Self Defense, Again

Posted on Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

Self Defense ZoneIt’s likely no coincidence that if one sees a 50% jump in persons catching lead, one would see a similar jump in justified lead catching as well. The latest incident will certainly leave a mark via a high speed lead tracheotomy:

“A civilian employee of the Chicago Police Department shot and wounded one of two people who tried to rob him at gunpoint Monday morning in the Lawndale neighborhood on the West Side, authorities said.

The employee, a 57-year-old detention aide, was getting on his motorcycle in the 1300 block of South Sawyer Avenue shortly before 6 a.m. when two men approached, according to a statement from police.

One of the men pointed a handgun at the employee while the other one went through the employee’s pockets and attempted to take the employee’s gun, which he was licensed to carry, the statement said.

The employee shot at the robber who had the gun, hitting him in the neck. The gunman, 31, was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital in critical condition, the statement said.”

In short, good.

UPDATE: Two charged with trying to rob civilian CPD employee

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 22nd, 2016

Hydrant open, 1928 Chicago.

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 42 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 7 killed, 34 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 30 wounded

Friday 7/22
1:15p 1400 W 17th, Lower W Side, M/26
4:30p 6400 S Lowe, Englewood, M/18
6:15p 10700 S Edbrooke, Roseland, M/20

7:00p 11900 S Lafayette, West Pullman, F/40
9:00p 9300 S St Lawrence, Roseland, M/18
9:40p 6800 S Ashland, Englewood, F/19
9:40p 6800 S Ashland, Englewood, M/21
9:45p 3000 W Lexington, Garfield Park, F/46
10:25p 1600 N Monitor, Austin, F27
11:05p 4400 W Jackson, Garfield Park, F/40
11:05p 4400 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/26
Saturday 7/23
12:15a 1100 S Richmond, North Lawndale, M/48
12:20a 10100 S Lowe, Washington Heights, M/22
12:25a 6400 W Belmont, Dunning, M/38
12:25a 7600 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/35
2:00a 6500 S Ashland, Englewood, M/29
3:30a 1700 W 21st, Lower W Side, M/23
3:30a 1700 W 21st, Lower W Side, M/39
4:50a 1100 S Sacramento, North Lawndale, F/30
5:30a 3300 W 38th, Brighton Park, M/19
6:45a 1500 W Garfield, New City, M/31
12:50p 8000 S Laflin, Auburn Gresham, M/23
1:00p 1900 S Allport, Lower W Side, M/47
1:35p 10400 S Wentworth, Roseland, M/25
4:00p 7100 S Champlain, Grand Crossing, M/24
7:15p 4500 S Greenwood, Kenwood, F/23
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
10:20p 5400 W Augusta, Austin, M/33
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
Sunday 7/24
2:10a 5600 S Kostner, West Elsdon, M/20
4:00a 8700 S Burley, South Chicago, M/27
5:30a 2400 W Chicago, West Town, M/23
5:30a 2400 W Chicago, West Town, F/28
2:20p 1800 W 48th, New City, M/27
3:30p 3900 S Kedzie, Brighton Park M/19
4:20p 7800 S Hamilton, Auburn Gresham, M/22
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
8:00p 8500 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/20
10:35p 300 S Kildare, Garfield Park, M/21
10:45p 1300 S Sawyer, North Lawndale, M/20
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/17
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/17
11:55p 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, M/19
Monday Overtime
1:10a 6800 S Perry, Grand Crossing, F/14
1:35a 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/35
2:25a 11900 S Lafayette, West Pullman, M/44
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/32
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/32
2:25a 3500 S Indiana, Douglas, M/39
5:55a 1300 S Sawyer, North Lawndale, M/?

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Annual Heatwave

Posted on Wednesday, July 20th, 2016

Chicago's 1995 heatwaveAround this time every year, we usually partake in heatwave. While this time around, we’re not looking at a 1995 repeat, it will get toasty for the next few days.

“Scorching temperatures and muggy air will make the Chicago area feel like a giant sauna over the next several days, sending emergency responders into high alert while prompting pop-up community cooling stations, makeshift ice beds for zoo animals and postponement of popular outdoor events.

Temperatures Thursday are expected to reach the low to mid-90s and the high 90s on Friday, with humidity levels creating a heat index that feels more like 100 to 110 degrees, according to Kevin Donofrio, meteorologist with the National Weather Service.

The heat wave will continue through the weekend, with temperatures only a few digits lower during the day Saturday and Sunday and remaining in the mid-70s and even low 80s overnight, Donofrio said. Temperatures are expected to drop early next week.

The last time the Chicago area had a heat wave of this length was July 2013.”

Like we’ve stated in the past, extreme heat acts much like extreme cold – people tend to stay indoors and therefore (usually) out of the line of fire, but once the sun goes down, the hot sun is replaced by hot lead.

During the 2013 heatwave, 4 were killed and another 16 were shot and wounded. All but two occurred after sunset. Given this year’s 1990s-like pace, we’re don’t foresee a slow down, just less while the sun is out and more when it’s not.

Photo courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 15th, 2016

PokeZombies

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 55 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 10 killed, 34 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 45 wounded

Friday 7/15
12:15p 5400 W Iowa, Austin, M/22
3:00p 600 S Cicero, Austin, M/19
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/21
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/25
7:40p 6026 S Carpenter, Englewood, F/37
7:50p 4900 S Langley, Grand Boulevard, M/27
7:55p 6049 S Halsted, Englewood, M/30
8:00p 4035 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/21
10:50p 13300 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/29
Saturday 7/16
1:00a 1900 W 64th, Englewood, M/27
2:30a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/43
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/20
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/24
3:15a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/31
4:00a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, F/19
4:00a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, M/28
4:15a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/26
4:15a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/30
4:35a 300 W 52nd, Fuller Park, M/41
4:45a 8000 S Vincennes, Chatham, M/29
9:30a 4500 W West End, Garfield Park, M/18
9:30a 500 N Laramie, Austin, M/19
1:35p 6900 S Harper, South Shore, M/19
6:00p 4300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/17
6:00p 4300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, F/20
6:30p 4900 W Adams, Austin, M/24
8:45p 4900 W Augusta, Austin, M/19
8:45p 3800 W Roosevelt, North Lawndale, M/27
9:00p 4700 N Washington, Austin, M/40
10:30p 2000 S Albany, North Lawndale, M/45
11:00p 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/?
Sunday 7/17
12:50a 4700 S Ellis, Kenwood, M/15
12:50a 4700 S Ellis, Kenwood, M/16
1:30a 7600 S South Chicago, Avalon Park, M/17
1:30a 7900 S Ingleside, Chatham, M/37
2:00a 100 S Leamington, Austin, F/23
2:00a 100 S Leamington, Austin, M/23
2:10a 8700 S Morgan, Auburn Gresham, M/25
3:10a 2200 S Leavitt, Lower W Side, M/20
3:10a 2200 S Leavitt, Lower W Side, M/?
3:15a 2400 W 45th, Brighton Park, M/34
3:15a 2400 W 45th, Brighton Park, M/16
3:15a 100 E Garfield, Washington Park, M/22
3:15a 2100 W North, West Town, M/32
4:45a 4500 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/38
6:55a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/23
9:00a 4800 S Laflin, New City, M/28
10:10a 800 W 76th, Auburn Gresham, M/27
11:20a 4900 W West End, Austin, M/25
11:25a 5700 S Union, Englewood, M/18
12:00p 3900 W Van Buren, Garfield Park, M/26
2:30p 8100 S Normal, Chatham, M/21
3:15p 200 E 59th, Washington Park, M/23
3:15p 200 E 59th, Washington Park, M/24
6:30p 3500 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/17
7:55p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/20
7:55p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/20
8:25p 7400 S Kimbark, South Shore, M/21
8:35p 5300 W Harrison, Austin, M/41
11:05p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/33
11:05p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/37
11:50p 5000 W Jackson, Austin, M/18
11:50p 5000 W Jackson, Austin, M/33

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Gone Fishin’

Posted on Monday, July 11th, 2016

Gone Fishin'We’re taking off a few days which means minimal updates, unless the wheels come off. We’ll be back this weekend for the usual round-up of the weekend’s stupidity.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, July 8th, 2016

Another train wreck

Final Stupidity Tally: 4 killed, 40 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 9 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 29 wounded

Friday 7/8
4:00p 200 W 108th, Roseland, F/18
4:40p 1400 S Ridgeway, North Lawndale, M/28
5:20p 5100 S Racine, New City, M/23
9:00p 5200 W Van Buren, Austin, F/21
9:20p 1400 N Spaulding, Humboldt Park, M/48
9:35p 11200 S Indiana, Roseland, M/22
9:40p 5500 W North, Austin, M/17
10:30p 2300 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/41
10:50p 10700 S Langley, Pullman, M/33
10:50p 13100 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/30
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/59
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/17
11:40p 500 N Lavergne, Austin, M/32
Saturday 7/9
1:00a 1400 N Massasoit, Austin, F/22
1:50a 6600 S Racine, Englewood, M/19
1:50a 6600 S Racine, Englewood, M/19
2:55a 1500 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/22
2:55a 1500 N Milwaukee, West Town, M/26
3:10a 5400 S Winchester, New City, M/24
8:55a 1300 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/30
2:15p 500 E 88th, Chatham, M/21
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/17
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/18
2:25p 9300 S Stony Island, Calumet Heights, M/19
3:55p 5400 S Drexel, Hyde Park, M/32
3:55p 4500 S Fairfield, Brighton Park, M/26
7:40p 1900 N Mozart, Logan Square, M/22
8:15p 4112 S Ellis, Oakland, M/19
9:40p 5500 S Wood, Englewood, M/16
10:45p 1025 N Central Park, Humboldt Park, M/27
10:45p 6500 S Racine, Englewood, M/15
10:45p 6500 S Racine, Englewood, M/21
10:55p 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/17
10:55p 3500 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/20
Sunday 7/10
12:30a 10000 S Vernon, Roseland, M/23
1:15a 1800 E 87th, Avalon Park, M/18
2:30p 6100 S California, Chicago Lawn, M/18
3:20p 100 N Albany, Garfield Park, M/23
7:40p 4300 S Michigan, Grand Boulevard, M/17
9:45p 5500 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/21
9:45p 5500 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/35
10:15p 11500 S Perry, West Pullman, M/33
10:15p 2400 E 78th, South Shore, M/24
10:40p 13200 S Corliss, Riverdale, M/19

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Stats Massage

Posted on Thursday, July 7th, 2016

It moved. It’s a time honored tradition amongst politicians to “juke” the stats for one’s own benefit. The latest incarnation is to call an early end to the year’s bloodiest weekend and label it a success.

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Tuesday credited the potent but costly mix of police overtime, summer jobs and a preemptive gang takedown for Chicago’s least deadly July Fourth weekend in eight years.

[…]

This year’s July Fourth weekend reversed the trend, albeit briefly, with murders falling to nearly half the two-day 2015 weekend, when there were seven killings. That’s why Emanuel was patting the extraordinary number of moonlighting police officers on the back Tuesday instead of bemoaning the bloodshed on Chicago streets.”

Yeah, no. Following the same script as last year, the weekend started off on a somewhat quiet note only to have the wheels come off late into the evening on the 4th when 30 people ended up catching lead in just eight hours. Last year, a similar flurry (32 shot in nine hours) counted, this year, well, only those shot before midnight count.

“I think it moved.”

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Shitshow of the Year

Posted on Friday, July 1st, 2016

Marilyn Monroe

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 62 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 11 killed, 55 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 16 killed, 66 wounded
2013 weekend tally: 15 killed, 63 wounded*

Friday 7/1
5:25p 5700 S Bishop, Englewood, M/18
8:45p 800 E 62nd, Woodlawn, M/16
10:35p 5100 W Fulton, Austin, F/17
10:35p 7200 S Phillips, South Shore, M/33
11:15p 4300 W Cermak, North Lawndale, M/49
Saturday 7/2
12:50a 5200 W Quincy, Austin, M/39
1:30a 7500 S Eggleston, Grand Crossing, M/27
3:30a 700 N California, Humboldt Park, M/31
3:30a 700 N California, Humboldt Park, M/44
3:40a 2200 W 18th, Lower W Side, M/23
5:00a 9200 S Lowe, Washington Heights, M/33
2:00p 1200 W 71st, Englewood, M/29
3:00p 7200 S Spaulding, Chicago Lawn, M/18
3:25p 6400 S Cottage Grove, Woodlawn, F/54
4:15p 300 W Root, Fuller Park, M/36
7:35p 11800 S Oakley, Morgan Park, M/24
Sunday 7/3
2:20a 2500 S Spaulding, Little Village, M/38
3:00a 3600 W Grand, Humboldt Park, M/35
3:50a 9600 S Morgan, Washington Heights, F/37
4:50a 12300 S Halsted, West Pullman, F/?
6:05a 2800 W Polk, Garfield Park, M/16
1:55p 9200 S Throop, Washington Heights, M/18
10:00p 7246 S Lowe, Englewood, M/16
10:00p 7246 S Lowe, Englewood, M/17
10:30p 4000 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/20
10:45p 55 W Cermak, Near South Side, M/15
10:45p 2212 S Lawndale, Little Village, M/?
10:50p 1800 S Trumbull, North Lawndale, F/42
11:45p 8800 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, M/37
11:50p 7100 S State, Grand Crossing, M/52
Independence Day
12:45a 2400 S Washtenaw, Little Village, M/30
1:20a 10700 S Champlain, Pullman, M/22
2:10a 8000 S Pulaski, Ashburn, M/23
4:10a 1800 N Mason, Austin, M/21
9:00a 200 W 108th, Roseland, M/34
12:15p 200 W 95th, Roseland, M/27
1:25p 9800 S Ingleside, Pullman, M/33
2:15p 1500 W Garfield, New City, M/17
7:15p 1700 N Mozart, West Town, M/32
8:50p 1800 W Erie, West Town, M/22
8:50p 7259 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/30
9:20p 5700 S May, Englewood, M/37
9:20p 5700 S May, Englewood, M/?
9:20p 6900 S Clyde, South Shore, M/?
11:00p 2000 S Western, Lower W Side, M/11
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/5
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/8
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, M/19
11:05p 5500 S Hermitage, Englewood, F/30
11:35p 10500 S Yates, South Deering, F/17
11:35p 10500 S Yates, South Deering, M/19
Tuesday Overtime
12:00a 7900 S State, Chatham, M/15
12:20a 6200 S Drexel, Woodlawn, M/26
12:40a 3900 S Archer, Brighton Park, M/23
1:00a 300 S Michigan, Loop, F/20
1:35a 11500 S Racine, West Pullman, F/26
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/34
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/31
1:35a 1100 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/39
2:15a 100 S Pulaski, Garfield Park, M/19
2:30a 6800 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, F/22
2:45a 1900 E 87th, Avalon Park, M/35
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, F/24
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, M/34
3:00a 3300 W Ohio, Humboldt Park, M/36
3:00a 1000 N Latrobe, Austin, M/38
3:05a 800 N Lavergne, Austin, M/?
3:05a 800 N Lavergne, Austin, F/30

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday
*One additional day

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Public Service Announcement

Posted on Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

Ass Launch As we gear up for the annual July 4th Weekend Shitshow, we’d like to remind readers that before telling your buddy, “hold my beer and watch this…”, fireworks (like many firearms) are illegal in Chicago.

“You’d never know it from the booms audible during all hours of the day and night, but fireworks are illegal in Chicago.

Anything that’s handheld, explodes or takes flight is off limits. That ban extends to sparklers, which are OK for use elsewhere in Illinois but not within the city.

Party poppers — those gun- or bottle-shaped spewers of confetti — are totally legal. So are smoke bombs, snakes, “fountain” sprays of sparks and those things that go “snap” when you throw them at the sidewalk.

Trick noisemakers — like “booby traps” and “auto burglar alarms” — also fall into the category of legit novelty fireworks. “Cigarette loads,” hidden inside cigarettes, may sound like an accident waiting to happen, but they’re also completely legal.”

That said, feel free to do whatever the hell you want because every single fireworks call that is dispatched is immediately “coded out” and ignored.

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Pride Weekend Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 24th, 2016

Idiots jumping on a cop car.

Final Stupidity Tally: 8 killed, 50 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 2 killed, 42 wounded

Friday 6/24
4:30p 5035 S Elizabeth, New City, M/25
6:50p 9100 S Emerald, Washington Heights, M/26
9:00p 4900 W Kamerling, Austin, M/30
9:00p 1048 N Harding, Humboldt Park, M/23
9:40p 2600 W Potomac, West Town, M/25
9:40p 6500 S Laflin, Englewood, M/20
10:00p 7700 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/26
10:00p 100 N Laporte, Austin, M/18
Saturday 6/25
12:25a 7600 S Harvard, Grand Crossing, M/23
12:35a 8100 S Green, Auburn Gresham, M/25
12:40a 700 S Spaulding, Garfield Park, M/16
12:40a 700 S Spaulding, Garfield Park, F/22
1:00a 6800 N Ridge, West Ridge, F/21
1:00a 6800 N Ridge, West Ridge, M/26
2:00a 5900 S Albany, Chicago Lawn, M/30
3:50a Uncooperative ER Walk-in, M/26
4:50a 4700 W Monroe, Austin, M/26
8:05a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/19
11:25a 5900 S Albany, Chicago Lawn, M/25
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, F/19
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, F/20
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, M/20
11:45a 1400 W 114th, Morgan Park, M/23
3:15p 3000 W Fulton, Garfield Park, M/21
3:15p 3000 W Fulton, Garfield Park, M/23
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/30
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/50
6:45p 700 W 66th, Englewood, M/67
7:15p 5827 S Maplewood, Gage Park, M/22

8:45p 10600 S Cottage Grove, Roseland, M/39
8:55p 5300 N Kenmore, Edgewater, M/42
9:45p 8622 S Marquette, South Chicago, M/39
11:00p 3400 W Ogden, North Lawndale, F/25
11:00p 2500 W Division, West Town, M/24
11:00p 2500 W Division, West Town, M/32
11:35p 9057 S Bishop, Washington Heights, M/18
Sunday 6/26
1:10a 3500 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/26
1:20a 2700 W Polk, Garfield Park, M/17
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, M/55
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/35
1:30a 700 N Ridgeway, Humboldt Park, F/19
2:00a 1800 S Blue Island, Lower W Side, M/29
3:15a 400 N Western, West Town, M/23
4:25a 7200 S South Chicago, Grand Crossing, M/30
4:40a 1400 W 71st, Englewood, M/19
5:00a 3500 W Walnut, Garfield Park, F/28
5:10a 900 N Massasoit, Austin, M/41
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/20
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/22
2:40p 1200 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/?
3:50p 2100 N Western, Logan Square, M/19
4:40p 200 W 107th, Roseland, M/16
6:40p 100 S Mayfield, Austin, M/53
8:50p 7000 S Kanst, Chicago Lawn, M/19
8:50p 7000 S Kanst, Chicago Lawn, M/24
(story)
11:00p 900 N Sacramento, Humboldt Park, M/20
Monday Overtime
12:45a 6300 S Maplewood, Chicago Lawn, M/19
5:20a 4100 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/32
Final Parade Stupidity Ticker

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
Photo credit: Crime in Wrigleyville + Boystown

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More Illegal’r

Posted on Tuesday, June 21st, 2016

HYSTERIA!If the day ends in a ‘y’ there’s an excellent chance that our 50 duly elected, semi-retarded [omitted] are looking to tax, fine, restrict and/or ban something. Today being a day that ends in a ‘y’, it’s a good a time as any to ban something that’s already banned, but may as well make it more banned:

Ald. Ray Lopez (15th) plans to introduce a resolution at the City Council meeting on Wednesday to address the issue of gun violence and the illegal use of automatic and semi-automatic weapons.

“These weapons exist for only one reason, to create mass carnage and human casualty,” Lopez said Tuesday at a press conference. “Forty-nine lives were taken in the Orlando shooting, but these rifles are also used in the city of Chicago. We are here to say enough is enough.”

[…]

The resolution also calls for exploring “all constitutionally available avenues” to end the violence caused by the use of automatic and semi-automatic weapons in the Back of the Yards community, Chicago and throughout the nation.

We’ll ignore the “automatic” nonsense and the fact these weapons are so rarely used here that we’re able to count the number of incidents using less than half the city’s alder[omitted]. Instead we’ll focus on section 8-20-075 of Chicago’s Municipal code relating to the “Possession of assault weapons” with an “assault weapon” being defined as anything that has mass and reflects light:

It shall be unlawful for a person to import, sell, manufacture, transfer, or possess an assault weapon.

And not to be out done by the above [omitted], Milly apparently doesn’t pay attention to the news nor visits this site:

Ald. Milly Santiago (31st) said stopping gun violence is a community effort to ensure that “what happened in Orlando doesn’t happen in Chicago,” and she calls upon parents to lead the way.

Milly, it has been happening here every day of every week of every year for the better part of a half century, only by [omitted] [omitted] [omitted] instead of [omitted] [omitted] [omitted]. Dumb [omitted].

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Father’s Day Weekend

Posted on Friday, June 17th, 2016

Al Bundy

Final Stupidity Tally: 13 killed, 46 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 7 killed, 32 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 6 killed, 24 wounded

Friday 6/17
3:10p 7910 S Wabash, Chatham, M/20
3:45p 5500 W North, Austin, M/22
5:15p 3100 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/17
5:35p 3100 W Douglas, North Lawndale, F/39
6:30p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/33
6:30p 4400 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/44
8:35p 1400 E 70th, South Shore, M/23
9:05p 6500 S Hamilton, Englewood, M/16
10:40p 2200 S Kirkland, North Lawndale, M/22

Saturday 6/18
1:30a 3900 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/19
1:30a 3900 W Madison, Garfield Park, M/?
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/34
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/30
3:40a 1300 W Hastings, Near West Side, M/29
4:40a 3400 N Lowell, Irving Park, M/?
5:30a 3200 N Lake Shore, Lake View, M/27
6:30a 4800 W Monroe, Austin, M/23
8:35a 4300 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/28
9:50a 1400 E 54th, Hyde Park, F/65 (story)
11:25a 700 S Central Park, Garfield Park, M/20
2:00p 3600 W Thomas, Humboldt Park, M/18
3:00p 3300 W Flournoy, Garfield Park, M/17
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/19
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/20
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/31
4:30p 2900 E 79th, South Shore, M/?
6:05p 7300 S Champlain, Grand Crossing, M/23
7:30p 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/15
7:30p 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/17
8:20p 7600 S Eggleston, Grand Crossing, M/33
10:15p 8710 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/22
10:15p 8710 S Sangamon, Auburn Gresham, M/30
11:00p 1100 N Rockwell, West Town, M/28
11:00p 2700 W Haddon, West Town, M/29
11:45p 200 S Lavergne, Austin, M/15
11:45p 700 E 131st, Riverdale, F/58
Father’s Day
1:00a ER Walk-in, M/24
1:00a ER Walk-in, M/29
1:10a 2700 W Augusta, West Town, F/23
2:00a 5200 N Kimball, North Park, M/19
2:00a 5200 N Kimball, North Park, M/28
2:20a 900 E 45th, Kenwood, M/37
3:00a Boystown Mayhem
3:10a 3500 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M/29
3:20a 7900 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/19
4:25a 5400 S Albany, Gage Park, M/40
1:30p 1700 W 46th, New City, M/22
6:15p 6100 S Kimbark, Woodlawn, M/3
6:50p 6400 S Lowe, Englewood, M/21
9:05p 1600 N Washtenaw, West Town, M/21
10:30p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/19
10:30p 5800 S Wabash Ave, Washington Park, M/25
10:35p 600 S Lake Shore, Loop, M/21
11:30p 6700 S Green, Englewood, M/17
11:30p 7200 S May, Englewood, M/25
Monday Overtime
12:45a 1500 W 69th, Englewood, M/29
1:30a 7300 S University, Grand Crossing, M/22

2:00a 1200 W 48th, New City, M/23
3:40a 700 S Kildare, Garfield Park, M/33
4:30a 4300 S Lake Shore, Kenwood, M/24

Key:
shooting
homicide
police involved
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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“For the Children” Update

Posted on Wednesday, June 15th, 2016

Warning Revenue CameraFor those of you not paying attention, the city has been having some personal finance issues of late. In order to help shore up the finances, red light cameras were deployed as a way to illegally milk the citizenry and enrich insiders promote safe driving habits and for the children, of course.

Back in February, a judge ruled that many of the tickets were BS and refunds were to be paid out. Today, like all good civil servants who are entitled to your money, they prefer to ignore and obfuscate instead of comply with a silly judgement:

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s administration was accused Wednesday of stonewalling discovery in a high-stakes lawsuit with the potential to force cash-strapped Chicago to refund $200 million in fines and late fees paid by motorists denied due process after receiving red-light camera and speed camera tickets.

Attorney Jacie Zolna said City Hall is trying to “delay the inevitable” by refusing to make a “corporate representative” available for a deposition in the high-stakes case.

The city has further refused to turn over “basic” information about how many red-light and speed camera tickets have been issued; how much money the city has collected from those citations; and how much of it is subject to being refunded after motorists were denied their constitutional right to due process, Zolna said.”

Another fraud is about to run its course and the taxpayer will once again be on the hook to make up for another failed revenue slight of hand.

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Goin’ Stompin’

Posted on Tuesday, June 14th, 2016

Police probe apparent head stomping by officer after video emerges:

“Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson asked Monday for an investigation into the actions of two officers after a video showed one officer struggling with a man and the other telling bystanders to back off, then appearing to stomp the struggling man in the head.

The video, showing an arrest that took place in the 3900 block of West Grenshaw Street, was posted on Facebook Monday afternoon, apparently soon after the incident. By about 10 p.m., the video posted by someone using the name Terrance Hustlehard had been viewed more than 300,000 times and had been shared about 14,000 times.

Police News Affairs disclosed the investigation but did not provide details of the arrest. A police source said the two officers who are most prominent in the video were taken to Rush University Medical Center for treatment following the incident, one with a bite injury to a finger and choking injuries, the other with a bite to the arm.”

What happened prior to tape being rolled? We’ll assume that video of that doesn’t exist.

UPDATE:

“After careful consideration and reviewing the video footage, Superintendent (Eddie) Johnson has decided to relieve one of the officers involved in the incident that occurred on the 3900 block of West Grenshaw of his police powers while IPRA investigates the case,” police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said in a statement.

Stay fetal.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 10th, 2016

Forklift Fail

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 39 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 3 killed, 33 wounded

Friday 6/10
12:55p 2400 S St. Louis, Little Village, M/?
2:45p 6700 S Jeffery, South Shore, M/73
4:50p 5600 S Bishop, Englewood, M/17
4:50p 5600 S Bishop, Englewood, M/20
8:05p 6700 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, F/3
8:05p 6700 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, F/34
8:10p 3000 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/25
8:45p 5500 S Wells, Englewood, M/26
8:45p 5500 S Wells, Englewood, M/17
8:50p 5100 N Simonds, Uptown, M/24
9:30p 8904 S Brandon, South Chicago, M/27
10:10p 1725 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, M/20
10:40p 1725 S Wolcott, Lower W Side, M/22
10:45p 30 N Latrobe, Austin, M/22
10:50p 300 N Central, Austin, F/51
11:40p 11300 S Normal, Roseland, M/24
Saturday 6/11
12:15a 1600 W Maypole, Near West Side, M/23
1:30a 8800 S Princeton, Roseland, M/17
6:00p 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/15
6:00p 4700 S Prairie, Grand Boulevard, M/24
8:10p 9800 S Carpenter, Washington Heights, M/20
10:00p 3651 N Recreation, Lake View, M/19
10:25p 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/17
10:25p 5200 S Sangamon, New City, M/19
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/15
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/21
11:20p 100 W 121st, West Pullman, M/25
11:45p 3600 S Indiana, Douglas, M/22
11:45p 3600 S Indiana, Douglas, M/23
Sunday 6/12
1:00a 9000 S Marshfield, Washington Heights, M/42
1:00a 9000 S Marshfield, Washington Heights, M/?

1:45a 2300 S Sacramento, Little Village, M/18
1:55a 6300 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/16
1:55a 6300 S Artesian, Chicago Lawn, M/20
3:00a 100 N Laporte, Austin, M/25
4:10a 2700 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, F/30
4:10a 2700 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/30
5:30a 6100 S Halsted, Englewood, M/40
8:35a 1100 W 72nd, Englewood, M/32
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/28
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/29
11:55a 8200 S Woodlawn, Avalon Park, M/67
3:00p 4200 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/17
3:00p 4200 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/21
11:00p 1800 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/28
Monday Overtime
3:05a 3000 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/22

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Too Funny

Posted on Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

Good FellasAn instant classic:

Moments after Dominiq Greer held a news conference Wednesday to announce a lawsuit seeking $15 million from the city — alleging a Chicago Police officer wrongfully shot him seven times — he was arrested on a murder warrant as he waited for a ride.

“I had no clue,” said his lawyer Eugene Hollander, who hosted the 10 a.m. conference at his Loop office. “It’s definitely a surprise to me. He was going to grab an Uber back home and as he was waiting a squad car pulled up.”

Greer, a convicted felon, was arrested on a warrant for the May 27 shooting death of 22-year-old Kevin Larry, but he hasn’t been charged formally. The warrant was issued May 29.

“We became aware he was holding a press conference for a civil suit against the police department, and the police department doesn’t wait to apprehend people accused of murder,” said Anthony Guglielmi, chief spokesman for the department.

Whoops!

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Heatwave?

Posted on Tuesday, June 7th, 2016

Homer in a kiddie poolSupposedly, it’s going to get hot this weekend which likely means we’ll be in for an extra helping of stupidity.

“A heat wave could make it feel as hot as 100 degrees in the city this weekend — and it might even break some records.

The weekend will be hot, sunny and humid, with Friday hitting 90 degrees — but it’ll feel even hotter, said AccuWeather meteorologist Tom Kines. Saturday could feel as hot as 100 degrees.

Saturday’s record high temperature is 97 degrees, and there’s a chance we could break that this weekend, Kines said.

“It’s gonna be toasty out there,” Kines said. “It’s gonna take a few days to get here, but once it does it’s definitely gonna feel like summer.””

Extreme heat acts much like extreme cold – people tend to stay indoors and therefore (usually) out of the line of fire. However, once the sun goes down and if we’re looking at overnight lows around 70°+ with some humidity, the porches, sidewalks and corners will be packed with potential lead catchers with ample delivery options available.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, June 3rd, 2016

Nothing to See Here Folks... Naked GunUnless a CPD officer dons a Confederate flag cape and shoots a transvestite gorilla attempting to use the ladies room at Lincoln Park Zoo, there’s nothing to see here.

Final Stupidity Tally: 10 killed, 31 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 33 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 30 wounded

Friday 6/3
6:40p 7700 S Trumbull, Ashburn, M/16
6:50p 2900 W Armitage, Logan Square, M/20
6:50p 2900 W Armitage, Logan Square, M/21
9:40p I55 & King Dr, Near South Side, M/?
9:40p I55 & King Dr, Near South Side, M/?
9:40p 300 E Kensington, West Pullman, M/19
9:50p 13300 S Torrence, Hegewisch, M/40
9:50p 13300 S Torrence, Hegewisch, M/44
10:05p 4700 N Virgina, Lincoln Square, M/35
11:00p 1100 W 72nd, Englewood, F/20
11:40p 4609 W Erie, Austin, M/49
Saturday 6/4
12:05a 2051 W 71st, Englewood, M/21
12:15a 4100 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, F/18
12:15a 4100 W Potomac, Humboldt Park, M/20
1:30a 100 N Mason, Austin, M/27
2:05a 500 N Springfield, Humboldt Park, M/20
2:50a 200 N Laramie, Austin, M/35
2:55a 12700 S Halsted, West Pullman, M/31
3:00a 700 W Marquette, Englewood, M/14
3:15a 900 W 96th, Washington Heights, M/?
3:55a 6400 S Keeler, West Lawn, F/34
5:20a 6300 S Honore, Englewood, M/32
12:00p 3200 W 83rd, Ashburn, M/2mo
(story)
3:45p 1600 E 70th, South Shore, M/17
3:45p 1600 E 70th, South Shore, M/18
6:00p 8600 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/21
11:25p 4700 S Ashland, New City, M/15
Sunday 6/5
12:50a 7600 S Drexel, Grand Crossing, M/?
12:50a 4400 S Marshfield, New City, M/15
2:00a 3500 S Vincennes, Douglas, M/25
3:00a 600 W 28th, Bridgeport, M/36
6:05a 3200 N Pulaski, Avondale, M/27
9:45a 2500 S Francisco, Little Village, F/34
3:00p 4400 S Wentworth, Fuller Park, M/23
6:20p 900 N Lamon, Austin, M/22
9:30p 11200 S Perry, Roseland, F/42
10:15p 3100 W North, Humboldt Park, M/21
11:00p Uptown Stabbing Victim in Critical Condition
11:30p 8100 S Havard, Chatham, M/43
Monday Overtime
1:40a 6600 S Hoyne, Englewood, M/25
4:00a 2400 S Michigan, Near South Side, M/27
4:00a 2400 S Michigan, Near South Side, F/23

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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May Wrap-up

Posted on Thursday, June 2nd, 2016

CarnacIn the past, we’ve stated that May acts like a warm-up act to summer’s headliner. Now the crowd isn’t just warmed up, they’re a ranging dumpster fire. 65 67 homicides for the month was the most seen by a May since the late 1990s and a 4-handle on the total shot metric has never been witnessed in this site’s short history.

Final Stupidity Tally: 67 killed, 340 wounded
May 2015: 50 dead, 281 wounded
May 2014: 47 dead, 230 wounded

A breakdown of the month’s idiocy shows:

  • 62 shot & killed
  • 4 stabbed
  • 1 felony murder
  • 7 ongoing “death investigations”
  • 1 police-involved shootings
  • 48 in serious or critical condition
  • 59 males killed vs 7 females
  • 72 teenagers shot, 9 killed
  • 17 grazed
  • 2 selfies
  • 21 #ShotInTheAss

Looking ahead, June usually feeds off the stupidity of May only without the benefit of a holiday weekend. Last year June posted 51 homicides with an additional 244 shot and wounded. Given the way this year has been going, we’ll predict a total of 60 homicides plus another 390 shot and wounded.

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Felony Murder

Posted on Wednesday, June 1st, 2016

Security camera photo At the time of posting, May has tallied 65 homicides, which is the most since 1998 posted the same amount. However, an incident over the weekend the total may increase by one:

A group of young men turned themselves in to police late Tuesday after their relatives spotted them in surveillance video of a group that allegedly chased a woman to her death on Lake Shore Drive over the weekend.

Community activist Andrew Holmes said at least three young men, believed to be in their late teens and early 20s, were spotted in flyers and on television by their mothers and relatives, who “did the right thing” and made sure they went to police to give their side of the story.

Fox Chicago reports that five young men were in custody early Wednesday.

Depending on the outcome of the investigation, these young lads may find themselves charged with murder because of an obscure Illinois law known as felony murder – persons may be held accountable for any foreseeable deaths that occur during the commission or attempted commission of a felony.

Translation – if a group of jagoffs attempts to harass and/or rob others and the victims are killed in the process of fleeing said jagoffs, they’ll be charged with murder and become eligible for a full ride prison scholarship.

UPDATE: As expected: Murder charges filed in death of woman chased onto Lake Shore Drive

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Memorial Day Weekend

Posted on Friday, May 27th, 2016

Chicago Memorial Day ParadeThis weekend marks the start of the annual Summer Stupidity & Shooting Season. Between now and Labor Day weekend, we’ll expect to see around 225 homicides and an additional 1,000 shot and wounded.

Final Stupidity Tally: 7 killed, 68 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 8 killed, 24 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 9 killed, 27 wounded

Friday 5/27
12:50p 4000 S Archer, Brighton Park, M/52
1:35p 5700 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/16
2:00p 300 S Hamlin, Garfield Park, M/20
2:15p 4600 N Racine, Uptown, M/27
2:35p 6700 S Loomis, Englewood, M/39
2:35p 6700 S Loomis, Englewood, M/26
9:25p 1000 S Racine, Near West Side, M/18
11:00p 3700 W 75th, Ashburn, M/25
Saturday 5/28
1:10a 9900 S Paxton, South Deering, M/50
1:10a 9900 S Paxton, South Deering, F/53
1:30a 2400 N Lake Shore, Lincoln Park, F/15
1:30a 2400 N Lake Shore, Lincoln Park, M/28
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/23
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/26
1:45a 3300 W Walnut, Garfield Park, M/27
2:35a 1200 S Independence, North Lawndale, M/17
2:55a 4300 N Kimball, Irving Park, M/21
3:15a 4600 S Honroe, New City, M/25
4:00a 4600 W Jackson, Austin, M/26
4:35a 4300 W West End, Garfield Park, M/24
5:15a 6300 W Montrose, Portage Park, M/23
3:45p 3900 W Erie, Humboldt Park, M/46
3:45p 3900 W Erie, Humboldt Park, M/46
4:20p 1400 W 99th, Washington Heights, M/24
5:20p 200 W Root, Fuller Park, M/27 (story)
7:45p 8300 S Dante, Avalon Park, M/19
8:05p 3900 W Lexington, Garfield Park, F/?
8:40p 1600 W 48th, New City, M/22
8:40p 1600 W 48th, New City, M/32
9:00p 5100 W Chicago, Austin, M/23
10:15p 1500 S Ridgeway, North Lawndale, M/17
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, F/48
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, M/17
10:15p 6800 S Damen, Englewood, M/23
11:55p 800 S Independence, Garfield Park, M/28
11:55p 800 S Independence, Garfield Park, M/29
Sunday 5/29
12:35a I90/94 & 35th St, Armour Square, F/20
12:35a I90/94 & 35th St, Armour Square, F/23
1:05a 700 N Kedzie, Humboldt Park, M/21
1:05a 700 N Kedzie, Humboldt Park, M/22
1:40a Flee Robbery, Get Killed Anyway (latest)
2:00a 900 N Cambridge, Near North Side, M/27
3:45a 9700 S Vincennes, Washington Heights, M/23
4:40a 3900 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, F/26
4:45a 5000 W West End, Austin, M/27
5:15a 300 W 108th, Roseland, M/17
12:00p 8700 S Ashland, Auburn Gresham, M/20
12:35p 11500 S Peoria, West Pullman, M/24
4:05p 1200 W 85th, Auburn Gresham, M/23
5:55p 11500 S Wentworth, West Pullman, M/29
10:45p 3800 S Lake Park, Oakland, M/25
11:00p 2100 S Harding, North Lawndale, M/35
11:00p 2100 S Harding, North Lawndale, M/58
11:30p 5900 S Princeton, Englewood, M/21
Memorial Day
12:30a 956 N Massasoit, Austin, M/35
1:00a 400 E 74th, Grand Crossing, M/28
1:30a 1300 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/18
1:30a 1300 N Pulaski, Humboldt Park, M/18
6:15a 6400 S King, Grand Crossing, M/19
10:35a 4800 W Monroe, Austin, M/17
10:45a 3800 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/21
10:45a 3800 W Gladys, Garfield Park, M/28
3:55p 6700 S Sangamon, Englewood, M/15
4:55p 8700 S Escanaba, South Chicago, M/16
5:25p 3600 W 30th, Little Village, M/17
9:35p 1500 E 73rd, South Shore, M/23
10:55p 6400 N Rockwell, West Ridge, M/39
11:00p 5100 S Calumet, Washington Park, M/44

Tuesday Overtime
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, F/18
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, F/19
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/30
12:20a 3300 W Huron, Humboldt Park, M/52
12:50a 2600 E 73rd, South Shore, F/17
12:50a 2600 E 73rd, South Shore, M/21
1:45a 10200 S LaSalle, Roseland, M/30

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday

Please note: The previous two Memorial Day weekends fell a week earlier than this year. Adjust your year-over-year comparisons as needed.
2015 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 21 wounded

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Help Wanted

Posted on Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

Help WantedFor whatever reason, holiday weekends, especially those of the Memorial, 4th and Labor variety, partake in their own special brand of stupid. Since an excessive amount of stupidity is a given, the CPD has hung out the stay fetal help wanted sign:

“As the city enters one of the most notoriously violent weekends of the year, the Chicago Police Department is staffing up.

The city made national news in 2012 when ten people were killed and at least 43 people were wounded over Memorial Day weekend and last year was even worse with 12 people killed and at least 41 wounded over three days.

In a memo to officers, Bureau of Patrol Chief Fred Waller announced the “Memorial Day Overtime Initiative,” seeking volunteers to work May 27, 29, 29 and 30.”

While some “volunteers” may look forward to making a little extra coin to babysit jagoffs engaging in poor life choices, taxpayers on the other will no doubt be thrilled to be once again stuck with the overtime and medical tabs.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, May 20th, 2016

Batman bitch slap The last two years saw summer kick off this very weekend with the annual Memorial Day Shitshow. This year, we get another week of practice in before the summer shooting season officially begins on the 27th.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 40 wounded
2015 Memorial Day* tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day* tally: 8 killed, 21 wounded

Friday 5/20
3:50p 3500 S State, Douglas, F/49 (story)
3:50p 3500 S State, Douglas, M/19
7:10p 5100 W Division, Austin, M/18
8:00p 12300 S Wentworth, West Pullman, M/22
9:40p 300 S Cicero, Austin, M/23
9:40p 300 S Cicero, Austin, F/24
Saturday 5/21
12:20a 4300 S State, Grand Boulevard, M/23
12:20a 100 W Garfield, Washington Park, M/30
12:30a 2400 N Laramie, Belmont Cragin, M/23
2:00a 2700 W North, West Town, M/24
3:00a 7900 S Ellis, Chatham, M/35
6:55a 900 N Homan, Humboldt Park, M/33
4:35p 3600 W 13th, North Lawndale, M/21
6:10p 6600 S Champlain, Woodlawn, F/28
6:15p 1000 W 92nd, Washington Heights, M/20
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/18
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/19
7:00p 4300 W Hirsch, Humboldt Park, M/29
7:30p 11500 S Stewart, West Pullman, M/19
7:40p 1600 W 89th, Auburn Gresham, F/26
7:40p 7000 S Carpenter, Englewood, M/26
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/21
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/27
8:40p 6300 S Normal, Englewood, M/31
9:55p 4600 S Cottage Grove, Grand Boulevard, M/17
9:55p 4600 S Cottage Grove, Grand Boulevard, M/18
11:50p 520 S Cicero, Austin, M/27
Sunday 5/22
2:40a 3900 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/27
2:40a 3900 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, F/37
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/20
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/35
2:45a 5100 W Madison, Austin, M/36
4:30a 4100 W Adams, Garfield Park, F/25
6:30a 3100 W Division, West Town, M/23
10:00a 3000 W 59th, Gage Park, M/17
10:00a 3600 W Lexington, Garfield Park, M/26
4:00p 6900 S Wabash, Grand Crossing, M/20
9:30p 5700 W Bloomingdale, Austin, M/17
10:00p 7100 S Washtenaw, Chicago Lawn, M/25
10:45p 6900 S Winchester,Englewood, F/24
11:25p 1600 S Komensky, North Lawndale, M/36
Monday Overtime
1:30a 2300 S Leavitt, Lower West Side, M/20
1:30a 2300 S Leavitt, Lower West Side, F/30
2:00a 6400 N Magnolia, Rogers Park, F/50
2:35a 7800 S Kingston, South Shore, M/35

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday
*2014/15 Memorial Day = 12p Friday – 6a Tuesday

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Fight, Fight, Fight!

Posted on Tuesday, May 17th, 2016

Numerous questionable life choices caught on video.

“A new video capturing a massive fight at a busy Near West Side intersection is going viral.

The video of the fight at West Jackson Boulevard and South Western Avenue Monday afternoon has been shared on Facebook more than 1,800 times. The video was posted with the caption “The Jungle W[e]nt Up.”

In the minute-long video, dozens of people, mostly young men, are captured fighting, throwing punches in the street and disrupting traffic near Golden Fish & Chicken. At one point, the mob appears to target one young man who is knocked to the ground, punching him and kicking him.

As cars zoom around the fight, a lone Chicago Police SUV can be seen stopped at the middle of the intersection. A police officer standing outside the SUV does not appear to intervene.”

No one in their right mind would intervene in a large fight alone. If, by chance, the officer did get involved, it would likely have been all his or her fault anyway. Therefore, staying fetal was the right move.

Side note: why is it not possible to shoot these videos horizontally? Every time…

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, May 13th, 2016

Bulletproof shield test

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 17 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 2 killed, 47 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 7 killed, 24 wounded

Friday Pre-game
11:55a 5400 S Indiana, Washington Park, M/47
Friday the 13th
4:00p 7600 S Ingleside, Grand Crossing, M/26
6:20p 6800 S Ashland, Englewood, F/27
6:55p 1500 W 19th, Lower West Side, M/29
8:40p 5700 S Morgan, Englewood, F/53
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
11:45p 1200 W Grenshaw, Near West Side, M/21
11:45p 1200 W Grenshaw, Near West Side, M/21
Saturday 5/14
10:45a 2100 W 19th, Lower West Side, M/16
3:40p 5300 W Harrison, Austin, M/20
3:45p 800 N Waller, Austin, M/32

6:15p 5900 W Division, Austin, M/50
6:20p 100 S Cicero, Austin, F/44
7:30p 1725 N Artesian, West Town, M/23
7:30p 1725 N Artesian, West Town, M/30
7:30p 6500 S King, Grand Crossing, F/15 (story)
8:30p 3100 W Warren, Garfield Park, M/15
8:30p 3100 W Warren, Garfield Park, M/18
Sunday 5/15
12:55a, Somewhere in Chicago, M/33
4:00a I90/Armitage, Logan Square, M/43
4:00a I90/Armitage, Logan Square, F/36 (update)
5:00a 2500 S Whipple, Little Village, M/23
7:00a 5000 W Washington, Austin, M/35
2:35p 100 N Lorel, Austin, M/35

6:40p 7900 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, F/31
9:10p 1520 S Karlov, North Lawndale, M/17
10:55p 2300 N Monitor, Belmont Cragin, M/15
Monday Overtime
12:35a 4700 W Fullerton, Belmont Cragin, M/22
5:45a 4800 S Throop, New City, M/?

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Increase in the Increase

Posted on Thursday, May 12th, 2016

BlackboardIt was only a week and a half ago when we were told that the “murder surge” was slowing, or in other words, there was a decrease in the increase (which is still an increase). It would now seem that the surge is back on and we’re seeing an increase in the increase.

Four people were killed and at least 14 people have been wounded in Chicago since early Wednesday afternoon, including a triple fatal shooting in Englewood and five people shot in the evening in the Park Manor neighborhood, officials said.

[…]

A woman and four men were wounded in a shooting about 8 p.m. in the 7100 block of South State Street, according to police.

[…]

Earlier, three people were wounded in an attack about 12:45 p.m. in the 6900 block of South Artesian Avenue in the Lithuanian Plaza neighborhood, according to Hudson.

And so on, and so on. A thus far 130% YoY increase in homicides has us on track for a mid-to-upper 60s May. So much for that decrease in the increase.

Side note: Comments will be turned off for the time being while we explore replacements. The number of comments has become unmanageable for our current system to manage and display effectively.

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Unacceptable (Again)

Posted on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

completely unacceptableBack in the day, “crime is down” was the favorite utterance of many. Now with the late 90s violence levels back in fashion, “unacceptable” is the phrase of choice. First it was Rahm two months back, now it’s the new Super:

“Confronted with the bloodiest weekend in Chicago since being named police superintendent six weeks ago, Eddie Johnson on Monday called the gun violence “completely unacceptable” and said the dozens of shootings highlight “the uphill battle” confronting police.

[…]

At an unrelated news conference Monday on the city’s Southwest Side, Johnson brought up the Mother’s Day weekend violence himself in his prepared remarks. He focused his remarks on how much of the bloodshed is being driven by about 1,300 individuals on the Police Department’s “strategic subject list” — those believed to be most prone to violence as a victim or offender.

About 78 percent of the homicide victims and about 84 percent of the nonfatal shooting victims this weekend were on the list, he said.”

There is no point in rewording what we said two months ago – “The unacceptable will become the accepted – crime will rise, taxes will go up, the same losers will get elected promising the same crap all while maladjusted jagoffs acceptingly terrorize neighborhoods.”

Look for the next “unacceptable” around Memorial Day and most definitely after the annual July 4th shitshow leaves 80-100 ventilated.

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Mother’s Day Weekend

Posted on Friday, May 6th, 2016

Peg Bundy

Final Stupidity Tally: 9 killed, 43 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 3 killed, 25 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 19 wounded

Friday 5/6
2:45p 3900 W Wabansia, Humboldt Park, M/30
8:15p 7600 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/29
8:15p 7600 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/26
8:15p 7600 S Maryland, Grand Crossing, M/40
8:40p 7600 S Euclid, South Shore, M/20
10:00p 2200 S Kirkland, North Lawndale, M/22
10:10p 10709 S Champlain, Pullman, M/25
10:55p 5500 S Russell, Washington Park, M/?
11:00p 8000 S Union, Auburn Gresham, M/23
11:00p 5100 S King, Washington Park, M/26
11:00p 5100 S King, Washington Park, M/30
11:40p 700 W 61st, Englewood, F/16
Saturday 5/7
12:25a 5200 W Congress, Austin, M/15
12:25a 5200 W Congress, Austin, M/24
1:20a 6900 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, M/25
1:20a 6900 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, M/29
1:40a 7400 S Union, Englewood, M/30
2:00a 6300 S Ashland, Englewood, M/18
2:30a 2000 S Wolcott, Lower West Side, M/20
2:35a 6400 S King, Grand Crossing, M/25
3:00a 500 N Marshfield, West Town, M/25
3:00a 6700 S Claremont, Chicago Lawn, M/38
3:05a 1200 N Mason, Austin, F/24
3:25a 6100 S St Lawrence, Woodlawn, M/39
3:30a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/23
3:30a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/25
4:00a 1300 W Roosevelt, Near West Side, M/25
12:00p 400 W 79th, Grand Crossing, M/16
1:00p 10200 S Michigan, Roseland, F/16
1:00p 10200 S Michigan, Roseland, M/20
5:40p 3300 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/16
7:50p 2350 S Kirkland, North Lawndale, M/38
8:00p 5200 S Kolin, Archer Heights, M/58
9:10p 1333 S Lawndale, North Lawndale, M/16
10:55p 400 S Cicero, Austin, M/26
11:20p 1300 S Homan, North Lawndale, M/26
Mother’s Day
12:15a 4100 W North, Humboldt Park, M/27
12:35a 3600 W Cermak, North Lawndale, F/35
12:45a 6100 N Oakley, West Ridge, M/20
1:15a 4100 S Sacramento, Brighton Park, F/27
1:30a 3800 W Adams, Garfield Park, M/21
2:55a 4400 S California, Brighton Park, M/25
3:15a 4400 W Washington, Garfield Park, M/21
3:55a 5400 W Thomas, Austin, M/27
5:10a 5000 N Lake Shore, Uptown, M/35
5:30a 700 W 59th, Englewood, M/30
8:55a 7658 S Prairie, Grand Crossing, M/21
12:50p 5000 W Erie, Austin, M/17
1:00p 200 S Karlov, Garfield Park, F/19
1:00p 200 S Karlov, Garfield Park, M/21
3:20p 3400 W Arthington Garfield Park M/16

Monday Overtime
12:30a 4500 S Drexel, Kenwood, M/51

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Simple Arithmetic

Posted on Thursday, May 5th, 2016

HomerAny business whose balance sheet showed massive losses and produced a product that failed 30-40% of the time would be out of business quickly. On the other hand, if you’re a bloated, entrenched government agency that sort of mix would be considered essential and worthy of additional taxpayer dollars.

“As it gears up for a possible strike, the Chicago Teachers Union has some new ideas about how to help Chicago Public Schools raise the roughly $500 million needed to balance its books this school year and keep all of CTU members at work without any cutbacks.

Let’s just say that anyone who buys gasoline, owns commercial property, rides on Uber or Lyft, stays in a hotel or operates a business that employs people will not be happy.

Heading the list is $94 million a year from reinstating—at a quadrupled rate—the city’s former head tax, which Mayor Rahm Emanuel finally finished repealing. CTU did not give a monthly number per employee, and failed to immediately return phone calls seeking details. Emanuel said at the time that tax was driving employers out of town.

Another $98 million a year would come from tripling the city’s tax on gasoline to 15 cents a gallon. “Due to falling gas prices over the past few years, an additional 10 cents may be imposed without consumers feeling as much pain as other taxes,” the union said.”

Tax, tax, tax. The CTfU has and will continue to pretend that the laws of mathematics and economics don’t apply to them. (Explains the shitty test scores.) In the end, promises that can’t be kept, won’t be kept.

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Bye George!

Posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

Lando waving goodbyeThis idea of erecting the Jar Jar Binks Memorial Action Figure Museum and Ewok Massage Parlor on prime lake front property never smelled right. Granted, Ewoks likely never smell right, but from $1 land deals to shady financing to pile of salt/circus tent designs, we’re somewhat surprised this overpriced boondoggle is (hopefully) going the way of the Olympic bid.

The fate of the Lucas Museum project in Chicago was thrown into major doubt Tuesday after Friends of the Parks declared its opposition to any lakefront site, prompting the Lucas camp to announce that it was “seriously pursuing locations outside of Chicago.”

Juanita Irizarry, the parks group’s executive director, acknowledged that the city’s alternative proposal for a museum on the McCormick Place lakefront site had led to a split within her group. But Friends of the Parks, which has sued to block the project, was taking a firm stand, she said: “We maintain there should not be development on the lakefront.”

That position prompted Mellody Hobson, a Chicago financial executive and wife of “Star Wars” creator George Lucas, to issue a sharp statement complaining that “this process has been co-opted and hijacked by a small special interest group.”

As opposed to your own small special interest group? Of course not. You see, this cult monument to mediocrity is for the children, of course:

Hobson said the museum would bring more than $2 billion in economic benefit to the city, thousands of jobs and education opportunities for children.

“As an African-American who has spent my entire life in this city I love, it saddens me that young black and brown children will be denied the chance to benefit from what this museum will offer,” she said.

Please. Young black and brown children already have access to some of the best museums in the world. Museums that showcase real things and ideas, not an adult’s toy collection.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, April 29th, 2016

Riding into the sunsetApril rides off into the sunset making way for what is typically one of the stupider months of the year, May.

Final Stupidity Tally: 5 killed, 28 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 5 killed, 31 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 26 wounded

Friday 4/29
1:20p 3300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/15
1:20p 3300 W Jackson, Garfield Park, M/23
2:25p 5600 S May, Englewood, M/29
4:00p 5100 S Kolin, Archer Heights, F/15
4:15p 4800 S Winchester, New City, M/25
8:00p 6800 S Sangamon, Englewood, M/15
10:50p 4800 W Ohio, Austin, M/25
Saturday 4/30
12:10a 6800 S King, Grand Crossing, M/37
1:45a 3900 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/19
1:45a 3900 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/20
2:05a 2200 S Kolin, North Lawndale, M/30
4:35a 1800 S Central Park, North Lawndale, M/19

4:50a 1700 E 69th, South Shore, F/24
4:50a 1700 E 69th, South Shore, F/34
1:20p 100 W Garfield, Washington Heights, M/17
1:20p 100 W Garfield, Washington Heights, M/36
2:20p 6200 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/26
2:20p 6200 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/30
2:20p 6200 S Vernon, Woodlawn, M/31
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
8:00p 7000 S Vernon, Grand Crossing, M/40
9:15p 8901 S Cottage Grove, Chatham, M/14
Sunday 5/1
12:15a 4800 S Bishop, New City, M/35
3:00a 6300 S Hamilton, Englewood, M/22
3:00a 6300 S Hamilton, Englewood, M/32
3:45a 10700 S King, Roseland, M/25
3:45a 10700 S King, Roseland, F/25
4:20a 3200 N Laramie, Portage Park, M/24
6:10a 4900 W Superior, Austin, M/50
9:45a 4100 W Wilcox, Garfield Park, M/18
5:30p 200 N Homan, Garfield Park, F/27
7:05p 100 N Long, Austin, M/36
☂☁ Rain Delay ☁☂
9:40p 12100 S Wentworth, West Pullman, M/65
Monday Overtime
12:55a 1700 W Peterson, Edgewater, F/21

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Get Off My Lawn

Posted on Thursday, April 28th, 2016

Get Off My LawnIt has been said that ‘good fences make good neighbors’, unless your neighbor is shooting off fireworks for no good reason. In that case, apparently, it’s best to try and shoot your neighbor:

“A West Ridge man shot at a neighbor who asked him to stop setting off fireworks about 10 p.m. Sunday, prosecutors said.

The gunman, 25-year-old Giann Chiazim, then called police to confess he’d fired several shots toward a neighbor — but didn’t know if he hit the man, prosecutors said.

The neighbor got away.

But police arrested Chiazim and accomplice Luis Silva, 24, who now face felony charges. The pair appeared Tuesday in bond court, where prosecutors said Chiazim had a valid FOID card.”

That next block party is going to be awkward.

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Number 6

Posted on Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

Chicago Police BadgeWhile the politicians, media and their surrogates look to focus attention away from the ongoing tire fire illustrated on this page and towards cops ventilating “honor students”, another Chicago police officer caught a round:

“A Chicago police officer was shot in the shoulder as he and his partner chased three suspects down a street in the Little Village neighborhood Monday afternoon, authorities said.

The Ogden District officer, a nine-year veteran, was wounded around 4:15 p.m. in the 2300 block of South Trumbull Avenue, police said. The bullet went through his shoulder, according to a source. He was expected to be released Monday night from Stroger Hospital, according to Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson.”

This makes for six Chicago police officers to be shot in the line of duty so far this year. On the flip side, Chicago police have shot four.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, April 23rd, 2016

Ridgemont High Z28

Final Stupidity Tally: 6 killed, 41 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 3 killed, 23 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 9 killed, 39 wounded

Friday 4/22
1:00p 6900 S Paxton, South Shore, M/17 (selfie)
2:00p 1200 S Kedzie, North Lawndale, M/26
6:30p 7800 S Lafayette, Grand Crossing, M/42
11:00p 3100 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M/20 (selfie)
Saturday 4/23
12:55a 800 E 82nd, Chatham, M/20
1:15a 3200 W 16th, North Lawndale, M/22
1:15a 200 N Keeler, Garfield Park, M/23
1:55a 1800 W Grand, West Town, M/29
2:00a 1800 S Springfield, North Lawndale, M/17
3:00p 100 E 100th, Roseland, F/16
3:00p 100 E 100th, Roseland, M/22
3:15p 1300 W 84th, Auburn Gresham, M/22
4:20p Body found off Navy Pier
5:00p 800 N Avers, Humboldt Park, M/22
5:00p 800 N Avers, Humboldt Park, M/29
6:30p 6400 S Green, Englewood, M/16
7:00p 8800 S Exchange, South Chicago, M/17
9:05p 11400 S Stewart, Roseland, F/23
9:05p 11400 S Stewart, Roseland, M/24
9:05p 11400 S Stewart, Roseland, M/27
9:50p Bluesphobic Blackhawks Win!
10:00p 1 N Leamington, Austin, M/21
11:10p 4600 S Mozart, Brighton Park, M/24
11:40p 8300 S Wood, Auburn Gresham, M/22
Sunday 4/24
12:00a 600 N Christiana, Humboldt Park, M/33
12:25a 3200 W Douglas, North Lawndale, M/24
1:05a 3200 W Maypole, Garfield Park, M/30
1:50a 8700 S Honore, Auburn Gresham, M36
3:10a 6000 N Pulaski, North Park, M/22
12:45p 1300 S Christiana, North Lawndale, M/28
5:00p 1400 N Sacramento, West Town, F/39
5:15p 8700 S Racine, Auburn Gresham, M/18
6:25p 3600 W Schubert, Logan Square, M/25
6:30p 10000 S Princeton, Roseland, M/37
7:35p 11800 S Emerald, West Pullman, F/23
8:00p 8400 S Buffalo, South Chicago, F/36
8:20p 100 N Central Park, Garfield Park, M/20
8:25p 1600 S Springfield, North Lawndale, F/17
8:35p 4300 S Berkeley, Kenwood, M/32
10:15p 8900 S Escanaba, South Chicago, M/55
10:35p 7350 S Sangamon, Englewood, M/27
11:10p 2000 W 68th, Englewood, M/26
11:10p 2000 W 68th, Englewood, M/38
(story)
11:10p 2000 W 68th, Englewood, M/27
11:10p 2000 W 68th, Englewood, M/27
11:10p 2000 W 68th, Englewood, F/24
Monday Overtime
1:15a 2300 W Granville, West Ridge, M/15
1:45a 8200 S Kimbark, Avalon Park, M/28
1:45a 8200 S Kimbark, Avalon Park, M/31

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Milestone

Posted on Wednesday, April 20th, 2016

Bozo's Grand Prize GameThis afternoon, Chicago tallied its 1000th case of hi-speed lead poisoning; 43 days faster than last year and a full two months ahead of 2014. Unfortunately, we’ve only hit bucket number 2.

Well done assholes.

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Mass Rap Shooting

Posted on Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Safe PassageThe FBI defines a mass shooting as an event where four or more people are killed and/or wounded within the same incident. By definition, another rapper/bullet magnet leaving one dead and four others wounded, would be a mass shooting:

“Damond Dawson was “goofing around” with his brother and other relatives and friends, rapping and shooting video in Foster Park when two gunmen opened fire early Tuesday, killing Dawson and wounding four others, according to police and relatives.

“Basically like an ambush,” said Dawson’s aunt, Angela Mathis-Tate, 44. “One coming west of the park and one coming south.”

The shooting happened around 2:20 a.m. as Dawson, 23, and a small group were “rapping around [taking] selfies with their phones” at Foster Park at 1440 W. 84th St, according to relatives.

Dawson was shot once in the back of the head and collapsed in the middle of the park, between a building and a playground. He was pronounced dead on the scene.”

However, since the media defines as mass shooting as an event where two or more people are killed and/or wounded within the same incident in the suburbs with non-minority victims with background-less-checked weapons supplied by the NRA via the Internet/gun show, this doesn’t count. No further laws or “actions” needed.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Saturday, April 16th, 2016

Ladies Target PracticeFor the last two years, this weekend has witnessed the year’s first 70° temps and therefore the year’s first weekend shitshow. The only difference this year is we’ve already seen plenty of shitshows.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 33 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 6 killed, 31 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 10 killed, 36 wounded

Friday 4/15
4:45p 5400 W LeMoyne, Austin, F/1
5:20p 2300 W 66th, Chicago Lawn, M/14
10:30p Cop Shot w/ a Pellet Gun
11:20p 7400 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/32
11:20p 7400 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/35

11:20p 7400 S Eggleston, Englewood, M/45
Saturday 4/16
2:25a 5500 W Congress, Austin, F/21
8:20a 6400 S Langley, Woodlawn, F/28
8:30a 6100 S Bishop, Englewood, M/23
8:30a 6100 S Bishop, Englewood, M/28
11:20a 2000 E 71st, South Shore, M/23
3:10p 6700 S Normal, Englewood, M/20
3:10p 6700 S Normal, Englewood, M/22
6:05p 4100 W Grenshaw, North Lawndale, M/22
8:00p 7300 S University, Grand Crossing, M/13
10:15p 6900 S Damen, Englewood, M/38
Sunday 4/17
12:35a 5000 W Monroe, Austin, M/26
1:25a 1300 S Central Park, North Lawndale, M/33
4:15a 600 N Ashland, West Town, M/22
4:15a 600 N Ashland, West Town, M/23
4:15a 200 W Marquette, Englewood, M/24
4:20a 7200 S Aberdeen, Englewood, M/26
4:50a 6300 S King, Grand Crossing, M/30
6:30a 2800 N Broadway, Lake View, F/36
11:00a 5600 S Michigan, Washington Park, M/18
1:50p 8300 S Stewart, Auburn Gresham, M/27
2:30p 6400 S Eberhart, Woodlawn, M/19
2:55p 4600 N Central Park, Albany Park, M/20
3:55p 100 E 120th, West Pullman, F/25
7:00p 1900 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/31
7:00p 1900 S Troy, North Lawndale, M/36
8:05p 8200 S Maryland, Chatham, M/23
10:15p 7200 S Prairie, Grand Crossing, M/20
10:30p 500 E 103rd, Roseland, M/34
10:30p 500 E 103rd, Roseland, F/41

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Goal Seeking

Posted on Thursday, April 14th, 2016

Empty NetEvery workplace has a jagoff or two (in fact, you may be the office jag and not even know it). It’s likely that a workplace with 12,000 employees has it’s ‘fair share’ of jagoffs. Therefore, when the goal is to prove anyone who is melanin challenged in said workplace is a jagoff, it’s not surprising that some are found. Jag or not.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel left open the possibility Wednesday of dismantling the city’s police oversight agency and acknowledged that racism is a problem within the police force and other City Hall departments.

Emanuel’s remarks came shortly before his appointed Police Accountability Task Force released its recommendations for reforming the Chicago Police Department. The mayor was asked about portions of a draft executive summary of the task force’s report the Tribune first reported on Tuesday, including a recommendation to put in place a citywide reconciliation process beginning with the “superintendent publicly acknowledging CPD’s history of racial disparity and discrimination.”

“I don’t really think you need a task force to know we have racism in America, we have racism in Illinois or that there is racism that exists in the city of Chicago and obviously can be in our departments,” Emanuel said. “The question isn’t, ‘Do we have racism?’ We do. The question is, ‘What are you going to do about it?'”

Now that we know that certain police are the problem, we like to suggest the formation of the Neighborhood Accountability Task Force just to be sure that the remaining 99% of the stats found on the site are indeed the fault of the certain police officers.

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Stay Fetal Update

Posted on Tuesday, April 12th, 2016

A Fetal Homer SimpsonBy all measures, the “crime is down” meme has been replaced by, well, nothing, because it’s best not to talk much about it. Now with enough time passing between the video release and the onset of fetalization, it can been shown there’s a correlation between the two:

“The severe spike in gun violence Chicago is experiencing can be dated to the release of the video in the Laquan McDonald case, a FiveThirtyEight analysis of crime data shows. The same analysis shows that the city has seen a significant drop in arrests made for homicides and nonfatal shootings, as well as other crimes, since the video’s release on Nov. 24. This suggests a decline in law enforcement activity that may be contributing to the rise in gun crime.

The spike in gun violence in Chicago since the end of November, though, is too sharp to be explained by seasonal fluctuations or chance. There have been 175 homicides and approximately 675 nonfatal shooting incidents from Dec. 1 through March 31, according to our analysis of city data. The 69 percent drop in the nonfatal shooting arrest rate and the 48 percent drop in the homicide arrest rate since the video’s release also cannot be explained by temperature or bad luck.”

Obviously it’s the guns’ fault.

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The Weekend’s Stupidity

Posted on Friday, April 8th, 2016

Comiskey Park, 1930Possibly the only thing stupider than the idiocy illustrated on this page is the weather of late. Snow, rain and cold should did help minimize the stupidity this weekend.

Final Stupidity Tally: 3 killed, 13 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 3 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 5 killed, 32 wounded

Friday 4/8
7:00p 5500 S Karlov, West Elsdon, F/23
8:30p 3300 W Beach, Humboldt Park, M/29
11:40p 2600 N Central, Belmont Cragin, M/34
Saturday 4/9
2:10a 4500 S Drexel, Kenwood, M/24
11:40a 5900 W Division, Austin, M/22
10:45p 5600 S King, Washington Park, M/21
Sunday 4/10
1:00a 2200 S Marshall, Little Village, M/18
4:50a Roseland Hospital Drop Off, M/28
8:00a 100 N Leamington, Austin, M/22
11:20a 6500 S Fairfield, Chicago Lawn, M/18
4:55p 1100 N Lawler, Austin, M/15
8:05p 8300 S Baker, South Chicago, M/21
8:50p 700 E 92nd, Chatham, M/43
9:40p 4800 W Monroe, Austin, M/25
10:00p 5700 W Belden, Belmont Cragin, M/14
Monday Overtime
12:30a 5300 W Chicago, Austin, M/25

Key:
shooting
homicide
Weekend = 12p Friday – 6a Monday

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Little Rascals

Posted on Thursday, April 7th, 2016

The Little RascalsTwo excitable ‘yutes’ decided to get some pre-season, armed robbery practice in before the regular season kicks off next month. So far, they’re not doing very well.

“Two boys, age 15 and 12, have been arrested for a string of armed robberies, according to the University of Chicago Police Department.

The two boys were arrested and charged with robbery armed with a firearm at 10:20 p.m. on Monday on the 6100 block of South Greenwood Avenue after they robbed a 27-year-old man, who flagged down police, according to the Chicago Police Department.

University police said the two boys are believed to be behind a string of at least three armed robberies since Saturday, including an attempted armed robbery on Sunday where the two boys ran away after the victim fell down.”

At least there’s plenty of time for them to turn their lives around. Yummy Sandifer was unavailable for comment.

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Overtime

Posted on Tuesday, April 5th, 2016

Overtime ClockThe overtime/manpower shell game has been going on for years now, roughly averaging $100 million a year. Given this year’s shitty performance thus far and the forthcoming Summer Hunger Games, the dollar figure can only up and up and up.

“The Chicago Police Department spent a record $116.1 million on overtime in 2015 — up 17.2 percent from the previous year — to mask a manpower shortage that has mushroomed under Mayor Rahm Emanuel, with police retirements outpacing hiring by 975 officers.

“Overtime is totally out of control. Arrests are down. Stops are down. Crime is up. All we’re doing is paying people to do nothing,” said Ald. Anthony Beale (9th), former chairman of the City Council’s Police Committee.

“If we’re not getting the bang for the buck, we need to stop paying overtime and do the resources allocation I’ve been talking about for years” by reassigning officers to districts where crime is highest, Beale said.”

We’re already doling out generous pay and benefits to 50 part-time aldercreatures who do nothing and by nothing we mean ban stuff, raise taxes and pass along perk$ to their cronies. Maybe Rahm can take them off of desk duty and put them on patrol instead so we can get more bang for our buck.

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