/27
3:40a 6000 S Wood, Englewood, M/15
4:00a 3600 S Honroe, McKinley Park, F/29
4:30a 2200 W Fullerton, Logan Square, M/25
12:40p 5500 W Monroe, Austin, M/43
3:10p 1600 N Karlov, Humboldt Park, M/29
6:30p 3100 N Linder, Belmont Cragin, M/20
7:00p 2300 N Kedzie, Logan Square, M/17
7:00p 13400 S Doty, Riverdale, ?/? (story)
8:10p 8900 S Justine, Washington Heights, F/18
8:10p 8900 S Justine, Washington Heights, M/17
8:10p 8900 S Justine, Washington Heights, M/16
8:45p 4500 W Monroe, Garfield Park, ?/? (story)
9:00p 7800 S Saginaw, South Shore, M/24
9:00p 7800 S Saginaw, South Shore, F/57
9:35p 4900 S Hoyne, New City, M/22
Monday Overtime
1:55a 10100 S Exchange, South Deering, M/26
2:10a 3400 N Clark, Lake View, M/25
2:15a 3900 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/?
4:30a 4400 W Belmont, Irving Park, M/22

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Summer Lovin’

Posted on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

Grease: Summer Lovin'Another “completely unacceptable” Summer Shooting Season has come and gone and what a shitshow it ended up being. Our generous prediction of 225 homicides and 1,000 wounded was no match for a 93 homicide August or a 75 ventilated Memorial Day weekend.

Summer Stupidity Tally*: 263 killed, 1,296 wounded
Summer ’15: 212 dead, 999 wounded
Summer ’14: 169 dead, 847 wounded

A breakdown of the Season’s stupidity shows:

  • 239 shot & killed
  • 11 stabbed
  • 13 killed via other means
  • A person killed every 9 hours, 12 minutes
  • A person shot every 1 hour, 34 minutes
  • Austin, Garfield Park & Englewood – 30% of homicides, 32% of shootings
  • 15 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 11 police-involved shootings, 2 fatal
  • 214 in serious or critical condition
  • 242 males killed vs 21 females
  • 344 teenagers shot, 42 killed
  • 67 grazed
  • 7 selfies
  • 74 #ShotInTheAss

The current trend puts 2016’s final numbers around 700 homicides with more than 4,300 people shot. Those numbers should put the outrage meter somewhere between “totally unacceptable” and “absolutely unacceptable”.

*Summer ’16 = 100 days, 18 hours or 2,418 hours
Summer ’15 = 107 days, 18 hours or 2,568 hours
Summer ’14 = 100 days, 18 hours or 2,418 hours

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Summer’s Final Scene

Posted on Friday, September 2nd, 2016

Raiders of the Lost Ark Final SceneLabor Day weekend signals that the end of summer is here and it’s time to put another shooting season into storage. Since the official shooting season kicked off on Friday, May 27th, we’ve tallied 247 homicides plus another 1,245 shot & wounded (and counting). Given that this weekend historically puts up double digit homicide numbers, be on the lookout for a pearl clutching 500th homicide soon.

Final Stupidity Tally: 13 killed, 53 wounded
2015 Labor Day weekend: 10 killed, 46 wounded
2014 Labor Day weekend: 7 killed, 36 wounded
2013 Labor Day weekend: 12 killed, 27 wounded

Friday 9/2
2:30p 900 N Drake, Humboldt Park, M/19
9:00p 100 N Parkside, Austin, M/17
9:20p 1100 N Monticello, Humboldt Park, M/29
Saturday 9/3
2:00a 4700 S Laflin, New City, F/26
2:00a 4700 S Laflin, New City, F/31
2:20a 5600 S Marshfield, Englewood, M/20
3:30a 100 N Seeley, Near West Side, M/21
3:30a 100 N Seeley, Near West Side, M/34
3:30a 100 N Seeley, Near West Side, M/36
3:30a 100 N Seeley, Near West Side, M/39
4:15a 5000 W Adams, Austin, M/24
6:05a 8100 S Paulina, Auburn Gresham, F/64
3:10p 8100 S Throop, Auburn Gresham, M/19
8:00p 5500 S Troy, Gage Park, M/18
8:00p 5000 W Hirsh, Austin, M/16
8:20p 1800 W 47th, New City, M/63
8:25p 4900 N Kenmore, Uptown, M/17
8:25p 4900 N Kenmore, Uptown, M/22
9:25p 12400 S Perry, West Pullman, M/21
11:40p 3400 W Irving Park, Irving Park, F/25
Sunday 9/4
12:10a 4800 S Kildare, Archer Heights, M/32
12:10a 4800 S Kildare, Archer Heights, M/22
5:00a 3100 S Loomis, Bridgeport, M/?
11:35a 5200 W LeMoyne, Austin, M/?
4:10p 7400 S Kenwood, South Shore, M/23
4:30p 7100 S State, Grand Crossing, M/22
5:15p 6700 S Green, Englewood, M/45
5:15p 6700 S Green, Englewood, M/27
6:15p 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/19
7:15p 9700 S Yates, South Deering, M/19
10:30p 7900 S Cornell, South Shore, M/17
Labor Day
12:25a 5800 S Laflin, Englewood, M/24
12:55a 10100 S Princeton, Roseland, M/18
12:55a 10100 S Princeton, Roseland, M/19
4:30a 7900 S South Shore, South Chicago, M/35
6:20a 2800 E 77th, South Shore, M/80
9:35a 6800 S Emerald, Englewood, M/24

9:35a 6800 S Emerald, Englewood, M/26
10:00a 5600 W Lake, Austin, M/30
1:25p 4500 S Whipple, Brighton Park, M/22
3:20p 900 W 53rd, New City, F/23
3:20p 900 W 53rd, New City, M/27
3:55p 7000 S Eberhart, Grand Crossing, M/19
4:05p 4500 S Hermitage, New City, M/44
5:30p 2100 S Loomis, Lower W Side, M/?
6:30p 2800 S Kedvale, Little Village, M/18
6:50p 5800 S Peoria, Englewood, M/?
7:15p 1300 W 67th, Englewood, M/24
7:15p 1300 W 67th, Englewood, M/47

8:50p 2100 W Fargo, Rogers Park, M/16
8:50p 2100 W Fargo, Rogers Park, M/?
10:45p 2700 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/22
10:45p 2700 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/22

10:45p 2700 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/17
10:45p 2700 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/20
10:45p 2700 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/16
11:00p 3300 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M/22
11:00p 3300 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M31
11:10p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/?
11:10p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, F/36
11:25p Dan Ryan Expy & 83rd, Chatham, M/26
Tuesday Overtime
12:40a 5600 S Green, Englewood, F/25
12:40a 5600 S Green, Englewood, M/36
2:15a 900 N Long, Austin, M/18
3:00a 6300 S Winchester, Englewood, M/20

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday

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August Wrap-up

Posted on Thursday, September 1st, 2016

CarnacWell… that was a shitshow. Even our generous prediction fell shorter than a Jay Cutler interception, “We’re not going to go as far as to predict a repeat of August 1991’s 122 homicides, we will however predict another 70 homicides plus another 425 shot and wounded.”

Final Stupidity Tally: 91 killed, 400 wounded
August 2015: 56 dead, 307 wounded
August 2014: 54 dead, 250 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 81 shot & killed
  • 4 stabbed
  • 4 arson related
  • 4 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 3 police-involved shootings, 0 fatal
  • 68 in serious or critical condition
  • 80 males killed vs 8 females
  • 91 teenagers shot, 11 killed
  • 28 grazed
  • 3 selfies
  • 19 #ShotInTheAss

Looking ahead, September means back to “school” and a time to settle old scores. Last September posted a 2015 high of 63 homicides with an additional 303 shot and wounded. Given the trend has been 70+, we’ll predict 75 homicides plus another 400 shot and wounded with the 500th homicide being tallied over Labor Day weekend.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, August 26th, 2016

To The Batputer!Since the much promoted and praised “Strategic Subjects List” prevented less shootings than a drunken game of Jarts prevented paraplegics, we’re proposing a return to vacuum tubes and skin tight costumes to save the day.

Final Stupidity Tally: 11 killed, 61 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 6 killed, 30 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 7 killed, 36 wounded

Friday 8/26
12:40p 7400 S Kimbark, South Shore, M/25
1:45p 1500 E 60th, Hyde Park, M/23
3:30p 6300 S Calumet, Grand Crossing, F/32 (story)
4:30p 12200 S Wallace, West Pullman, M/35
6:15p 1500 N Meade, Austin, M/35
6:15p 900 W Wilson, Uptown, M/55
(video)(story)
9:35p 7700 S Hermitage, Auburn Gresham, M/20
10:00p 6200 N Ridge, West Ridge, F/32
10:00p 3800 S Kedzie, Brighton Park, M/18
11:15p 900 W 77th, Auburn Gresham, M/24
11:15p 900 W 77th, Auburn Gresham, M/24
11:25p 1300 S Lawndale, North Lawndale, M/22
Saturday 8/27
12:40a Likely Arson Kills Two
12:45a 6400 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/44
1:20a 6300 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/25
1:20a 6300 S Rockwell, Chicago Lawn, M/31
1:55a 6900 S Halsted, Englewood, M/22
2:20a 600 W Illinois, Near North Side, M/22 (selfie)
3:10a 5400 W Ferdinand, Austin, M/15
3:10a 5400 W Ferdinand, Austin, M/22
3:10a 5400 W Ferdinand, Austin, M/22
3:35a 500 W 127th, West Pullman, M/21
3:35a 500 W 127th, West Pullman, M/24
12:15p 7100 S Rhodes, Grand Crossing, M/17
12:15p 7100 S Rhodes, Grand Crossing, M/19
12:15p 7100 S Rhodes, Grand Crossing, M/34
5:10p 2200 E 93rd, Calumet Heights, M/16
5:10p 2200 E 93rd, Calumet Heights, M/?
5:30p 3300 W Fulton, Garfield Park, M/37
5:30p 3300 W Fulton, Garfield Park, F/28
5:55p 10 E 120th, West Pullman, M/19
6:50p 200 S Kildare, Garfield Park, M/50
9:30p 2000 W Maypole, Near West Side, M/33
9:45p 6600 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/18
9:45p 6600 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/20
Sunday 8/28
12:15a 4400 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/30
12:15a 4400 W Monroe, Garfield Park, F/18
12:15a 4400 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/25
12:15a 3000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, F/26
12:15a 3000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/27
12:15a 3000 W Arthington, Garfield Park, M/32
12:15a 7200 S Marshfield, Englewood, M/20
12:35a 3600 W Fifth, Garfield Park, M/38
1:20a 13000 S Ellis, Riverdale, M/28
1:30a 100 E 120th, West Pullman, M/37
3:00a 8400 S Green, Auburn Gresham, M/25
3:00a 8400 S Green, Auburn Gresham, M/32
3:00a 8400 S Green, Auburn Gresham, M/38
4:25a 2100 N Kedvale, Hermosa, M/?
9:15a 7000 S Vernon, Grand Crossing, M/21
10:00a 1800 S Michigan, Near South Side, M/45
12:15p 10100 S State, Roseland, M/30
3:15p 5600 S Campbell, Gage Park, M/?
4:20p 5400 W Jackson, Austin, M/20
5:15p 700 W 123rd, West Pullman, M/16
5:15p 700 W 123rd, West Pullman, M/17
6:50p 5200 S Honroe, New City, M/26
7:05p 6200 S Kenneth, West Lawn, M/17
7:05p 6200 S Kenneth, West Lawn, M/21
7:05p 6200 S Kenneth, West Lawn, M/24
8:20p 6700 S East End, South Shore, M/18
9:00p 5600 S Emerald, Englewood, M/50
9:00p 1050 S Independence, North Lawndale, F/13
9:00p 1050 S Independence, North Lawndale, F/18
9:40p 2520 W Glenlake, West Ridge, M/34
10:45p 5500 S Throop, Englewood, M/18
10:45p 5500 S Throop, Englewood, M/33
11:25p 8900 S Houston, South Chicago, M/22
Monday Overtime
12:15a 200 E 60th, Washington Park, F/29
12:30a 100 W 112th, Roseland, F/35
1:45a 5200 W Washington, Austin, M/19

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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The Language!

Posted on Tuesday, August 23rd, 2016

Shocked FaceScanner traffic popped-off yesterday afternoon with calls of shots fired at the police and by the police. While no one had the misfortunate of catching lead, the offender was eventually caught and today he had his day in court. However, he’s probably wishing for a do over:

A man accused of shooting at Chicago Police officers went on a tirade in court Tuesday after a Cook County judge denied him bail.

“He shot at me first,” Kentrell Pledger, 29, shouted. “Get your story straight, dog.”

Pledger told the courtroom he should’ve “smoked his [the officer’s] ass” before accusing Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., an African-American judge, of being white.

“You ain’t black,” Pledger said. “You’re white, bitch.”

Now Kenny, that’s no way to talk to your elders, especially in front of a count stenographer. Dumbass.

(Image shown is not the offender, but the offended.)

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Air Show Weekend

Posted on Friday, August 19th, 2016

Biplane TennisWhile downtown and the North Side beaches may sound like war zones, parts of the South and West sides will continue to behave like war zones.

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 49 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 7 killed, 35 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 8 killed, 44 wounded

Friday 8/19
3:30p 11900 S Eggleston, West Pullman, M/17
5:35p 7600 S Lafayette, Grand Crossing, M/?
9:30p 5500 W West End, Austin, M/21
10:10p 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/25
10:30p 8000 S Burnham, South Chicago, M/26
11:55p 4600 W Gladys, Austin, M/28
Saturday 8/20
12:55a 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, M/35
1:40a 800 E 82nd, Chatham, M/40
1:45a 7300 S May, Englewood, M/23
2:55a 3700 W Irving Park, Irving Park, M/24
2:55a 4600 W Diversey, Belmont Cragin, M/33
3:40a 2800 W Fullerton, Logan Square, M/24
5:50a 2500 S Francisco, Little Village, M/20
6:00a 4600 W Monroe, Austin, M/23
6:50p Dan Ryan at Cermak, Lower W Side, M/15
4:45p 5300 W Division, Austin, M/37
7:00p 5700 W Potomac, Austin, M/15
7:00p 5700 W Potomac, Austin, M/15
7:00p 5700 W Potomac, Austin, M/17
7:45p 1000 W 79th, Auburn Gresham, M/17
8:15p 2700 N Harding, Logan Square, M/20
9:40p 9900 S Vincennes, Washington Heights, M/21
10:10p 8500 S Cregier, Avalon Park, M/18
10:30p 2100 S Kildare, North Lawndale, M/18
10:30p 2500 W Moffat, Logan Square, M/68
10:35p 6230 N Hermitage, Edgewater, M/16
11:30p 500 W Taylor, Near West Side, M/47
11:45p 1500 W Jonquil, Rogers Park, F/27
Sunday 8/21
12:05a 3700 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/24
12:30a 4800 N Damen, Lincoln Square, M/21
1:30a 6800 S Bishop, Englewood, M/19
1:30a 6800 S Bishop, Englewood, M/23
2:20a 4100 W 21st, North Lawndale, M/25
2:30a 11600 S Morgan, West Pullman, M/26
2:30a 11600 S Morgan, West Pullman, M/26
2:50a 7000 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/25
2:50a 7000 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, F/?
3:15a 1700 W Greenleaf, Rogers Park, M/37
4:00a 1200 Washburne, Near West Side, F/21
4:00a 1200 Washburne, Near West Side, M/23
4:00a 5500 W North, Austin, M/14
6:45a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/20

12:40p 11800 S Emerald, West Pullman, M/31
1:55p 2200 S Central Park, Little Village, M/19
4:10p 3000 N Kimball, Avondale, F/40
4:10p 3000 N Kimball, Avondale, M/50
4:15p 4000 W West End, Garfield Park, M/23
4:25p 100 W 113th, Roseland, M/18
4:30p 5500 S Spaulding, Gage Park, M/35
6:15p 4800 W Augusta, Austin, M/14
7:55p 1600 N Major, Austin, F/8
7:55p 1600 N Major, Austin, F/36
8:15p 3700 W 82nd, Ashburn, M/21
8:20p 7100 S Green, Englewood, M/20
8:20p 7100 S Green, Englewood, M/28
9:10p 1400 N Mayfield, Austin, M/23
9:15p 5000 N Francisco, Lincoln Square, M/21
10:50p 7100 S Normal, Englewood, M/31

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Gelato Flavors Matter

Posted on Tuesday, August 16th, 2016

Crying babyWe’re going to take a break from our usual nonsense and bring you something that is truly upsetting which may lead to the downfall of the Republic, or at least the Gold Coast, gelato.

“Gold Coast residents who frequent Mariano Park, a picturesque little plaza at State and Rush streets, clamored for weeks for new park tenant Bow Truss Coffee to bring in the gelato that was promised them.

In mid-July, they got their wish with the addition of Black Dog Gelato, known for its unusual flavors and supplier to some of the city’s best restaurants.”

Yummy! However, some residents of the Gold Coast aren’t having it…

“The park “needs to be updated end of story. We don’t deserve what is being offered right now as dessert,” said Judi Steinreich, who appears to be one of those leading the charge leveled at Bow Truss owner Phil Tadros.

“Coffee is one thing and it’s good coffee. The dessert and supplemental items need to be updated and added to. We understand the Gelato there now is not [Tadros’] business and can be modified which it needs to be as soon as possible. Sanitation is improper, service improper and temperatures improper,” Steinreich said.

Their latest salvo: collecting signatures to try and boot Black Dog and bring in a different gelato vendor — specifically Amorino, a few blocks away at 838 N. State St. Some residents met privately on Friday to discuss the issue.”

There is no issue. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. Better yet, BURN IT DOWN!! BURN THE MOTHERF*CKER DOWN!!! Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Goat Cheese Cashew Caramel Has Gotta Go!

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, August 12th, 2016

Olympic weightlifter fail

Final Stupidity Tally: 12 killed, 44 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 6 killed, 34 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 6 killed, 31 wounded

Friday 8/12
12:50p 2800 N Laramie, Belmont Cragin, M/26
1:10p 400 N Lavergne, Austin, M/28
2:30p 3600 W Cermak, North Lawndale, M/21
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
9:00p 2500 S California, Little Village, M/20
9:00p 2500 S California, Little Village, M/20
10:15p 6600 S Halsted, Englewood, M/17
11:35p 3300 W North, Humboldt Park, M/30

11:35p 3300 W North, Humboldt Park, F/26
11:45p 1200 S Avers, North Lawndale, M/33
Saturday 8/13
1:40a 5200 S Pulaski, West Elsdon, M/23
2:05a 3400 W Fullerton, Logan Square, M/23
3:20a 4700 W Gladys, Austin, M/34
5:00a 6900 N Sheridan, Rogers Park, M/24
12:40p 8700 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/20
1:00p 3800 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/27
1:00p 3800 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/10
1:50p 12700 S Union, West Pullman, M/25
4:30p 7100 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, F/20
4:55p 2500 S Francisco, Little Village, M/17
8:35p I290 at Western, Near West Side, M/32
8:35p I290 at Western, Near West Side, F/29
10:30p 11300 S Carpenter, Morgan Park, M/29
10:45p 8600 S Essex, South Chicago, M/34
10:50p 1800 S Carpenter, Lower W Side, F/24
10:50p 1800 S Carpenter, Lower W Side, M/25
11:25p 7900 S Maryland, Chatham, M/36
Sunday 8/14
12:05a 2900 W 82nd, Ashburn, M/19
12:05a 2900 W 82nd, Ashburn, M/20
12:35a 4300 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/25
12:55a 4700 S Michigan, Grand Boulevard, M/20
1:25a 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/29
2:20a 5000 W Van Buren, Austin, M/31
3:05a 2100 W Adams, Near West Side, M/31
3:35a 2800 S Harding, Little Village, M/19
4:00a I94 at 115th St, South Deering, M/21
4:30a 2600 S Sawyer, Little Village, F/25
4:30a 2600 S Sawyer, Little Village, M/27
5:10a 5200 W Ferdinand, Austin, M/?
6:15a 1500 S St Louis, North Lawndale, M/?
9:00a 6700 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, M/?
10:45a 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, F/35
10:45a 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/0.1
2:05p 50 E 100th, Roseland, M/36
4:40p 1200 W 92nd, Washington Heights, M/22
8:45p 400 W 111th, Roseland, M/26
9:00p 12300 S Perry, West Pullman, F/6
9:00p 100 N Western, Near West Side, F/21
9:15p 4800 W Potomac, Austin, M/29
9:25p 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/18
11:50p 4100 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/39
Monday Overtime
12:05a 2100 W 70th, Englewood, M/38
12:20a 12000 Parnell, West Pullman, M/29
1:05a 300 N Central, Austin, M/18
1:35a 4900 W Hubbard, Austin, M/16
4:00a 50 N Kilbourn, Garfield Park, M/33
4:55a 1600 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/20

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Case of the Mondays

Posted on Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.Coming off another shitty weekend, Monday offered no relief and proceeded to be a real prick and run up the score:

Monday was the deadliest day in Chicago in 13 years, and 10-year-old Tavon Tanner got caught in the worst of the gun violence as he played with his twin sister on the porch of his Lawndale home.

It was still light outside when Tavon and his family heard gunshots down the street Monday evening. A man in his early 20s had been shot in the head at a basketball court where Tavon was not allowed to play. Two hours later, an older man was shot and killed about four blocks away.

Less than an hour later, someone fired as many as nine shots in front of Tavon’s home in the 3900 block of West Polk Street, hitting the fifth-grader in the back. He collapsed as he followed his mother through the front door.

[…]

Tavon was among 19 people shot Monday in Chicago. Nine of them were killed, marking the most homicides in a single day in the city since July 5, 2003, when 10 homicides were recorded, according to a Tribune analysis of police data.

No word yet on whether Monday was merely “unacceptable”, the more forceful “completely unacceptable” or the more likely “can-any-of-the-dead-be-exploited-if-not-who-cares”.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, August 5th, 2016

Chicago's Lost Olympic Bid

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 42 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 3 killed, 44 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 1 killed, 28 wounded

Friday 8/5
12:40p 6700 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, M/16
1:15p 2700 W Evergreen, West Town, M/15

2:15p 7000 S Eberhart, Grand Crossing, M/22
3:50p 1500 S Harding, North Lawndale, M/18
7:10p 1200 S Western, Near West Side, M/28
8:30p 3800 W Augusta, Humboldt Park, M/16
11:15p 3800 W Diversey, Avondale, M/18
11:15p 3800 W Diversey, Avondale, M/19
11:15p 3800 W Diversey, Avondale, M/21
11:30p 6300 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, M/17
11:45p 3400 W Ogden, North Lawndale, M/27
Saturday 8/6
12:00a 8100 S Kingston, South Chicago, M/24
12:30a 2100 W Devon, West Ridge, M/18
1:30a 1300 S Lawndale, North Lawndale, M/25
2:55a 100 N Leamington, Austin, M/29
3:25a 800 N Cambridge, Near North Side, M/32
3:25a 800 N Cambridge, Near North Side, M/33
4:25a 11600 S Torrence, South Deering, M/25
4:30a 1200 N Ashland, West Town, F/22
10:00a 4900 W Crystal, Austin, M/55
1:15p 500 N Lamon, Austin, M/30
2:45p 5600 S Emerald, Englewood, M/23
3:45p 10 E 123rd, West Pullman, M/30
8:15p 5100 W North, Austin, M/36
8:45p 7400 S Phillips, South Shore, M/44
8:45p 1630 S California, North Lawndale, M/?
8:45p 1630 S California, North Lawndale, M/41
9:00p 4200 S Wells, Fuller Park, M/18
11:00p 1900 S May, Lower W Side, M/26
11:10p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/37
11:35p 4000 W 30th, Little Village, M/17
11:35p 4000 W 30th, Little Village, M/19
Sunday 8/7
1:50a 1800 S Kildare, North Lawndale, M/23
1:50a 1800 S Kildare, North Lawndale, F/23
2:00a 4500 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/19
2:05a 5900 S Normal, Englewood, M/60
2:20a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/43
2:20a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, F/40
2:20a 300 E 130th, Riverdale, M/17
2:20a 300 E 130th, Riverdale, M/41
3:15a 600 S Central, Austin, M/23
3:30a 100 S Springfield, Garfield Park, M/20
3:30a 100 S Springfield, Garfield Park, M/?
3:30a 100 S Springfield, Garfield Park, M/?
3:30a 100 S Springfield, Garfield Park, M/37
4:30a 6000 W Chicago, Austin, M/22
9:05p 5640 S King, Washington Park, M/16
11:10p 4500 S Pulaski, Archer Heights, M/20
Monday Overtime
1:00a 4000 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/20
2:25a 1100 N Western, West Town, M/25
2:25a 3200 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/?

4:15a 3800 S Homan, North Lawndale, M/26

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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July Wrap-up

Posted on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2016

CarnacJuly usually grabs national headlines with the annual Shitshow of the Year. Aside from 30 seconds of national pearl clutching, the rest of the month goes largely ignored all while being one the more stupid months of the year. Case in point…

Final Stupidity Tally: 71 killed, 382 wounded
July 2015: 58 dead, 271 wounded
July 2014: 46 dead, 277 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 66 shot & killed
  • 2 stabbed in self defense
  • 4 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 5 police-involved shootings, 2 fatal
  • 66 in serious or critical condition
  • 64 males killed vs 7 females
  • 98 teenagers shot, 16 killed
  • 17 grazed
  • 1 selfie
  • 22 #ShotInTheAss

Looking ahead, August is typically a repeat of July only without the benefit of a major holiday weekend. Last August posted 56 homicides with an additional 307 shot and wounded. We’re not going to go as far as to predict a repeat of August 1991’s 122 homicides, we will however predict another 70 homicides plus another 425 shot and wounded.

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Shootapalooza Here we go again… teen-to-20-something suburbanites flood Grant Park and proceed to either get alcohol poisoning, overdose on something, suffer heatstroke and generally enjoy themselves all while the usual cases of lead poisoning continue at their record pace elsewhere around town.

Final Shootapalooza tally: 8 killed, 48 wounded
Shootapalooza 2015: 4 killed, 36 wounded
Shootapalooza 2014: 5 killed, 25 wounded
Shootapalooza 2013: 2 killed, 24 wounded

Friday 7/29
12:30p 4400 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/30
2:10p 3100 W Montrose, Albany Park, M/29
2:45p 2000 N Laporte, Belmont Cragin, M/49
2:45p 2000 N Laporte, Belmont Cragin, M/22
5:45p 700 E 82nd, Chatham, M/17
7:15p 2400 W 79th, Ashburn, M/21

7:45p 5600 S Michigan, Washington Park, M/23
8:00p 8700 S Peoria, Auburn Gresham, M/35
8:10p 9100 S Chappel, Calumet Heights, M/23
9:00p 6100 S Green, Englewood, M/20
11:15p 3500 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/50
Saturday 7/30
12:30a 8200 S Saginaw, South Chicago, F/28
12:30a 8200 S Saginaw, South Chicago, M/32
1:30a 3600 N Recreation, Lake View, M/23
3:25a 100 N Leclaire, Austin, F/27
3:25a 100 N Leclaire, Austin, F/21
4:00a 300 W Marquette, Englewood, M/34
4:00a 4700 S Wells, Fuller Park, M/23
5:30p 4300 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/33
6:30p 300 E 37th, Douglas, M/20
7:10p 6600 S Champlain, Woodlawn, M/21
7:30p 2700 E 87th, South Chicago, M/60
9:30p 12700 S Sangamon, West Pullman, M/16
10:00p 900 N Kedvale, Humboldt Park, M/16
10:00p 900 N Kedvale, Humboldt Park, M/22
10:00p 900 N Kedvale, Humboldt Park, F/41
10:00p 5300 W Chicago, Austin, M/18
10:00p 5300 W Chicago, Austin, M/63
11:00p 8100 S Cottage Grove, Chatham, M/27
11:40p 7300 S Emerald, Englewood, M/32
Sunday 7/31
1:00a 200 N Kostner, Garfield Park, M/27
12:35a 4100 N Maypole, Garfield Park, M/38
1:25a 2000 N Kedzie, Logan Square, M/34
1:35a 200 E Pershing, Douglas, M/25
1:35a 1100 N Cicero, Austin, M/28
3:00a 7100 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/32
3:40a 2400 N Western, Logan Square, M/28
4:00a 6200 N Talman, West Ridge, F/20
4:30a 2600 W Madison, Near West Side, M/31
6:45a 3200 W 26th, Little Village, M/24
11:20a 3100 W Monroe, Garfield Park, M/23
12:15p 1500 E 70th, South Shore, M/17
1:45p 6700 S Peoria, Englewood, M/21
1:45p 6700 S Peoria, Englewood, M/23
2:05p 5700 W Chicago, Austin, F/?
5:30p 500 E Pershing, Douglas, M/20
5:30p 500 E Pershing, Douglas, M/23
5:30p 3048 W 5th, Garfield Park, M/20
5:35p 12700 S Union, West Pullman, M/22
6:30p 700 S St. Louis, Garfield Park, M/20
8:30p 4000 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/17
8:35p 11100 S Union, Roseland, M/19
11:15p 1100 N Hamlin, Humboldt Park, F/22
Monday Aftershow
1:35a 1200 S Independence, North Lawndale, M/26
3:35a 1000 W Maxwell, Near West Side, M/?

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Self Defense, Again

Posted on Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

Self Defense ZoneIt’s likely no coincidence that if one sees a 50% jump in persons catching lead, one would see a similar jump in justified lead catching as well. The latest incident will certainly leave a mark via a high speed lead tracheotomy:

“A civilian employee of the Chicago Police Department shot and wounded one of two people who tried to rob him at gunpoint Monday morning in the Lawndale neighborhood on the West Side, authorities said.

The employee, a 57-year-old detention aide, was getting on his motorcycle in the 1300 block of South Sawyer Avenue shortly before 6 a.m. when two men approached, according to a statement from police.

One of the men pointed a handgun at the employee while the other one went through the employee’s pockets and attempted to take the employee’s gun, which he was licensed to carry, the statement said.

The employee shot at the robber who had the gun, hitting him in the neck. The gunman, 31, was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital in critical condition, the statement said.”

In short, good.

UPDATE: Two charged with trying to rob civilian CPD employee

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 22nd, 2016

Hydrant open, 1928 Chicago.

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 42 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 7 killed, 34 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 30 wounded

Friday 7/22
1:15p 1400 W 17th, Lower W Side, M/26
4:30p 6400 S Lowe, Englewood, M/18
6:15p 10700 S Edbrooke, Roseland, M/20

7:00p 11900 S Lafayette, West Pullman, F/40
9:00p 9300 S St Lawrence, Roseland, M/18
9:40p 6800 S Ashland, Englewood, F/19
9:40p 6800 S Ashland, Englewood, M/21
9:45p 3000 W Lexington, Garfield Park, F/46
10:25p 1600 N Monitor, Austin, F27
11:05p 4400 W Jackson, Garfield Park, F/40
11:05p 4400 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/26
Saturday 7/23
12:15a 1100 S Richmond, North Lawndale, M/48
12:20a 10100 S Lowe, Washington Heights, M/22
12:25a 6400 W Belmont, Dunning, M/38
12:25a 7600 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/35
2:00a 6500 S Ashland, Englewood, M/29
3:30a 1700 W 21st, Lower W Side, M/23
3:30a 1700 W 21st, Lower W Side, M/39
4:50a 1100 S Sacramento, North Lawndale, F/30
5:30a 3300 W 38th, Brighton Park, M/19
6:45a 1500 W Garfield, New City, M/31
12:50p 8000 S Laflin, Auburn Gresham, M/23
1:00p 1900 S Allport, Lower W Side, M/47
1:35p 10400 S Wentworth, Roseland, M/25
4:00p 7100 S Champlain, Grand Crossing, M/24
7:15p 4500 S Greenwood, Kenwood, F/23
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
10:20p 5400 W Augusta, Austin, M/33
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
Sunday 7/24
2:10a 5600 S Kostner, West Elsdon, M/20
4:00a 8700 S Burley, South Chicago, M/27
5:30a 2400 W Chicago, West Town, M/23
5:30a 2400 W Chicago, West Town, F/28
2:20p 1800 W 48th, New City, M/27
3:30p 3900 S Kedzie, Brighton Park M/19
4:20p 7800 S Hamilton, Auburn Gresham, M/22
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
8:00p 8500 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/20
10:35p 300 S Kildare, Garfield Park, M/21
10:45p 1300 S Sawyer, North Lawndale, M/20
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/17
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/17
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/19
Monday Overtime
1:10a 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, F/14
1:35a 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/35
2:25a 11900 S Lafayette, West Pullman, M/44
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/32
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/32
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/39
5:55a 1300 S Sawyer, North Lawndale, M/?

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Annual Heatwave

Posted on Wednesday, July 20th, 2016

Chicago's 1995 heatwaveAround this time every year, we usually partake in heatwave. While this time around, we’re not looking at a 1995 repeat, it will get toasty for the next few days.

“Scorching temperatures and muggy air will make the Chicago area feel like a giant sauna over the next several days, sending emergency responders into high alert while prompting pop-up community cooling stations, makeshift ice beds for zoo animals and postponement of popular outdoor events.

Temperatures Thursday are expected to reach the low to mid-90s and the high 90s on Friday, with humidity levels creating a heat index that feels more like 100 to 110 degrees, according to Kevin Donofrio, meteorologist with the National Weather Service.

The heat wave will continue through the weekend, with temperatures only a few digits lower during the day Saturday and Sunday and remaining in the mid-70s and even low 80s overnight, Donofrio said. Temperatures are expected to drop early next week.

The last time the Chicago area had a heat wave of this length was July 2013.”

Like we’ve stated in the past, extreme heat acts much like extreme cold – people tend to stay indoors and therefore (usually) out of the line of fire, but once the sun goes down, the hot sun is replaced by hot lead.

During the 2013 heatwave, 4 were killed and another 16 were shot and wounded. All but two occurred after sunset. Given this year’s 1990s-like pace, we’re don’t foresee a slow down, just less while the sun is out and more when it’s not.

Photo courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 15th, 2016

PokeZombies

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 55 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 10 killed, 34 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 45 wounded

Friday 7/15
12:15p 5400 W Iowa, Austin, M/22
3:00p 600 S Cicero, Austin, M/19
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/21
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/25
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, F/37
7:50p 4900 S Langley, Grand Boulevard, M/27
7:55p 6049 S Halsted, Englewood, M/30
8:00p 4035 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/21
10:50p 13300 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/29
Saturday 7/16
1:00a 1900 W 64th, Englewood, M/27
2:30a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/43
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/20
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/24
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/31
4:00a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, F/19
4:00a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, M/28
4:15a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/26
4:15a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/30
4:35a 300 W 52nd, Fuller Park, M/41
4:45a 8000 S Vincennes, Chatham, M/29
9:30a 4500 W West End, Garfield Park, M/18
9:30a 500 N Laramie, Austin, M/19
1:35p 6900 S Harper, South Shore, M/19
6:00p 4300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/17
6:00p 4300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, F/20
6:30p 4900 W Adams, Austin, M/24
8:45p 4900 W Augusta, Austin, M/19
8:45p 3800 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/27
9:00p 4700 N Washington, Austin, M/40
10:30p 2000 S Albany, North Lawndale, M/45
11:00p 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/?
Sunday 7/17
12:50a 4700 S Ellis, Kenwood, M/15
12:50a 4700 S Ellis, Kenwood, M/16
1:30a 7600 S South Chicago, Avalon Park, M/17
1:30a 7900 S Ingleside, Chatham, M/37
2:00a 100 S Leamington, Austin, F/23
2:00a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/23
2:10a 8700 S Morgan, Auburn Gresham, M/25
3:10a 2200 S Leavitt, Lower W Side, M/20
3:10a 2200 S Leavitt, Lower W Side, M/?
3:15a 2400 W 45th, Brighton Park, M/34
3:15a 2400 W 45th, Brighton Park, M/16
3:15a 100 E Garfield, Washington Park, M/22
3:15a 2100 W North, West Town, M/32
4:45a 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/38
6:55a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/23
9:00a 4800 S Laflin, New City, M/28
10:10a 800 W 76th, Auburn Gresham, M/27
11:20a 4900 W West End, Austin, M/25
11:25a 5700 S Union, Englewood, M/18
12:00p 3900 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/26
2:30p 8100 S Normal, Chatham, M/21
3:15p 200 E 59th, Washington Park, M/23
3:15p 200 E 59th, Washington Park, M/24
6:30p 3500 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/17
7:55p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/20
7:55p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/20
8:25p 7400 S Kimbark, South Shore, M/21
8:35p 5300 W Harrison, Austin, M/41
11:05p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/33
11:05p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/37
11:50p 5000 W Jackson, Austin, M/18
11:50p 5000 W Jackson, Austin, M/33

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Gone Fishin’

Posted on Monday, July 11th, 2016

Gone Fishin'We’re taking off a few days which means minimal updates, unless the wheels come off. We’ll be back this weekend for the usual round-up of the weekend’s stupidity.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 8th, 2016

Another train wreck

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 40 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 9 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 29 wounded

Friday 7/8
4:00p 200 W 108th, Roseland, F/18
4:40p 1400 S Ridgeway, North Lawndale, M/28
5:20p 5100 S Racine, New City, M/23
9:00p 5200 W Van Buren, Austin, F/21
9:20p 1400 N Spaulding, Humboldt Park, M/48
9:35p 11200 S Indiana, Roseland, M/22
9:40p 5500 W North, Austin, M/17
10:30p 2300 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/41
10:50p 10700 S Langley, Pullman, M/33
10:50p 13100 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/30
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/59
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/17
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/32
Saturday 7/9
1:00a 1400 N Massasoit, Austin, F/22
1:50a 6600 S Racine, Englewood, M/19
1:50a 6600 S Racine, Englewood, M/19
2:55a 1500 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/22
2:55a 1500 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/26
3:10a 5400 S Winchester, New City, M/24
8:55a 1300 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/30
2:15p 500 E 88th, Chatham, M/21
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/17
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/18
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/19
3:55p 5400 S Drexel, Hyde Park, M/32
3:55p 4500 S Fairfield, Brighton Park, M/26
7:40p 1900 N Mozart, Logan Square, M/22
8:15p 4112 S Ellis, Oakland, M/19
9:40p 5500 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
10:45p 1025 N Central Park, Humboldt Park, M/27
10:45p 6500 S Racine, Englewood, M/15
10:45p 6500 S Racine, Englewood, M/21
10:55p 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/17
10:55p 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/20
Sunday 7/10
12:30a 10000 S Vernon, Roseland, M/23
1:15a 1800 E 87th, Avalon Park, M/18
2:30p 6100 S California, Chicago Lawn, M/18
3:20p 100 N Albany, Garfield Park, M/23
7:40p 4300 S Michigan, Grand Boulevard, M/17
9:45p 5500 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/21
9:45p 5500 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/35
10:15p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/33
10:15p 2400 E 78th, South Shore, M/24
10:40p 13200 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/19

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Stats Massage

Posted on Thursday, July 7th, 2016

It moved. It’s a time honored tradition amongst politicians to “juke” the stats for one’s own benefit. The latest incarnation is to call an early end to the year’s bloodiest weekend and label it a success.

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Tuesday credited the potent but costly mix of police overtime, summer jobs and a preemptive gang takedown for Chicago’s least deadly July Fourth weekend in eight years.

[…]

This year’s July Fourth weekend reversed the trend, albeit briefly, with murders falling to nearly half the two-day 2015 weekend, when there were seven killings. That’s why Emanuel was patting the extraordinary number of moonlighting police officers on the back Tuesday instead of bemoaning the bloodshed on Chicago streets.”

Yeah, no. Following the same script as last year, the weekend started off on a somewhat quiet note only to have the wheels come off late into the evening on the 4th when 30 people ended up catching lead in just eight hours. Last year, a similar flurry (32 shot in nine hours) counted, this year, well, only those shot before midnight count.

“I think it moved.”

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Shitshow of the Year

Posted on Friday, July 1st, 2016

Marilyn Monroe

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 62 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 11 killed, 55 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 16 killed, 66 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 15 killed, 63 wounded*

Friday 7/1
5:25p 5700 S Bishop, Englewood, M/18
8:45p 800 E 62nd, Woodlawn, M/16
10:35p 5100 W Fulton, Austin, F/17
10:35p 7200 S Phillips, South Shore, M/33
11:15p 4300 W Cermak, North Lawndale, M/49
Saturday 7/2
12:50a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, M/39
1:30a 7500 S Eggleston, Grand Crossing, M/27
3:30a 700 N California, Humboldt Park, M/31
3:30a 700 N California, Humboldt Park, M/44
3:40a 2200 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/23
5:00a 9200 S Lowe, Washington Heights, M/33
2:00p 1200 W 71st, Englewood, M/29
3:00p 7200 S Spaulding, Chicago Lawn, M/18
3:25p 6400 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, F/54
4:15p 300 W Root, Fuller Park, M/36
7:35p 11800 S Oakley, Morgan Park, M/24
Sunday 7/3
2:20a 2500 S Spaulding, Little Village, M/38
3:00a 3600 W Grand, Humboldt Park, M/35
3:50a 9600 S Morgan, Washington Heights, F/37
4:50a 12300 S Halsted, West Pullman, F/?
6:05a 2800 W Polk, Garfield Park, M/16
1:55p 9200 S Throop, Washington Heights, M/18
10:00p 7246 S Lowe, Englewood, M/16
10:00p 7246 S Lowe, Englewood, M/17
10:30p 4000 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/20
10:45p 55 W Cermak, Near South Side, M/15
10:45p 2212 S Lawndale, Little Village, M/?
10:50p 1800 S Trumbull, North Lawndale, F/42
11:45p 8800 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, M/37
11:50p 7100 S State, Grand Crossing, M/52
Independence Day
12:45a 2400 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/30
1:20a 10700 S Champlain, Pullman, M/22
2:10a 8000 S Pulaski, Ashburn, M/23
4:10a 1800 N Mason, Austin, M/21
9:00a 200 W 108th, Roseland, M/34
12:15p 200 W 95th, Roseland, M/27
1:25p 9800 S Ingleside, Pullman, M/33
2:15p 1500 W Garfield, New City, M/17
7:15p 1700 N Mozart, West Town, M/32
8:50p 1800 W Erie, West Town, M/22
8:50p 7259 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/30
9:20p 5700 S May, Englewood, M/37
9:20p 5700 S May, Englewood, M/?
9:20p 6900 S Clyde, South Shore, M/?
11:00p 2000 S Western, Lower W Side, M/11
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/5
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/8
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, M/19
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/30
11:35p 10500 S Yates, South Deering, F/17
11:35p 10500 S Yates, South Deering, M/19
Tuesday Overtime
12:00a 7900 S State, Chatham, M/15
12:20a 6200 S Drexel, Woodlawn, M/26
12:40a 3900 S Archer, Brighton Park, M/23
1:00a 300 S Michigan, Loop, F/20
1:35a 11500 S Racine, West Pullman, F/26
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/34
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/31
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/39
2:15a 100 S Pulaski, Garfield Park, M/19
2:30a 6800 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, F/22
2:45a 1900 E 87th, Avalon Park, M/35
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, F/24
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, M/34
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, M/36
3:00a 1000 N Latrobe, Austin, M/38
3:05a 800 N Lavergne, Austin, M/?
3:05a 800 N Lavergne, Austin, F/30

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday
*One additional day

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Public Service Announcement

Posted on Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

Ass Launch As we gear up for the annual July 4th Weekend Shitshow, we’d like to remind readers that before telling your buddy, “hold my beer and watch this…”, fireworks (like many firearms) are illegal in Chicago.

“You’d never know it from the booms audible during all hours of the day and night, but fireworks are illegal in Chicago.

Anything that’s handheld, explodes or takes flight is off limits. That ban extends to sparklers, which are OK for use elsewhere in Illinois but not within the city.

Party poppers — those gun- or bottle-shaped spewers of confetti — are totally legal. So are smoke bombs, snakes, “fountain” sprays of sparks and those things that go “snap” when you throw them at the sidewalk.

Trick noisemakers — like “booby traps” and “auto burglar alarms” — also fall into the category of legit novelty fireworks. “Cigarette loads,” hidden inside cigarettes, may sound like an accident waiting to happen, but they’re also completely legal.”

That said, feel free to do whatever the hell you want because every single fireworks call that is dispatched is immediately “coded out” and ignored.

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Pride Weekend Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 24th, 2016

Idiots jumping on a cop car.

Final Stupidity Tally: 8 killed, 50 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 42 wounded

Friday 6/24
4:30p 5035 S Elizabeth, New City, M/25
6:50p 9100 S Emerald, Washington Heights, M/26
9:00p 4900 W Kamerling, Austin, M/30
9:00p 1048 N Harding, Humboldt Park, M/23
9:40p 2600 W Potomac, West Town, M/25
9:40p 6500 S Laflin, Englewood, M/20
10:00p 7700 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/26
10:00p 100 N Laporte, Austin, M/18
Saturday 6/25
12:25a 7600 S Harvard, Grand Crossing, M/23
12:35a 8100 S Green, Auburn Gresham, M/25
12:40a 700 S Spaulding, Garfield Park, M/16
12:40a 700 S Spaulding, Garfield Park, F/22
1:00a 6800 N Ridge, West Ridge, F/21
1:00a 6800 N Ridge, West Ridge, M/26
2:00a 5900 S Albany, Chicago Lawn, M/30
3:50a Uncooperative ER Walk-in, M/26
4:50a 4700 W Monroe, Austin, M/26
8:05a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/19
11:25a 5900 S Albany, Chicago Lawn, M/25
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, F/19
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, F/20
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, M/20
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, M/23
3:15p 3000 W Fulton, Garfield Park, M/21
3:15p 3000 W Fulton, Garfield Park, M/23
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/30
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/50
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/67
7:15p 5827 S Maplewood, Gage Park, M/22

8:45p 10600 S Cottage Grove, Roseland, M/39
8:55p 5300 N Kenmore, Edgewater, M/42
9:45p 8622 S Marquette, South Chicago, M/39
11:00p 3400 W Ogden, North Lawndale, F/25
11:00p 2500 W Division, West Town, M/24
11:00p 2500 W Division, West Town, M/32
11:35p 9057 S Bishop, Washington Heights, M/18
Sunday 6/26
1:10a 3500 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/26
1:20a 2700 W Polk, Garfield Park, M/17
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/55
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/35
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/19
2:00a 1800 S Blue Island, Lower W Side, M/29
3:15a 400 N Western, West Town, M/23
4:25a 7200 S South Chicago, Grand Crossing, M/30
4:40a 1400 W 71st, Englewood, M/19
5:00a 3500 W Walnut, Garfield Park, F/28
5:10a 900 N Massasoit, Austin, M/41
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/20
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/22
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/?
3:50p 2100 N Western, Logan Square, M/19
4:40p 200 W 107th, Roseland, M/16
6:40p 100 S Mayfield, Austin, M/53
8:50p 7000 S Kanst, Chicago Lawn, M/19
8:50p 7000 S Kanst, Chicago Lawn, M/24
(story)
11:00p 900 N Sacramento, Humboldt Park, M/20
Monday Overtime
12:45a 6300 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/19
5:20a 4100 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/32
Final Parade Stupidity Ticker

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit: Crime in Wrigleyville + Boystown

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More Illegal’r

Posted on Tuesday, June 21st, 2016

HYSTERIA!If the day ends in a ‘y’ there’s an excellent chance that our 50 duly elected, semi-retarded [omitted] are looking to tax, fine, restrict and/or ban something. Today being a day that ends in a ‘y’, it’s a good a time as any to ban something that’s already banned, but may as well make it more banned:

Ald. Ray Lopez (15th) plans to introduce a resolution at the City Council meeting on Wednesday to address the issue of gun violence and the illegal use of automatic and semi-automatic weapons.

“These weapons exist for only one reason, to create mass carnage and human casualty,” Lopez said Tuesday at a press conference. “Forty-nine lives were taken in the Orlando shooting, but these rifles are also used in the city of Chicago. We are here to say enough is enough.”

[…]

The resolution also calls for exploring “all constitutionally available avenues” to end the violence caused by the use of automatic and semi-automatic weapons in the Back of the Yards community, Chicago and throughout the nation.

We’ll ignore the “automatic” nonsense and the fact these weapons are so rarely used here that we’re able to count the number of incidents using less than half the city’s alder[omitted]. Instead we’ll focus on section 8-20-075 of Chicago’s Municipal code relating to the “Possession of assault weapons” with an “assault weapon” being defined as anything that has mass and reflects light:

It shall be unlawful for a person to import, sell, manufacture, transfer, or possess an assault weapon.

And not to be out done by the above [omitted], Milly apparently doesn’t pay attention to the news nor visits this site:

Ald. Milly Santiago (31st) said stopping gun violence is a community effort to ensure that “what happened in Orlando doesn’t happen in Chicago,” and she calls upon parents to lead the way.

Milly, it has been happening here every day of every week of every year for the better part of a half century, only by [omitted] [omitted] [omitted] instead of [omitted] [omitted] [omitted]. Dumb [omitted].

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Father’s Day Weekend

Posted on Friday, June 17th, 2016

Al Bundy

Final Stupidity Tally: 13 killed, 46 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 7 killed, 32 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 6 killed, 24 wounded

Friday 6/17
3:10p 7910 S Wabash, Chatham, M/20
3:45p 5500 W North, Austin, M/22
5:15p 3100 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/17
5:35p 3100 W Douglas, North Lawndale, F/39
6:30p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/33
6:30p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/44
8:35p 1400 E 70th, South Shore, M/23
9:05p 6500 S Hamilton, Englewood, M/16
10:40p 2200 S Kirkland, North Lawndale, M/22

Saturday 6/18
1:30a 3900 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/19
1:30a 3900 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/?
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/34
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/30
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/29
4:40a 3400 N Lowell, Irving Park, M/?
5:30a 3200 N Lake Shore, Lake View, M/27
6:30a 4800 W Monroe, Austin, M/23
8:35a 4300 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/28
9:50a 1400 E 54th, Hyde Park, F/65 (story)
11:25a 700 S Central Park, Garfield Park, M/20
2:00p 3600 W Thomas, Humboldt Park, M/18
3:00p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/17
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/19
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/20
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/31
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/?
6:05p 7300 S Champlain, Grand Crossing, M/23
7:30p 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/15
7:30p 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/17
8:20p 7600 S Eggleston, Grand Crossing, M/33
10:15p 8710 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/22
10:15p 8710 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/30
11:00p 1100 N Rockwell, West Town, M/28
11:00p 2700 W Haddon, West Town, M/29
11:45p 200 S Lavergne, Austin, M/15
11:45p 700 E 131st, Riverdale, F/58
Father’s Day
1:00a ER Walk-in, M/24
1:00a ER Walk-in, M/29
1:10a 2700 W Augusta, West Town, F/23
2:00a 5200 N Kimball, North Park, M/19
2:00a 5200 N Kimball, North Park, M/28
2:20a 900 E 45th, Kenwood, M/37
3:00a Boystown Mayhem
3:10a 3500 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M/29
3:20a 7900 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/19
4:25a 5400 S Albany, Gage Park, M/40
1:30p 1700 W 46th, New City, M/22
6:15p 6100 S Kimbark, Woodlawn, M/3
6:50p 6400 S Lowe, Englewood, M/21
9:05p 1600 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/21
10:30p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/19
10:30p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/25
10:35p 600 S Lake Shore, Loop, M/21
11:30p 6700 S Green, Englewood, M/17
11:30p 7200 S May, Englewood, M/25
Monday Overtime
12:45a 1500 W 69th, Englewood, M/29
1:30a 7300 S University, Grand Crossing, M/22

2:00a 1200 W 48th, New City, M/23
3:40a 700 S Kildare, Garfield Park, M/33
4:30a 4300 S Lake Shore, Kenwood, M/24

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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“For the Children” Update

Posted on Wednesday, June 15th, 2016

Warning Revenue CameraFor those of you not paying attention, the city has been having some personal finance issues of late. In order to help shore up the finances, red light cameras were deployed as a way to illegally milk the citizenry and enrich insiders promote safe driving habits and for the children, of course.

Back in February, a judge ruled that many of the tickets were BS and refunds were to be paid out. Today, like all good civil servants who are entitled to your money, they prefer to ignore and obfuscate instead of comply with a silly judgement:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s administration was accused Wednesday of stonewalling discovery in a high-stakes lawsuit with the potential to force cash-strapped Chicago to refund $200 million in fines and late fees paid by motorists denied due process after receiving red-light camera and speed camera tickets.

Attorney Jacie Zolna said City Hall is trying to “delay the inevitable” by refusing to make a “corporate representative” available for a deposition in the high-stakes case.

The city has further refused to turn over “basic” information about how many red-light and speed camera tickets have been issued; how much money the city has collected from those citations; and how much of it is subject to being refunded after motorists were denied their constitutional right to due process, Zolna said.”

Another fraud is about to run its course and the taxpayer will once again be on the hook to make up for another failed revenue slight of hand.

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Goin’ Stompin’

Posted on Tuesday, June 14th, 2016

Police probe apparent head stomping by officer after video emerges:

“Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson asked Monday for an investigation into the actions of two officers after a video showed one officer struggling with a man and the other telling bystanders to back off, then appearing to stomp the struggling man in the head.

The video, showing an arrest that took place in the 3900 block of West Grenshaw Street, was posted on Facebook Monday afternoon, apparently soon after the incident. By about 10 p.m., the video posted by someone using the name Terrance Hustlehard had been viewed more than 300,000 times and had been shared about 14,000 times.

Police News Affairs disclosed the investigation but did not provide details of the arrest. A police source said the two officers who are most prominent in the video were taken to Rush University Medical Center for treatment following the incident, one with a bite injury to a finger and choking injuries, the other with a bite to the arm.”

What happened prior to tape being rolled? We’ll assume that video of that doesn’t exist.

UPDATE:

“After careful consideration and reviewing the video footage, Superintendent (Eddie) Johnson has decided to relieve one of the officers involved in the incident that occurred on the 3900 block of West Grenshaw of his police powers while IPRA investigates the case,” police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in a statement.

Stay fetal.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 10th, 2016

Forklift Fail

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 39 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 33 wounded

Friday 6/10
12:55p 2400 S St. Louis, Little Village, M/?
2:45p 6700 S Jeffery, South Shore, M/73
4:50p 5600 S Bishop, Englewood, M/17
4:50p 5600 S Bishop, Englewood, M/20
8:05p 6700 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, F/3
8:05p 6700 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, F/34
8:10p 3000 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/25
8:45p 5500 S Wells, Englewood, M/26
8:45p 5500 S Wells, Englewood, M/17
8:50p 5100 N Simonds, Uptown, M/24
9:30p 8904 S Brandon, South Chicago, M/27
10:10p 1725 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, M/20
10:40p 1725 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, M/22
10:45p 30 N Latrobe, Austin, M/22
10:50p 300 N Central, Austin, F/51
11:40p 11300 S Normal, Roseland, M/24
Saturday 6/11
12:15a 1600 W Maypole, Near West Side, M/23
1:30a 8800 S Princeton, Roseland, M/17
6:00p 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/15
6:00p 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/24
8:10p 9800 S Carpenter, Washington Heights, M/20
10:00p 3651 N Recreation, Lake View, M/19
10:25p 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/17
10:25p 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/19
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/15
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/21
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/25
11:45p 3600 S Indiana, Douglas, M/22
11:45p 3600 S Indiana, Douglas, M/23
Sunday 6/12
1:00a 9000 S Marshfield, Washington Heights, M/42
1:00a 9000 S Marshfield, Washington Heights, M/?

1:45a 2300 S Sacramento, Little Village, M/18
1:55a 6300 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/16
1:55a 6300 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/20
3:00a 100 N Laporte, Austin, M/25
4:10a 2700 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, F/30
4:10a 2700 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/30
5:30a 6100 S Halsted, Englewood, M/40
8:35a 1100 W 72nd, Englewood, M/32
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/28
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/29
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/67
3:00p 4200 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/17
3:00p 4200 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/21
11:00p 1800 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/28
Monday Overtime
3:05a 3000 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/22

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Too Funny

Posted on Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

Good FellasAn instant classic:

Moments after Dominiq Greer held a news conference Wednesday to announce a lawsuit seeking $15 million from the city — alleging a Chicago Police officer wrongfully shot him seven times — he was arrested on a murder warrant as he waited for a ride.

“I had no clue,” said his lawyer Eugene Hollander, who hosted the 10 a.m. conference at his Loop office. “It’s definitely a surprise to me. He was going to grab an Uber back home and as he was waiting a squad car pulled up.”

Greer, a convicted felon, was arrested on a warrant for the May 27 shooting death of 22-year-old Kevin Larry, but he hasn’t been charged formally. The warrant was issued May 29.

“We became aware he was holding a press conference for a civil suit against the police department, and the police department doesn’t wait to apprehend people accused of murder,” said Anthony Guglielmi, chief spokesman for the department.

Whoops!

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Heatwave?

Posted on Tuesday, June 7th, 2016

Homer in a kiddie poolSupposedly, it’s going to get hot this weekend which likely means we’ll be in for an extra helping of stupidity.

“A heat wave could make it feel as hot as 100 degrees in the city this weekend — and it might even break some records.

The weekend will be hot, sunny and humid, with Friday hitting 90 degrees — but it’ll feel even hotter, said AccuWeather meteorologist Tom Kines. Saturday could feel as hot as 100 degrees.

Saturday’s record high temperature is 97 degrees, and there’s a chance we could break that this weekend, Kines said.

“It’s gonna be toasty out there,” Kines said. “It’s gonna take a few days to get here, but once it does it’s definitely gonna feel like summer.””

Extreme heat acts much like extreme cold – people tend to stay indoors and therefore (usually) out of the line of fire. However, once the sun goes down and if we’re looking at overnight lows around 70°+ with some humidity, the porches, sidewalks and corners will be packed with potential lead catchers with ample delivery options available.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 3rd, 2016

Nothing to See Here Folks... Naked GunUnless a CPD officer dons a Confederate flag cape and shoots a transvestite gorilla attempting to use the ladies room at Lincoln Park Zoo, there’s nothing to see here.

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 31 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 33 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 30 wounded

Friday 6/3
6:40p 7700 S Trumbull, Ashburn, M/16
6:50p 2900 W Armitage, Logan Square, M/20
6:50p 2900 W Armitage, Logan Square, M/21
9:40p I55 & King Dr, Near South Side, M/?
9:40p I55 & King Dr, Near South Side, M/?
9:40p 300 E Kensington, West Pullman, M/19
9:50p 13300 S Torrence, Hegewisch, M/40
9:50p 13300 S Torrence, Hegewisch, M/44
10:05p 4700 N Virgina, Lincoln Square, M/35
11:00p 1100 W 72nd, Englewood, F/20
11:40p 4609 W Erie, Austin, M/49
Saturday 6/4
12:05a 2051 W 71st, Englewood, M/21
12:15a 4100 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, F/18
12:15a 4100 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, M/20
1:30a 100 N Mason, Austin, M/27
2:05a 500 N Springfield, Humboldt Park, M/20
2:50a 200 N Laramie, Austin, M/35
2:55a 12700 S Halsted, West Pullman, M/31
3:00a 700 W Marquette, Englewood, M/14
3:15a 900 W 96th, Washington Heights, M/?
3:55a 6400 S Keeler, West Lawn, F/34
5:20a 6300 S Honore, Englewood, M/32
12:00p 3200 W 83rd, Ashburn, M/2mo
(story)
3:45p 1600 E 70th, South Shore, M/17
3:45p 1600 E 70th, South Shore, M/18
6:00p 8600 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/21
11:25p 4700 S Ashland, New City, M/15
Sunday 6/5
12:50a 7600 S Drexel, Grand Crossing, M/?
12:50a 4400 S Marshfield, New City, M/15
2:00a 3500 S Vincennes, Douglas, M/25
3:00a 600 W 28th, Bridgeport, M/36
6:05a 3200 N Pulaski, Avondale, M/27
9:45a 2500 S Francisco, Little Village, F/34
3:00p 4400 S Wentworth, Fuller Park, M/23
6:20p 900 N Lamon, Austin, M/22
9:30p 11200 S Perry, Roseland, F/42
10:15p 3100 W North, Humboldt Park, M/21
11:00p Uptown Stabbing Victim in Critical Condition
11:30p 8100 S Havard, Chatham, M/43
Monday Overtime
1:40a 6600 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/25
4:00a 2400 S Michigan, Near South Side, M/27
4:00a 2400 S Michigan, Near South Side, F/23

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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May Wrap-up

Posted on Thursday, June 2nd, 2016

CarnacIn the past, we’ve stated that May acts like a warm-up act to summer’s headliner. Now the crowd isn’t just warmed up, they’re a ranging dumpster fire. 65 67 homicides for the month was the most seen by a May since the late 1990s and a 4-handle on the total shot metric has never been witnessed in this site’s short history.

Final Stupidity Tally: 67 killed, 340 wounded
May 2015: 50 dead, 281 wounded
May 2014: 47 dead, 230 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 62 shot & killed
  • 4 stabbed
  • 1 felony murder
  • 7 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 1 police-involved shootings
  • 48 in serious or critical condition
  • 59 males killed vs 7 females
  • 72 teenagers shot, 9 killed
  • 17 grazed
  • 2 selfies
  • 21 #ShotInTheAss

Looking ahead, June usually feeds off the stupidity of May only without the benefit of a holiday weekend. Last year June posted 51 homicides with an additional 244 shot and wounded. Given the way this year has been going, we’ll predict a total of 60 homicides plus another 390 shot and wounded.

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Felony Murder

Posted on Wednesday, June 1st, 2016

Security camera photo At the time of posting, May has tallied 65 homicides, which is the most since 1998 posted the same amount. However, an incident over the weekend the total may increase by one:

A group of young men turned themselves in to police late Tuesday after their relatives spotted them in surveillance video of a group that allegedly chased a woman to her death on Lake Shore Drive over the weekend.

Community activist Andrew Holmes said at least three young men, believed to be in their late teens and early 20s, were spotted in flyers and on television by their mothers and relatives, who “did the right thing” and made sure they went to police to give their side of the story.

Fox Chicago reports that five young men were in custody early Wednesday.

Depending on the outcome of the investigation, these young lads may find themselves charged with murder because of an obscure Illinois law known as felony murder – persons may be held accountable for any foreseeable deaths that occur during the commission or attempted commission of a felony.

Translation – if a group of jagoffs attempts to harass and/or rob others and the victims are killed in the process of fleeing said jagoffs, they’ll be charged with murder and become eligible for a full ride prison scholarship.

UPDATE: As expected: Murder charges filed in death of woman chased onto Lake Shore Drive

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Memorial Day Weekend

Posted on Friday, May 27th, 2016

Chicago Memorial Day ParadeThis weekend marks the start of the annual Summer Stupidity & Shooting Season. Between now and Labor Day weekend, we’ll expect to see around 225 homicides and an additional 1,000 shot and wounded.

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 68 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 8 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 9 killed, 27 wounded

Friday 5/27
12:50p 4000 S Archer, Brighton Park, M/52
1:35p 5700 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/16
2:00p 300 S Hamlin, Garfield Park, M/20
2:15p 4600 N Racine, Uptown, M/27
2:35p 6700 S Loomis, Englewood, M/39
2:35p 6700 S Loomis, Englewood, M/26
9:25p 1000 S Racine, Near West Side, M/18
11:00p 3700 W 75th, Ashburn, M/25
Saturday 5/28
1:10a 9900 S Paxton, South Deering, M/50
1:10a 9900 S Paxton, South Deering, F/53
1:30a 2400 N Lake Shore, Lincoln Park, F/15
1:30a 2400 N Lake Shore, Lincoln Park, M/28
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/23
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/26
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/27
2:35a 1200 S Independence, North Lawndale, M/17
2:55a 4300 N Kimball, Irving Park, M/21
3:15a 4600 S Honroe, New City, M/25
4:00a 4600 W Jackson, Austin, M/26
4:35a 4300 W West End, Garfield Park, M/24
5:15a 6300 W Montrose, Portage Park, M/23
3:45p 3900 W Erie, Humboldt Park, M/46
3:45p 3900 W Erie, Humboldt Park, M/46
4:20p 1400 W 99th, Washington Heights, M/24
5:20p 200 W Root, Fuller Park, M/27 (story)
7:45p 8300 S Dante, Avalon Park, M/19
8:05p 3900 W Lexington, Garfield Park, F/?
8:40p 1600 W 48th, New City, M/22
8:40p 1600 W 48th, New City, M/32
9:00p 5100 W Chicago, Austin, M/23
10:15p 1500 S Ridgeway, North Lawndale, M/17
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, F/48
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, M/17
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, M/23
11:55p 800 S Independence, Garfield Park, M/28
11:55p 800 S Independence, Garfield Park, M/29
Sunday 5/29
12:35a I90/94 & 35th St, Armour Square, F/20
12:35a I90/94 & 35th St, Armour Square, F/23
1:05a 700 N Kedzie, Humboldt Park, M/21
1:05a 700 N Kedzie, Humboldt Park, M/22
1:40a Flee Robbery, Get Killed Anyway (latest)
2:00a 900 N Cambridge, Near North Side, M/27
3:45a 9700 S Vincennes, Washington Heights, M/23
4:40a 3900 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, F/26
4:45a 5000 W West End, Austin, M/27
5:15a 300 W 108th, Roseland, M/17
12:00p 8700 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/20
12:35p 11500 S Peoria, West Pullman, M/24
4:05p 1200 W 85th, Auburn Gresham, M/23
5:55p 11500 S Wentworth, West Pullman, M/29
10:45p 3800 S Lake Park, Oakland, M/25
11:00p 2100 S Harding, North Lawndale, M/35
11:00p 2100 S Harding, North Lawndale, M/58
11:30p 5900 S Princeton, Englewood, M/21
Memorial Day
12:30a 956 N Massasoit, Austin, M/35
1:00a 400 E 74th, Grand Crossing, M/28
1:30a 1300 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/18
1:30a 1300 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/18
6:15a 6400 S King, Grand Crossing, M/19
10:35a 4800 W Monroe, Austin, M/17
10:45a 3800 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/21
10:45a 3800 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/28
3:55p 6700 S Sangamon, Englewood, M/15
4:55p 8700 S Escanaba, South Chicago, M/16
5:25p 3600 W 30th, Little Village, M/17
9:35p 1500 E 73rd, South Shore, M/23
10:55p 6400 N Rockwell, West Ridge, M/39
11:00p 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/44

Tuesday Overtime
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, F/18
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, F/19
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/30
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/52
12:50a 2600 E 73rd, South Shore, F/17
12:50a 2600 E 73rd, South Shore, M/21
1:45a 10200 S LaSalle, Roseland, M/30

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday

Please note: The previous two Memorial Day weekends fell a week earlier than this year. Adjust your year-over-year comparisons as needed.
2015 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 21 wounded

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Help Wanted

Posted on Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

Help WantedFor whatever reason, holiday weekends, especially those of the Memorial, 4th and Labor variety, partake in their own special brand of stupid. Since an excessive amount of stupidity is a given, the CPD has hung out the stay fetal help wanted sign:

“As the city enters one of the most notoriously violent weekends of the year, the Chicago Police Department is staffing up.

The city made national news in 2012 when ten people were killed and at least 43 people were wounded over Memorial Day weekend and last year was even worse with 12 people killed and at least 41 wounded over three days.

In a memo to officers, Bureau of Patrol Chief Fred Waller announced the “Memorial Day Overtime Initiative,” seeking volunteers to work May 27, 29, 29 and 30.”

While some “volunteers” may look forward to making a little extra coin to babysit jagoffs engaging in poor life choices, taxpayers on the other will no doubt be thrilled to be once again stuck with the overtime and medical tabs.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, May 20th, 2016

Batman bitch slap The last two years saw summer kick off this very weekend with the annual Memorial Day Shitshow. This year, we get another week of practice in before the summer shooting season officially begins on the 27th.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 40 wounded
2015 Memorial Day* tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day* tally: 8 killed, 21 wounded

Friday 5/20
3:50p 3500 S State, Douglas, F/49 (story)
3:50p 3500 S State, Douglas, M/19
7:10p 5100 W Division, Austin, M/18
8:00p 12300 S Wentworth, West Pullman, M/22
9:40p 300 S Cicero, Austin, M/23
9:40p 300 S Cicero, Austin, F/24
Saturday 5/21
12:20a 4300 S State, Grand Boulevard, M/23
12:20a 100 W Garfield, Washington Park, M/30
12:30a 2400 N Laramie, Belmont Cragin, M/23
2:00a 2700 W North, West Town, M/24
3:00a 7900 S Ellis, Chatham, M/35
6:55a 900 N Homan, Humboldt Park, M/33
4:35p 3600 W 13th, North Lawndale, M/21
6:10p 6600 S Champlain, Woodlawn, F/28
6:15p 1000 W 92nd, Washington Heights, M/20
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/18
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/19
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/29
7:30p 11500 S Stewart, West Pullman, M/19
7:40p 1600 W 89th, Auburn Gresham, F/26
7:40p 7000 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/26
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/21
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/27
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/31
9:55p 4600 S Cottage Grove, Grand Boulevard, M/17
9:55p 4600 S Cottage Grove, Grand Boulevard, M/18
11:50p 520 S Cicero, Austin, M/27
Sunday 5/22
2:40a 3900 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/27
2:40a 3900 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/37
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/20
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/35
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/36
4:30a 4100 W Adams, Garfield Park, F/25
6:30a 3100 W Division, West Town, M/23
10:00a 3000 W 59th, Gage Park, M/17
10:00a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/26
4:00p 6900 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, M/20
9:30p 5700 W Bloomingdale, Austin, M/17
10:00p 7100 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/25
10:45p 6900 S Winchester,Englewood, F/24
11:25p 1600 S Komensky, North Lawndale, M/36
Monday Overtime
1:30a 2300 S Leavitt, Lower West Side, M/20
1:30a 2300 S Leavitt, Lower West Side, F/30
2:00a 6400 N Magnolia, Rogers Park, F/50
2:35a 7800 S Kingston, South Shore, M/35

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
*2014/15 Memorial Day = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday

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Fight, Fight, Fight!

Posted on Tuesday, May 17th, 2016

Numerous questionable life choices caught on video.

“A new video capturing a massive fight at a busy Near West Side intersection is going viral.

The video of the fight at West Jackson Boulevard and South Western Avenue Monday afternoon has been shared on Facebook more than 1,800 times. The video was posted with the caption “The Jungle W[e]nt Up.”

In the minute-long video, dozens of people, mostly young men, are captured fighting, throwing punches in the street and disrupting traffic near Golden Fish & Chicken. At one point, the mob appears to target one young man who is knocked to the ground, punching him and kicking him.

As cars zoom around the fight, a lone Chicago Police SUV can be seen stopped at the middle of the intersection. A police officer standing outside the SUV does not appear to intervene.”

No one in their right mind would intervene in a large fight alone. If, by chance, the officer did get involved, it would likely have been all his or her fault anyway. Therefore, staying fetal was the right move.

Side note: why is it not possible to shoot these videos horizontally? Every time…

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